Other crimes to which Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has confessed

Following years of torture and abuse, vile terrorist Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has proven a treasure trove of information central to some of the most monstrous crimes in recent years. Among his less publicized admissions:

Conspired to steal Fred Flinstone's Fruity Pebbles
Used slugs in the soda machine at the last secret meeting of PNAC
Paid by check at a register clearly marked "cash only"
Short-sheeted all the beds during a stay at Crawford Ranch in the late 1990's
Shaved Britney's head
From within Gitmo, he rigged the results of last year's American Idol
Used 5W-30 instead of 10W-30 in Dick Cheney's Hummer
Shot Harry Whittington while quail hunting
Was not ready for his close-up at the time of his arrest
Told all of his friends that Bruce Willis was dead in The Sixth Sense

Doubtless other crimes will out over time. Your suggestions?

Link:

http://www.celebrityhack.com/anna-nicole-paternity-madness

:spray: :spray: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:o

:rofl:

David Letterman's probable top ten list tonight. :D

The horror...the horror.
(I got better)

in the driver's seat of that guy from Montana.

Served as Pickles' wardrobe consultant
Laid a false scent that made Lassie think that Timmy was really down the well
Made collect obscene telephone calls
Removed the tags from a Sealy Posturpedic mattress
Inhaled

:grr:

;-)

He screwed up the Connecticut-Massachusettes border, putting that stupid "Southwick Jog" notch in it! He was the one screwing up surveyors Nathaniel Woodward and Solomon Saffery in 1642!



Damn you, KSM! Damn you to hell!!!!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:wtf:

I thought everything was Clinton's fault. What are the freepers going to think.

Wrote Metallica's Black Album.
Gave Walter Mondale the idea to tell people he'd raise their taxes.

and we have reason to believe he put the "Ram" in the rama-lama-ding-dong as well.

Now that we know N.O. was attacked by terraists, can we please rebuild it? :shrug:

until dawn in 1972.

I was pissed about it for years, but I got over it.

:rofl:

Fucking ice came flying off and smacked the front of my car - scratched it up bad

Zodiac? Isn't it obvious?

I know he went through the 10-items-or-less line with 14 items.

He must die!!!! :o

also, he paid the Hamburglar to burgle burgers :P

..to Bill O'Really :rofl:

He caused Dale Earnhardt to hit the wall in the 2001 Daytona 500.

He not only left the cap off the toothpaste, he stripped the threads.

He's responsible for the Heartbreak of Psoriasis.

He deregulated the airlines.

He deregulated the power companies.

He was the real CEO of Enron during the California blackouts.

He took Castrol Super Clean off the market.

He owns Diebold Election Systems.