Cat commandments?

Cat commandments?
for all you cat lovers out there

Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the computer
thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem
thou shalt not sit in front of the televeision or monitor as if thou art transparent
thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy humans face (how many times has that happened to you?)
thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy humans genital area
fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors (patio doors, How many of you have witnessed this?)
thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou will fall in and trap thyself
thou shalt not jump onto sleeping humans bladder at 4 am
thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunty
thou shalt not trip thy human even if they are walking too slow
thou shalt show remorse when being scolded (lol,,uh-huh and who's cat has actually cared that you were scolding them?)

Thou shall not gorge on krunchies then puke them up all over the house.

I dont know how I could have forgotten that one lol.

Those "shalt nots" are "shalts." Just stating the obvious.

looks up with his eyes open wide. It's soooo hard to stay mad at him.

That is rule number 1.

I was going to say the same thing.

After all "Dogs Have Masters. Cats Have Staffs".

Thou shalt not run in front of thy human at the top of the stairs

She makes the rules around here.

Though shalt not sneak into the dusty and wet basement, roll in some horrendous black crap you found there, and then return to the kitchen to jump on the counter and leave muddy polydactyl footprints everywhere as you search for munchies?

He is now curled up in a peaceful, filthy ball, sound asleep. Kittens.

Thou shall not use thy claws to get attention.
Thy canines are not meant for sharpening claws.
Thou shall avoid the "sweet leaf" (catnip).