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MoseyWalker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 03:28 PM
Original message
What Happens After Death?
I think there is a parade with giant cartoon balloons, a huge party where all our earthly wishes are granted, we get to meet Spongebob, we are presented with a lifetime achievement award from all of the friends we ever had, and then we take a nap. I'm a little unsure about what happens on the second day, but the first day sounds good.

What do you think?
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Critters2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 03:30 PM
Response to Original message
1. I never speculate about things I don't know about
unlike the vast majority of my colleagues.
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MoseyWalker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 03:34 PM
Response to Reply #1
5. but don't you ever wonder?
and hope that you'll finally get to be able to do something that eluded you in life? Why not speculate? It's all we've got!

It may be somewhat dumb, but it could be fun! Hope is a good thing!

I can wait for the parade, but it doesn't stop me from looking forward to it!
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Critters2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 03:37 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. I do wonder. Mostly I hope I'll see people I love--
my mom, my grandparents, my pets. But I get tired of Christians insisting they KNOW what it'll be like. Scripture says Jesus came back and spent time teaching his disciples afterwards, but even then didn't talk about what it was like. He just kept teaching how to live an ethical life. That's most important.
Too many people insist they know things they don't.
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LaraMN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 03:32 PM
Response to Original message
2. We're processed and sold at Wal-Mart as "pork rinds."
:D
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MoseyWalker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 03:35 PM
Response to Reply #2
6. I think about that periodically, and worry
NOT!

:rofl:

although, stranger things have happened...........
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krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 03:32 PM
Response to Original message
3. Taxes n/t
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MonkeyFunk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 03:33 PM
Response to Original message
4. I believe
John Basedow greets us and then all the animals we ever ate take their revenge.
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Critters2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 03:38 PM
Response to Reply #4
9. Fitness Celebrity John Basedow?!! Wow!! nt
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MoseyWalker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 03:42 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. I was wondering who JB was and
am now afraid to go to sleep lest the animals I used to eat come back to haunt me. They won't bother me in my dreams, right? It's just after the big sleep thing?

shivers
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HughBeaumont Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 03:38 PM
Response to Original message
8. I don't know. Usually, they headlined.


RIP Chuck.
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Lautremont Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 03:41 PM
Response to Original message
10. If we're good, we go to the eternal ball room.
If we're bad, we have to browse aisles and aisles of cheap Scandanavian furniture.
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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 09:12 PM
Response to Reply #10
40. Oh that's just great!
I am a lousy dancer. And I hate Ikea- I am afraid of getting trapped there already, eternity? Yech!
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mockmonkey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 04:10 PM
Response to Original message
12. You sit behind a giant desk
and there is a phone on that desk. You have to talk into that phone and you must answer ten simple questions to get to Heaven. The "Being" you must answer to is very busy so the "Being" uses a voice recognition program. You spend the rest of eternity not getting it to understand anything you say.

I spent today trying to talk to such a "Being" concerning my Cobra insurance.:nuke:
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terrya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 04:12 PM
Response to Original message
13. A lot of inactivity.
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YankeyMCC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 04:14 PM
Response to Original message
14. Same stuff that went on before you were born
;)
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av8rdave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 04:14 PM
Response to Original message
15. I think George Carlin once said that your soul goes to a garage in Buffalo
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:03 PM
Response to Reply #15
29. 'Dr. Timothy Leary's brother, Really Leary
today formed a new religion that advocates when you die, your soul goes to a garage in Buffalo." :7



I rather like your concept of Frisbeeism, though. :rofl:
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av8rdave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 09:22 AM
Response to Reply #29
59. That was it...I had forgotten a lot of the routine
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 05:13 PM
Response to Reply #59
60. It's from one of his 'news' bits
Probably "The 11 O'Clock News" on "FM & AM."
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catmandu57 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 04:41 PM
Response to Original message
16. We go far far away into another part of the cosmos
Where we begin a new existance as something else until that is up then we get flung off into another part of the cosmos rinse repeat rinse repeat.
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Art_from_Ark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 12:41 AM
Response to Reply #16
55. What? No lather?
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KG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 04:55 PM
Response to Original message
17. sounds like what miami has in mind when castro kicks the bucket
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 04:57 PM
Response to Original message
18. I meet everybody I ever wanted to and we are all fine friends
and also I have the voice of a goddess. Really, it would bring tears to your eyes.
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SteppingRazor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 04:58 PM
Response to Original message
19. Decomposition
n/t
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ContraBass Black Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 12:27 AM
Response to Reply #19
52. Seconded.
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Burma Jones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 05:00 PM
Response to Original message
20. You get a mint.......
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Shine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 05:47 PM
Response to Reply #20
26. LOL!
:rofl:
chocolate covered, I hope.
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Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 05:02 PM
Response to Original message
21. Without preservation, diagenesis.
Decomposition, cycling of nutrients, carbon etc.
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formerrepuke Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 05:03 PM
Response to Original message
22. You get to put on your resume.."bore mortal coil for xx years"
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unsavedtrash Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 05:05 PM
Response to Original message
23. I just hope it involves a blissful, uninterrupted nap.
If I can have that then I think I can deal with what might come next.
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Conan_The_Barbarian Donating Member (404 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 05:23 PM
Response to Original message
24. The answer is 42
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Shine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 05:47 PM
Response to Original message
25. The body decays, people left behind are sad, the soul lives on....
exactly HOW it lives on is unclear, but it sounds good to me.
:D
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MoseyWalker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 05:48 PM
Response to Reply #25
27. Just so it doesn't become
a Swiffer. I couldn't bear to be a Swiffer.
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Shine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:17 PM
Response to Reply #27
30. Yeah, that would suck.....or is it wipe?
:rolf:
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cloudbase Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 05:58 PM
Response to Original message
28. The eternal question
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 11:45 PM
Response to Reply #28
46. Welcome to DU, my dear cloudbase!
Enjoy your stay in our crazy, addictive little village!

:hi:
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cloudbase Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 12:50 AM
Response to Reply #46
57. Thank you,
though I was crazy long before I got here.
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SPKrazy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:24 PM
Response to Original message
31. Worm Food
as to anything else I don't know

energy can neither be created nor destroyed so I figure the energy in a body goes somewhere

the decomposed body grows food to feed other animals

:shrug:
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sarge43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 07:18 PM
Response to Original message
32. Or we spend eternity back in junior high school. n/t
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 07:22 PM
Response to Original message
33. Nothing. Zero. Nyet. Nada. You cease to exist, physically, mentally..
In the memories of those near and dear, hopefully.
But 'you' are...just...gone.
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Mojambo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 07:25 PM
Response to Reply #33
35. That's what I'm going with. n/t
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 07:26 PM
Response to Reply #35
36. All evidence points to this.
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 07:22 PM
Response to Original message
34. Extra innings
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 07:44 PM
Response to Original message
37. I think we lather, rinse, and repeat.
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SammyWinstonJack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 08:41 PM
Response to Reply #37
38. Some of us shouldn't. bushco comes too mind.
:scared:
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 08:42 PM
Response to Reply #38
39. "Boy, he's gonna feel THAT one in the morning!"
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The Traveler Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 09:18 PM
Response to Reply #37
41. I agree
We get a vacation, and then we get thrown back into the mix master for the next ride.
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u4ic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 12:40 AM
Response to Reply #37
54. That's my belief, too
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Ariana Celeste Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 07:15 PM
Response to Reply #37
66. Same here
:hi:
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WritingIsMyReligion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 10:44 PM
Response to Original message
42. We rot in the earth like every other living thing.
Why should it be any different for humans?

:dilemma:

:P
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gemdem Donating Member (975 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 11:34 PM
Response to Original message
43. It's either...
Soylent Green or "the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out..."

Either way it's a guess. :shrug:
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 11:41 PM
Response to Original message
44. Mercifully little.
"And so it is that we, as men, do not exist until we do; and then it is that we play with our world of existent things, and order and disorder them, and so it shall be that Non-existence shall take us back from Existence, and that nameless Spirituality shall return to Void, like a tired child home from a very wild circus."

Principia Discordia
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dysfunctional press Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 11:42 PM
Response to Original message
45. we cease to exist.
one ride per person, no after party.

and the sooner people grasp that and get it through their heads, the sooner civilization might have a chance to advance.
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amitten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 11:46 PM
Response to Original message
47. No one will ever know until they're dead.
Why even bother wondering?
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momophile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 11:51 PM
Response to Original message
48. we go somewhere and process what we just went through
maybe debrief with a support group or something. and then compare it to our previous lives. then we get ready (take a shower, dress?) to go on to the next life. then we go. busy busy busy!
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 11:55 PM
Response to Original message
49. Heck, what happens *before* death?
I'm still working that one out.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 12:23 AM
Response to Original message
50. Life goes on.
I'll be back. I hope I don't come back as a mealworm. That would suck.
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ContraBass Black Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 12:27 AM
Response to Original message
51. Ask me when I'm dead.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 12:36 AM
Response to Original message
53. Just "lights out." So enjoy each day that you have before then.
Redstone
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LostInAnomie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 12:41 AM
Response to Original message
56. The local repuke mortician violates your corpse.
Edited on Wed Jan-31-07 12:46 AM by LostInAnomie
It's natures way.

:evilgrin:
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ForrestGump Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 04:51 AM
Response to Original message
58. On DU, you can be sure
that someone will osmoregulate on your grave while you're still warm, and do so with special glee if you don't actually deserve it.

No good life goes unpunished, here.
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 05:24 PM
Response to Original message
61. Nuttin'
Lights out, you up and die. Then you're dead. The end.
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Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 05:24 PM
Response to Original message
62. The exact same thing that happened before I was born n/t
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otherlander Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 05:36 PM
Response to Original message
63. After death,
your body gets turned into oil. Plants get turned into coal, and eventually, pressed to diamond. And so, in the future, a rich lady will wear the weeds I pulled out of my garden, set in gold on her finger, and I will be dumped into her furnace. :hi:
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Wapsie B Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 05:51 PM
Response to Original message
64. St. Peter meets you at the pearly gates
with an ice-cold 12-pack and we go on a tour of the land of the hearafter, drinking and shoot'n the shit. I'm stopping by the brothel first.

:evilgrin:
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 09:01 PM
Response to Reply #64
68. But do you have to listen to a time-share spiel first?
That would suck ...
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Wapsie B Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 09:17 PM
Response to Reply #68
69. Yeah I hate those time-share sales pitches.
No, I think it's more like a realtor tour of homes.
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NNadir Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 06:37 PM
Response to Original message
65. You stop worrying.
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madinmaryland Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-31-07 07:49 PM
Response to Original message
67. I think your body will release your bowels.
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