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asthmaticeog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:35 AM
Original message
Post bad medical advice.
I will begin:

Picking your nose lets the cancer out of you that demons put there.
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:37 AM
Response to Original message
1. always take more tylenol than the bottle recommends
I mean... who needs kidneys!
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:45 AM
Response to Reply #1
8. inhalation of crushed tylenol is an effective cocaine substitute
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 11:41 AM
Response to Reply #1
23. Tylenol and a 5th of Jack Daniel - good medicine
:eyes:
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mikeytherat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:37 AM
Response to Original message
2. Leeches are good to treat an imbalance of bodily humours.
Also, if it's a clear liquid, it can't hurt you.

mikey_the_rat
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Hugin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:40 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. Who needs all that water blocking up important humour ducts...
:rofl:
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asthmaticeog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:43 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. Seriously. Blocking the humor ducts is what GD is for.
Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week...
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Hugin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:49 AM
Response to Reply #5
11. Since we're talking humours here...
Which of the four bodily humours are the Freepers lacking?

Black Bile?
Yellow Bile?
Blood?
Phlegm?

Is there a synthetic substitute they could be given... They're surely lacking one of them.
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asthmaticeog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:52 AM
Response to Reply #11
13. Blood. No shortage of bile or phlegm over there. nt
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Hugin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:55 AM
Response to Reply #13
16. True! True!
Eureka! A medical genius!



Now, I've had this pain in my ass for the last six years... What's causing it, Doctor?
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asthmaticeog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 11:41 AM
Response to Reply #16
24. Hmmm, how long have you been with your current employer and/or SO?
:evilgrin:
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Hugin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:38 AM
Response to Original message
3. "Smoking reduces your reactions to airborne allergens".
I -actually- heard that one once.
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philosophie_en_rose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:44 AM
Response to Original message
6. All you can eat McDonalds buffets are the diet plans of the future!
:9
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:44 AM
Response to Original message
7. when beset by demons (or other witchery) drive a hole in the side of the skull
to let loose the foul distemper.
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cloudbase Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:46 AM
Response to Original message
9. Eat more poop.
After all, billions of flies can't be wrong.
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:46 AM
Response to Original message
10. Always pour rubbing alcohol directly into cuts and scrapes. Doesn't hurt a bit.
:yoiks:
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Hugin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:52 AM
Response to Reply #10
12. I wasn't aware my Mom was seeing other patients...
:rofl:
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:56 AM
Response to Reply #12
17. ROFL!
:rofl: I think your mom and my mom must have gone to the same medical classes.. :P
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Hugin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 11:08 AM
Response to Reply #17
18. "Who needs sutures when you have a sewing kit."
Edited on Tue Mar-20-07 11:15 AM by Prag
May have been an advanced course... I suppose. :D


To her credit, I never got an infection. I also didn't realize that aspirin was actually a
pain killer until I was in my thirties. As, she would only give me a half when I was young...
I thought it was ritual medicine. LoL!
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terrya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:53 AM
Response to Original message
14. Laudanum is good for what ails you!
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Little Wing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:53 AM
Response to Original message
15. Share your dog training techniques with the DU lounge for advice
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derby378 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 11:11 AM
Response to Original message
19. Take vasopressin with ketamine, because you'll want to remember the experience
:rofl:
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 11:18 AM
Response to Original message
20. Drink plenty of alcohol when taking narcotic pain relievers
It will help you sleep. O8)
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MorningGlow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 11:31 AM
Response to Original message
21. Something my EX doctor actually told me
"You were overweight as a child so you should expect to be overweight as an adult."

Never mind the 25 years in between when I was THIN, you asshole. Oh yeah--that, and my thyroid problem. Let's ignore that one; it's too much work to address it.

:eyes:

P.S.: Bitter? Who, me?
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Critters2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 12:16 PM
Response to Reply #21
31. I once had a doctor tell me that low blood pressure in youth
is a predictor of HIGH blood pressure later in life. Wanted to put me on blood pressure meds when my pressure was 110/70.

Not my doctor anymore.
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5thGenDemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 11:40 AM
Response to Original message
22. Don't worry about that pain in your left shoulder
You probably just twisted your back. It'll go away.
John
I did that one for two weeks. Turned out my right coronary artery was collapsing. Would've killed me dead dead dead in another couple of days.
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formerrepuke Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 12:01 PM
Response to Original message
25. You can't get pregnant the first time you 'do it'.............n/t
Edited on Tue Mar-20-07 12:01 PM by formerrepuke
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Courtesy Flush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 12:03 PM
Response to Original message
26. Insurance doesn't pay for new shoes
But it does pay for new prosthetics. Lay your legs on the tracks, folks!
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tk2kewl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 12:07 PM
Response to Original message
27. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out
:silly:
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LaraMN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 12:10 PM
Response to Original message
28. Pelvic exam advice, two words: "clench up."
:o
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 12:12 PM
Response to Reply #28
30. Don't forget to chill the 'Duck Face' before using it
Nothing like an ice cold 'Duck Face' when getting an exam.
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MonkeyFunk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 12:11 PM
Response to Original message
29. Try ...
homeopathy or chiropractic! My aunt swears by it!
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 12:17 PM
Response to Original message
32. Straight from my MIL.
Put your elbows in a sinkful of hot water to cure a headache. Also, drink a mixture of honey and lemon because it flushes away phlegm as it pours through the lungs. :crazy:
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Critters2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 12:17 PM
Response to Original message
33. Does it hurt when you do this
:banghead: ?

Well, stop doing that!
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bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 12:37 PM
Response to Original message
34. ingesting hydrogen peroxide alleviates internal infection...
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asthmaticeog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 09:25 PM
Response to Reply #34
35. AND it's refreshing!
:thumbsup:
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Miss_Strawberry Donating Member (282 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 09:27 PM
Response to Original message
36. Having sex with a virgin
will cure AIDS and if you are a virgin you can have sex and won't get pregnant the first time.
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Scarlett17 Donating Member (754 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:07 PM
Response to Original message
37. Breastfeeding is great birth control. n/t
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ruiner4u Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:08 PM
Response to Original message
38. It aint good if it dont bleed...
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qnr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:10 PM
Response to Original message
39. Bad light bulbs are hard on your eyes, and are generally due to dirty sockets; lick your fingers
Edited on Tue Mar-20-07 10:16 PM by qnr
and clean the sockets out. Or use a direct application of the tongue in those cases of serious dirt layers.

Note: Combo bad DIY and Medical advice!
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cobalt1999 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:14 PM
Response to Original message
40. well whenever my wife complains of some aliment...
I always reply "You know, having sex will fix that right up". :)
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mentalsolstice Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:16 PM
Response to Original message
41. Overtly & loudly burping and farting
burns a lot of calories...according to my college roommate (back in the late 70s).
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Cobalt-60 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:17 PM
Response to Original message
42. Abstinence
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