It's a bad idea to tell the man you're divorcing what you think of his mother, isn't it?

Too late.
I think I'll have that drink now.

MILs are usually not well liked anyway.

but one way to make it easier is not to tell your daughter-in-law that God hates her because she's not a proper wife and daughter-in-law. Also, don't criticize her clothing and cooking. Meh. It's going to suck being a MIL.

is there some fucking written law that says you can't do something like that?

where is it at?

:shrug:

if I didn't love his parents the same way he did. I've been careful for many years but had a blowout this afternoon and another one tonight. His words, "Now I KNOW it's over." Like he didn't already. huh.

:wtf:

how could you ever love them the way he did? they are your inlaws, you can love them, but they didn't raise you, and you aren't going to feel the way he does ever. In fact, to insist upon it is really asking for a boundary violation to occur, to pull you into an enmeshed system.

blowout eh?

ya okay?

:hug:

His saying that is part and parcel of what he is... an absolutist, a control freak, a perfectionist. Oh, I don't want to criticize the man I just want to separate peacefully. He's going to end up living with his mother, just like his 53-yr-old brother does, and the three of them will think it's perfectly normal. Sigh. He just said that I am the one with the skewed view. :eyes: Every time I feel sad about the divorce, this shit happens. If I believed in god, I'd say He/She/It is watching out for me and making SURE I escape.

Where's brigit, to tell me I need a something and a poke? Pure self-indulgence, that's what this shit is.

thought fields, force, gawdess, nature, the universe, or some unknown entity, or random chance, it sounds like it is just the reality that things ain't what they need to be.

you are groovy ya know.

somehow the idea of he and his brother living with their mother reminded me of some movie or play, shit i'm too alzheimered out to remember but it was FUNNY maybe a tv show that was short lived. very funny though. three sons who lived with their mother.

and well never mind.
you need a something and a poke.... :evilgrin: I'm not sure what you meant by that but my mind went somewhere naughty he he he

oh btw. IF THERE IS SOMEONE READING THIS POST THAT IS THINKING THEY ARE FUCKING SNEAKY DOING IT. YOU ARE SO BUSTED !!!:rofl:


:hug: for crimmie!

pawpicker, that Alzheimers is going to get you in major trouble. I will say no more, except that you have cojones.

evidence of it accidentally again today

so fuck it!

sometimes just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they aren't watching you.

:rofl:

Behold my restraint, because I could be having a field day, mon amour, mon petit chou, je veux couchez avec toi, kissy kissy.

:rofl:

:spank:

:o

and the spanking is what I really need remember!

:rofl:


:loveya:

:rofl:

je vous aime beaucoup!

;)
on edit for beaucoup
:rofl:

hehe! Goodnight.

i'm going i'm going

i'm ready

:hug:

...things are probably pretty touchy no matter what the topic, eh? Have a drink, relax, and remember that one day you'll look back on these days and wonder how the fuck you managed to stay out of prison.

When I dropped my ex off at the airport it was all I could do to avoid screaming in happiness and relief before I cleared line-of-sight.

I've lived with him as a brother for years and years and he DRIVES ME NUTS! I truly want him to be happy but not at my expense. If i could drop him off at an airport you'd hear my shouting in joy from where you are now standing. :hi:

nearly seventeen years, "Lisa, my daughter, you're a saint." If you knew my mother, you would know what a condemnation that is of my inlaws.

:hug:

I... really don't like being hated. :hug:

:hug:

that makes it all better. :hug: I adore you, more.

I mean, dragged me to the floor and walloped me until I was bruised.

The marriage continued for a couple of more years, yet I didn't hold any grudges against my former mother-in-law. I was probably an asshole that night and while I didn't deserve to be beaten, I may have deserved some kind of punishment in some ways. The fight, as I recall, was over whether we should come to her apartment for EVERY holiday, or whether I was ever going to be allowed to have a holiday in my OWN APARTMENT.

After the divorce, my ex-MIL used to say, "Peter is my only son, and his two children are my only grandchildren. You will always be their mother and for that reason, I will always be kind to you." And she always was.

They are both dead now. I try to remember the good times with all the people who were once a part of my life.

You will get through this and it will come to have a bittersweet feeling to it. That is, if you ever loved this person at all.

She's almost like a child and she resents me, I'm not entirely sure why. But I love that she has been a fine Oma to my children and that they are, literally, the center of her life. I would never attempt to take that from her, but she wouldn't return the favor and has already tried to turn my daughter against me. It won't work of course; my daughter is almost sixteen and sees her Oma very objectively.

They beat you? If you can look back at that and feel bittersweet, then I can hope for the same, at least. :hug: You're a strong woman, Radio_Lady.

I'm not proud of it, but I've been through it twice. I also found a wonderful 34 year union with Husband #3, who took me and my two little kids into his home and heart in 1972. (He keeps reminding me that he's my "current" husband -- and now has outlived both Lover #2 and Husband #2, who both passed in 2006. His goal is to outlive ALL my former loves!)

And I'm still here.

In peace,

Radio Lady Ellen in Oregon

Maybe that's your answer as to why she resents you: you took her boy away from her. :shrug:

with her husband and told me a number of times she stayed with him only because of her Catholic religion. I would have compassion forr her except she has consistently sided with my husband, though he has been both physically and verbally abusive since day one, and she's known it. Her view of marriage is the same as my husband's and it's one reason I must leave.
'

I'm having a glass of pinot grigio and a late supper. Care to join me?

After the... discussion... the STBE went for the beer. I have just poured myself a glass of sauvignon blanc. A toast to late suppers, my dear :toast: :hug:

:toast:

I've never had a MiL, she was pushing up daisies about six months before I met DH. When my FiL and SiL first met me, they LOVED me because they thought I'd make it big and get rich (I'm a lawyer, but before I bowed out due to disability, I always worked in the poor public sector areas, such as disability rights and domestic violence, which had been my life-long goals). Anyway, to make a very long story short, they realized I was of no use to their get-rich schemes, and it's been down hill from there. It's a real shitty situation...whether you're still married and trying to make a go of it, or trying to extricate yourself. My husband is so different from his father and sister, yet he still loves them. He's really caught between a rock and a hard place with them and me. And it's not just us. Our nephew and his wife are in the same spot.

Yeah, it's just fucked! Don't worry about it! We all love you here!

You're the best, mentalsolstice. :hug:

The solution to the MIL situation is to marry only at your "station". But my "station" is full of assholes. Oh well.

exactly what I thought of his mother several years ago. She and I were like oil and water. My MIL made Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond seem like a pussycat.

A person can only be pushed so far before they react and my MIL pushed me hard and long in the early years of our marriage. It was not one of my better moments when I blew up at him over her, but it was one of those explosions that was just waiting to happen.

I hope that you have her out of your life soon.

:hug:

Your husband must not have chosen his mother over you, and so there you are if not fortunate, then living with him as a wife. My husband has always put his mother first and it has been difficult. Suddenly, it's impossible! Say a small prayer that our house will sell and that I can move out, if you will. Economics keeps us together and it is miserable. Miserable.

I hope for the best for you and your kids so you can move on with your life.

No, my husband did not choose his mother, but it was very difficult.

I will be thinking of you and hoping that the house sells soon.

:hug:

Outlaws are wanted.
:+

Oh, lovely chimpsrsmarter with the beautiful new haircut, you made my night. Thanks! :rofl:

telling his mother what you think of him

My MIL and I don't get along and have been around each other in person maybe 7 times, if that. Not long ago I was on the phone with her and told her what I thought of her son. But I have my reasons for telling her that now. He may be my future ex-husband.

:toast:

and we pick on her, laugh at her and cringe at her,
but she is, after all, our mother.