Both of my sons appear to be left-handed. How should I punish them for it?

Rulers-on-the-knuckles are so 1950's Catholic School.

More modern suggestions, please?

is to cut off their left hands.

Clearly they have been resistant to other methods you have used from Dobson's excellent book series on child-rearing. Axing the hand off is the only way to force them to use their right hands the way God intended. It should help keep them from masturbating later in their lives as well.

The only thing filthier in God's eyes than a boy is a left-handed boy. And, of course, females, but I'm just talking about people in this paragraph.

I think this is more modern.

God has a plan for your children, and their recruitment by promoters of the left-handed agenda isn't a part of it. You need to get them into church immediately, immerse them deeply in the word and start seeing a christian counselor.

There are organizations committed to helping children like yours overcome their "left-handedness," and some time in inpatient treatment may help your sons to realize that they weren't born left-handed, that writing with the wrong hand isn't normal, that their desire to write left-handed is WRONG! and DANGEROUS! and that with god's love, they can bring themselves back to god's biblical plan for young men and become illiterate sheepherders who don't write at all.

I'll be praying for them.

Between that and the ruler, I was cured.

Sure, he gained a lifelong discomfort with authority figures and a real fear of crabby old women in habits, but it did wonders for his baseball game.

God has a plan. Glory!

I can't brush my teeth right handed.

And nuns freak me out. A lot.

Make them use their right hands.

If they try, then tase them.

:rofl:

every time they dare to use them. But you gotta start now. The younger the better. Whack! It worked for me. Now, I "think" left handed but use my right. Except sometimes when I use my left. But that's only when I'm not thinking at all because if I were thinking I would know that my thinking was wrong for being left and then I would of course correct myself and use my right which everyone knows is the only hand to use.