My life is so weird.

You know, sometimes you just walk through life, doing your very best. Most of the time, it is the best that you can do, just working towards your goals, one step at a time.

I've always tried to do that. Or, at least, when I gained the wisdom of just taking one step at a time, towards my various goals, I learned to do that--just take one step at a time. It is most probable, logically, that that is all that you CAN do, in a lifetime. Taking the next step, even when you don't know where it is going, is usually the best decision, in most cases, I suppose.

I think that what is flooring me at this time is that my steps are leading towards something much bigger than what I envisioned them as, in my lifetime

I have done a really good job, don't get me wrong. I usually DO do a really good job, in whatever I set my mind to. It's just that, this time, it means a lot. It means people's lives.

And that scares me. I do not like to have that much responsibility. It is horrible to me.

I like to work. I like to do a good job. But what that means is frightening to me now; it is too big now. It affects too many lives. I don't like that at all.

I am afraid. And I don't know who else to tell this to. I am very proud of the work that I have done. I know that it is correct.

I am just afraid of something else. I am not sure what.

success and failure... two sides of the same coin.

we handle success about as well as we handle failure.

rising to the top of the heap freaks a lot of people out... why do you think there are so many who are content to stay in the middle of the pile, even hiding in the pile.

but i don't know your internal dilemma, it sounds like you will figure it out to me though. :D

It gives you a feeling of power, but at the same time since you are the one living in your skin, and sometimes making mistakes or doing things wrong, you realize, "Who me?" and you get overwhelmed.

Taking things one step at a time will see you through. Also, trusting in your heart and keeping in touch with your goals and dreams, and continuing to ask yourself, "What is truly right?" will help you navigate things.

I think that when we get into situations of power, those people who go astray are the ones that have somehow lost touch with their idealistic core. It is very difficult to be both an idealist and a pragmatist, but we need both impulses in our heart. Our idealism and purity to help us realize why we are doing what we are doing, and to keep us going, and to realize what we DON'T want to compromise on, and our pragmatism to help us actually get it done, even if, ultimately, it is not a full and perfect realization of our vision, and yet it is something achieved.