Has your time spent on DU destroyed your Marriage or Relationship?

It's gotta be hard when your partner just isn't "into" spending time on butt parsing articles that are going to work against the BFEE.

It's gotta be hard when "your partner" just isn't interested in being as "politically aware" of the lates nuance and shift in Polls and Public Opinion.

It's gotta be hard raising kids and dealing with LIFE to spend time hear reading "LINKS" to INFO that you really can't even talk about with your friends/family and your kids school groups and others you encounter.

HOW DO YOU ALL DEAL WITH IT???? :shrug:

Now I keep it a secret in my personal life from my friends and family. I just tell them that I'm surfin porn and they say, "oh ok".

we'd be doing plenty of other things... or plenty of other thing, it depends on your point of view... :spray:

doing the "other thing"

I'm kidding.
If time on DU were impacting my personal life that much I would probably take a break from DU and come back when I can limit my time here. Actually, I did that once before when I stopped posting for several months, but there were also some other reasons for that.

She's not on DU but likes to hear about stuff here.

and since my laptop sits right next to my easy chair, i'm still in the room and when he's watching sports or something else i'm not interested in, I can surf to my heart's content while still spending time together (ie-chatting during commercials LOL)

He wants to know the latest news and what everyone thinks about it.

but from "time to time" my Devotion to the Cause conflicts with his "Devotion" so even in couples or partnerships where BOTH AGREE...it's still tough..when one is more involved and some times than the other.

Getting a "Healthy Balance" is hard also...but how can that be achieved?

Mine was destroyed by my spouse being a money grubbing freak.

But it has put a strain on it.

And being a Moderator really strained things between us........

He is not one little bit interested in hearing about DU, unfortunately...

He is however, a liberal Dem, so at least we have that in common....

*sigh*

I try to keep saying.....and it works most times...but there are times when ...well "adjustments" need to be made.

I'd cut back or stop.

you are a good Time Manager. Would that we all could do that...we would be much happier. Thanks!

it's a matter of priorities. Talking to people I've never met, or debating things, or what have you is less important to me than real life interaction and relationships. I love my DU friends, but if they got in the way of my in person relationships, they'd just have to get less of my time.
I probably wouldn't date someone who at least didn't understand my real-life involvement in things, so if my internet politics got in the way it would be easy and probably good for me to give up. I don't feel like I accomplish much on DU but argue with people who'll never change and never change me, and make friends I'll probably never meet. I enjoy it, but not enough to tear my life apart for it.

recipe's and tons of news sources, i think it's added quality to my life.

There's lots of support here and I've gotten great help from DU'ers on Computer Problems that have fixed stuff "hours on phone" with "Paid TECH HELP" haven't solved.

DU is a good resource. I'm talking about the Political Side of it though in this post.

Thanks ...for mentioning the "other" Underground Forums, though.. :thumbsup:

and sometimes i'll share something with him that i've read here and then we'll actually discuss it. Also he's out of the country a lot and that has made him very aware how our country is viewed and thats opened up the door to many discussions.

and he really got an EAR FULL! It was good he's Progressive....they were asking "around the edges" but there's lots of questioning going on about whether Americans are Bushites...or is their some dissention.

Only thing is one worries (as a Progressive) about views expressed putting one on Terra List at Airports....So far so good. I have lots of "anti-Spyware" on my computer. Even so..one can't be sure...

:shrug: The questions were all about Bush...and what was going on in America....When your job depends on getting Contracts from Europeans...it's kind of hard to be TOTALLY HONEST...but hubby did the best he could..:shrug:

So, yeah, every now and then I get "the look" and I need to back off. However, I caught him reading and posting here in the wee hours of the morning when he can't sleep, so he's getting somewhat addicted (tho he would LIE about that to everyone here.)

Was it? :wow:

Which is why I have to keep him in a cage. He does not conform to ANYTHING. He is CRAZY as FUCK!

That's f'd up....and, in a way, awesome :D

ps- you're one to talk, skip...


:rofl:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Again, one to talk...If you were from Lawerence, maybe...but, no. :eyes:

Yeah...I am CRAZY. I'm from Lynn....cursed for all eternity. How do you think it feels when I raise my hand at a meeting in Russia and tell them all I'm from Lynn. There's at least one of them who has been to Lynn to buy drugs. Everyone knows about Lynn. EVERYONE.

:rofl:

i <3 u.... :loveya:

Cronin's Bar?

I knew it was Mr. Gray.

Kind of threw me for a loop. It didn't last long though, it was pulled quick.

Hope all is cool now. :hi:

:rofl:

You'd have to know him...he told Hell's Angels years ago when they asked him to join "I ain't a joiner, so fuck off."

He's mellowed somewhat...but he's still unpredictable. I hate being in a store with him. He embarrasses the hell out of me.

I need to be forewarned.

Mr Gen is a lib and he cares deeply about all of the causes, but it doesn't take up the majority of his down time, like it does with me. I can tell when he is burned out on my, sometimes obsessive, devotion. I then will scale back and give him some quality time. It's good for me, too.

Reading and posting on DU, writing and calling congress people, watching cable news and C-Span -- it ends up being a huge OCD trip at times. I can take breaks, but I can never go cold turkey.
:hi:

It works.

for dealing with it. ESCAPE!

it hasn't ruined our relationship.

not at all....:) DU has made my life in Missouri go by a bit better, truth be told...:D

But I don't spend all my time on DU either, so that's got a big part to do with it I imagine..

It keeps me out of the bars. :7

Seriously though it can be quite the balancing act though. So much to do and not enough time to do it.

and Kids or No Kids...what time is left? It's exhausting! :D Saves alot of money though...except for the Internet connection fees..and donations.

I'm not married but I was in a relationship when I started posting here.

DU had nothing to do with the end of that relationship. I only got online when he was working, most of the time.

time I've been spending here. She's a conservative Republican (at least, she SAYS she is; she hates politics altogether, despises B*sh and the war, and is more progressive than she is willing to admit) and hates my involvement in politics. I can't give up my DU-ing, though.

We've been married way too long. This is just one more thing that he doesn't "get" about me.

Really, it's doing more damage to my statistics grade than my relationship with my SO. :hide:

The s.o. fails to realize that sometimes the only thing that keeps me from killing the s.o. is you guys. :D

25 years in May and we are solid. :-)

I was in a relationship.

No, it didn't affect the relationship; in fact, he appreciated all the LBN stories I sent him.

We've split up since - DU was not a determining factor - but I still send him articles. He still appreciates it.

I would never let this place come between me and a relationship, unless it brought out some fundamental differences - such as values and beliefs; or some offensive behaviour, such as control (I don't want you to post there), etc.

I can hear the carnage as I type.

Occasionally, I lean back in my chair and comment
on the latest outrage, as women, children and farm
animals fall to the snicker snack of his vorpal
blade....

:spray:

You are... so very lucky.

Though I spend far less time here than he does playing.

in the evenings after the baby goes to bed, Mr.momophile kills all kinds of stuff on his Xbox. I read DU. Only occasionally is it different. I try to get him to play scrabble with me - he says it's too much like work - too much thinking. Oh well.

He's not that into it, for various reasons. Most of the time he's fine with me posting, but sometimes I get a bit addicted, to the detriment of our time together. We've had evenings where the kids are in bed and we're both sitting on our respective computers, in our office, doing our own thing. Me, usually hangin' in the lounge and him usually surfin' the web, de-stressing from the day.

So, in answer to your question, NO my time on DU hasn't destroyed my relationship, but it's had its effect.

A postive side effect has been the conversations that are fostered between us from various things I read and learn about on DU. That's pretty cool.

:hi:

However, this was probably because she really didn't get a good look at it until I posted the poll about the "friend" and his fiance who had accepted another man's number, was talking to him, once broke up with "friend" so she could be "open for the opportunity" with the other guy before she tearfully changed her mind and begged to stay together. (she revealed all of this over the phone)

My ex-fiance and I were both somewhat secretive about our relationship problems with family and friends--sort of one of those couple agreements we had made. She was telling me I was overreacting to the situation and that it was no big deal. I wanted to find a way to know what others would think without breaking our agreement, so I used a "friend" for the poll. Of course, most DUers felt that she was in the wrong. When she called me, I told her I had posted a poll about a "friend" and she went to DU to look for the thread (she was at work). Instead of apologizing, she made a comment about DU being a "bunch of whiny liberals"! Not long after that she dumped me over the phone on the day we were supposed to see eachother in person for the first time in three weeks.

when I was moderator during the primaries... I, of course, suggested that she divorce him immediately. If you notice above, he is still slaying freakish video game monsters from within her house. :eyes:

I don't post much at night, or when the kids are home.

Usually works. The ladies rarely bother me about it, not my oldest son though. He's always egging me about being on the comp. He has some fantasy doing exercise and work my doctors forbid will return me to former glory. Sometimes i just have to tell him to get fucked and go home.

I guess it's hard on him to see me like this. He's used to me being active. He also clings to my former image. He still wants to see me as the big tough guy, not the geek on the walker/wheelchair.

:evilgrin:

She says that she, "Just wouldn't know what to say!". My gf is pretty solitary..we hang out and talk a lot, but she also likes to just read by herself, so that is when I usually go on DU (or while I'm working on my thesis or at school). If anything, we have both gotten enough laughs and links from DU to say that its been HELPFUL in our relationship.

...spend more time on the Buffy, Angel and Firefly group I co-own than I do on DU, with DU running a close second. My SO/girlfriend, (we're lesbians in our 50s and have been together for 15 years so what do we call each other.)...anyway, yes, my girlfriend would mind if I stayed online once she's home, so I don't. I'm unemployed so get plenty of online time.
Lee