Are there any former career moms here on DU?

Are you a woman who ended a career for marriage/family or both? Was it voluntary or involuntary (i.e. you had to move to join your spouse, etc.)? Did it affect your self-esteem in any way?

Let me share my situation: My husband, who before did fairly well as a software engineer, now does very well with his new job. I do not need to work. I used to have a career in New York, which I think I've mentioned in here before, but I had to leave that career several years ago when we moved to the Rockies. I now do not have built within me any interest to subject myself to the pretense of the corporate environment. I have every capability, especially now with a Master's, to rejoin the work force but I cannot stomach the thought. My writing has improved, and I'm sure the obvious answer is to concentrate on that... and I think academia is in my future. However, as I sit writing this I can't help but feel a bit blah. Displaced. Like I don't belong in a house with a working husband and no immediate career before me.

Are there any other married DU women who feel similarly?

I loved it.

I started working a part-time job at my gym last fall (I don't "need" to work either), partly for myself and partly to get my gym membership for free. It has morphed into far more hours than I had intended. I cut back from five half-days a week to four just a couple of weeks ago.

At this moment, I am contemplating one of two significant changes in employment, one of which could lead to a completely new career (as opposed to a pin-money job).

If you don't feel motivated right now to work on your career but do feel a need to be employed, why not try something completely different on a temporary basis - something that will help you mentally cleanse your career palate? Maybe a part time gig in a garden shop or bookstore. You'll find your path before too long. Give yourself time to take a breather - don't push yourself into anything you are not ready for.

could RetroLounge be hiring?

Actually I would love to do what RL is doing with his bookstore. We do not have much cash on hand at the moment. Maybe a future goal?

And kids? I suppose that comes with the turf of not having to work... eventually. I'll be 32 in June. Tick-tick-tick...

What career change are you looking at?

Maybe I need a bigger place? :shrug:

:hi:

RL

Perhaps you will. And a commuter train from Northern Colorado to Wisconsin. :D

and it's about 4000 sq feet. Perfect for a bookstore, cafe. Has a stage already for events. and living space upstairs.

:sigh:

RL

I believe you'll be there one day. Truly. :D Heck, I'll come over there and run your cafe for you.

:hug:

RL

By June of 2002, I had a toddler and an infant. :)

I am considering going for certification in personal training. However, I have also been unexpectedly offered a promotion at work, so I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

Exploration is possible and you never know where you might end up.

There are certainly groups in your area that need help. They may even be looking for someone with your educational background. Or see if any of the local public schools have programs where parents or community members can work as classroom aids.

Although successful and respected in my work, I absolutely detested the corporate world and was very much relieved when my family reached the point where I could stay home. It was entirely my choice.

I had the opportunity to really reflect on my priorities and ended up going back for a graduate degree in an entirely new field several years later. I am back to working on a part-time basis, but since I am self-employed it is doing something I want to do when I want to do it. I am a minister so most of my obligations are in the evenings or on weekends. But because I am not contracted full time I still have some weekends I can "play hooky" with my family.

I really enjoy being a stay at home mom for the most part. I do not feel under-appreciated at all. And even before I went back to school I had plenty of interaction with other adults so I didn't feel I was "wasting the degree."

http://www.brevardminister.com

And an interesting change in career.

I just got my MA in media studies... not too much to do with it, but aim for a PhD (I'm applying again for 2008.) This city, although very nice, is just too small to provide good labor for educated women.

Can I ask a personal question, though... what was your own relationship with your mom like? I ask because my mom had a few issues with being a mom. She was always so resentful for doing it. She'd always tell me that she wanted to be an interior designer but was told she was only meant to have children, etc. I think some of that rubbed off on me.

My mom dropped out of her sophomore year in college to marry my father. He was an army officer and about to be transferred. She went back when my sister and I were about four and finished her degree. I remember sitting outside one of her classrooms once when she was taking a test or something.

She was a music major and had a fabulous voice. Sang opera.

She stayed home with my sister and I until we started school and then pretty much worked in a variety of civil service jobs until we were in high school At that point she quit and become a real estate agent. The only thing she ever did with her degree was teach piano lessons briefly when I was quite young, direct a youth choir when I was in junior high and sing in community choirs off and on.

She never ever made my sister and I feel as if we or my dad had been instrumental in preventing her from following her dreams. My sister and I have talked about it and speculated what might have become of her if we hadn't been in the equation. But any twinges of guilt on my part were entirely self-inflicted.

We knew mom did not like the drudgery of her civil service jobs, but she never once complained that she could have done something else. We were very lucky in that respect. My sister is a working mom and I'm essentially a stay at home mom. And both of us are fully supported in our lifestyle choices.

It is a shame your mom's dreams were thwarted by social or family expectations. I'm really sorry some of that may have rubbed off on you. I've got to go with Joseph Campbell on this issue. "Follow Your Bliss." I'll add the Pacifist Patriot addendum "And Don't Worry What Anyone Else Thinks"

Good luck!

I hated the corporate world and didn't like any job where I was cooped up in an office.

I've been happy being at home raising three kids, building furniture, renovating my house, landscaping my yard, doing artwork. Happy, and really, really busy. :)

did you have kids before or after you stopped working traditionally?

oh, maybe two weeks after my first was born (LOL!). But, as soon as I held him, I changed my mind. We also didn't have any family to help care for him, so there weren't any attractive childcare choices.

It was really a struggle for us financially for a few years, but I don't regret the choice at all. However, it's difficult to find other Feminist moms who work at home. There is a certain amount of isolation that is tolerable only because I don't mind spending time alone. MN also has the highest percentage of mothers working outside of the home.

Have you done any work from home using your writing skills? I have a friend who has been working from home writing travel proposals for a large corporation. She has been doing it for ten years and was able to keep the job after moving cross-country. I know another woman who makes her living as a technical writer for a group of researchers.

My heart, however, is in fiction, and I have a hard time getting myself going just to do that.

the travel proposals doesn't enjoy it. I don't think she has any great desire to write fiction, but would probably like to do a more interesting kind of technical writing. The other writer I mentioned does find writing for researchers interesting.

I understand what you're saying. Art vs. commerce. Maybe being around people and collecting experiences would inspire you to write.

:hi:

I know a few SAHM's who write erotica and have some decent sales. A few not only write it but also record a reading which can earn even more money.

It's not for everyone but there is a market, much of which is going online.

I was the same as you, Writer--couldn't stomach it. I just didn't fit. (I had this awful tendency to tell the truth, which the higher-ups just hated.) And--get this--I was making my living as a writer! Dream job, right? WRONG.

Anyway, my DH got a better-paying job and kept telling me that I didn't have to work--we would be okay. I wasn't so sure--his job is better-paying, yes, but not really REALLY well-paying, if you know what I mean. He figured we could squeak by. I was so desperate in my job that I said okay.

I've been home with the toddler for about two and a half months now, and it's not too bad. I enjoy toddler-wrangling, but DH also encouraged me to freelance, and I've found that that takes a LOT of time, so I'm happy when he's in preschool or grandma has him (M-T-W usually but not always). Plus it's good to get a breather from the kid or you start fantasizing about selling him to the gypsies.

Financially things are a bit dicey. Turns out DH was a bit overly optimistic, and now that we've paid our taxes, our little (very little) cushion is gone, and I'm having some trouble paying the family bills. DH also freelances and has stepped up the number of hours doing that to get more income into the the house, but I feel guilty letting him shoulder the entire burden, so I did just apply for a part-time job (I'm getting freelance work here and there, but it's going to take some time to build up my client base enough that I have a steady income). If I get called for an interview, I've got some questions for them, because I won't be interested unless the hours mesh with the lifestyle we're trying to build and the pay is decent enough.

I guess everyone's situation is different. If you find yourself bored with being a housefrau/woman of leisure ;) , would you be interested in freelance writing? You don't even have to do that locally--the internets are a great place to find work (you just have to dodge the "please write spam for me" landmines).

Bookstores, even the mega chains, are a great idea for writers. I've worked in three different ones over the years (two independent ones and one chain store), and if you don't need to make a career out of it, it's great--you can help people in your area of expertise and hang with like-minded coworkers. Just don't let the customer-bastids get you down--but that applies for all retail.

he looks at me, his face smug because he believes women should stay at home, and tells me that I should consider staying home and writing and give birth to his grandchildren. (which, quite frankly, we've already discussed.) I'm sickened by his thoughts, and a part of me wants to get a job to spite that type of misogyny.

You are letting him win. Do what makes you happy, not your FIL. Chances are, whatever you do won't make him happy. Some people are like that.

Case in point. My MIL used to comment all the time about how it would be so great if I could 'help our **** (her son, my husband)' by making some money. Never mind that money wasn't the issue. She just didn't like me spending his money in any manner.

So, one day, just to bait her, I started saying that I was getting licensed in VA and had obtained an office to hang my shingle, yada, yada, yada. She went white. "who will watch the kids?"

Some people are just contrary like that.

Funny that when you proposed the alternative she "went white." :P

My FIL is, well, Mexican. He's also 71 and firmly believes a woman should stay at home with the children. My sister-in-law thinks it's just traditional Mexican values... my husband and I thinks there's also a bit of his personality involved. Either way, certainly his comment has gotten under my skin. I do feel "controlled" somehow.

That was a big concern of mine: After so many years of women fighting to be accepted in the work force, was I taking a giant step backward?

Then I had a run-in that was a lot like your conversation with your FIL--but with a chauvinistic-beyond-all-imagining coworker. He had already told my good friend at work that he doesn't think women should be in the workplace, that their place is at home. (Wait, let me check the calendar--yep, it's 2007...) Then, when word got around that I was quitting, he slithered into my office and congratulated me and said, "Yeah, you really should be at home with your child."

AUUUUGH he's lucky he's not just a grease stain on my office carpet after that one.

Bottom line, though, is you need to do what you want for YOUR reasons. Hard to tune out the relations, I know, but just focus on your and DH's wants and needs.

Are you a woman who ended a career for marriage/family or both? Was it voluntary or involuntary (i.e. you had to move to join your spouse, etc.)? Did it affect your self-esteem in any way?

Let me share my situation: My husband, who before did fairly well as a software engineer, now does very well with his new job. I do not need to work. I used to have a career in New York, which I think I've mentioned in here before, but I had to leave that career several years ago when we moved to the Rockies. I now do not have built within me any interest to subject myself to the pretense of the corporate environment. I have every capability, especially now with a Master's, to rejoin the work force but I cannot stomach the thought. My writing has improved, and I'm sure the obvious answer is to concentrate on that... and I think academia is in my future. However, as I sit writing this I can't help but feel a bit blah. Displaced. Like I don't belong in a house with a working husband and no immediate career before me.

Are there any other married DU women who feel similarly?

And, I'm glad I did. I don't miss it nearly as much as I thought I would, I now work from home in the non profit sector and I'm pretty pleased with it.

Thank you for sharing with me. :)

but I to can't imagine a corporate job. I anticipate going it on my own. In other words designing floor plans via the internet. The killer is that my ability to use the software is one thing, having and finding the right co. to maintain computer is another. I too will do anything but go back to corporate. The thought has been with me for a few weeks now. I too am in search for my new place.

Personally I don't value the corporate environment because I just feel like, once I removed myself, that its a soulless existence. My values dwell elsewhere.

I hope you find your new place soon!

weird that this is the question today, since I've been wondering the same thing recently. I have stayed at home since having my first child nine years ago, although I do substitute teach some, my heart is in writing too. I am currently trying to finish a screenplay (yes, I am stuck in the middle of it now) for a competition I'm entering and some days I just wonder...

What do you write?

on a non-fiction project. I am shopping two short stories but don't have anything published yet. It's hard to get myself motivated. This morning I got up to help my husband get ready (because he overslept) for his job. He leaves and I look at my dog and my cat. Nothing. It's such an empty feeling. I think a part of me feels useless. It's hard to grab my laptop and head to a coffee shop under those circumstances.

Have you published?

on your own work, giving yourself a goal to have something to show, and for
the company. Writing is such a solitary life.

interests, dreams and hobbies. Especially if money is not the issue. For us, my injury has strained our finances and so, i cannot do some things but, i have gone back to my art after abandoning it for over 20 years.

Do you ever experience feelings of uselessness? I don't mean by way of your injury, but because you're not bringing in an income?

because my husband was transferred to another state. Do I regret it? Sometimes, but not really, his job was more important.

after a couple of years here I returned to work, only lasted 3 months,
(long story - Mom got sick).... then we moved again. I have now been
"unemployed" for 5 years - minus the 3 months.
My husband makes a comfortable living, it is not necessary that I work. (I feel very lucky.)
I have gone round and round on this issue, finally I have decided that I
will just not work, unless it is doing something that I WANT to do.....
and I'm not looking for a job at this time.
I only have one child left at home (13 going on 17) and one in college.
It has taken me several years to feel comfortable with staying home - the
feeling that I am not contributing has been hard to shake. That being said,
I have now thrown myself into renovating our home, and enjoy my life very much.
I am now 52 years old and have declared myself a valuable person and that my
worth is not tied to a paycheck.
Life is good.

I'm almost 32 and still feel attached to a paycheck (somewhat) although I think I'm leaning toward the same choices you have made.

A feminist thought comes to mind as I explore this with other posters: Despite the women's rights movement, it seems that, systemically, that if a spouse is to stay home/leave the workforce because of family it's typically the woman, because normally the woman earns 2/3 of what the man earns. Her salary (in some cases) is less "crucial" to the financial health of the family. It's a little unnerving to me - I feel like I'm fighting the tide of inevitability here. That inevitability that says, "Sorry, but you're still just a woman. You'll stay at home. You'll get pregnant. You don't deserve the same dreams as a man." That's cynical, I know, but it's a thought that bothers me at times.

I was very much caught up in the big corporate life, I was an accountant in the Financial Reporting area of an international bank, reporting directly to the Board of Directors.

My husband, who was much more successful than I, was offered a great opportunity but we would have to move and I would leave my job.

For the first year afterward I had a real identity crisis, felt useless, like my talents were wasted, etc. Felt very ambivalent about my financial contributions to the marriage. After that, those feelings really settled down. I became much more involved with all of my family - local and extended. My husband's job involved A LOT of travel and I started going everywhere with him, around the globe. I used every trip possible to see my family around the US and every other trip as a cultural opportunity, a fantastic learning experience. My husband made me feel like my contributions to our families as a whole and our quality of life were priceless, much more contributory than a paycheck ever was.

Eventually, I came to see the world and my place in it very differently. Exposure to different cultures definitely influenced that. I became more involved in politics (duh!) and causes I care about. I take "for fun" classes all the time at the local colleges, attend lectures, visit museums, etc. I learned that life is soooo much more than what happens in a business office and we should all try to squeeze the most out of every moment possible. It's very precious. For too many years I was a non-stop working mother and now that looks like so much wasted time. But I HAD to work, I had no choice back then.

Within the last year, my adult son has become very ill. My grandmother is also elderly and I am her primary caretaker. If I had not been able to leave the corporate life behind me (especially in the mental sense), I would not be able to care for them like I do without them feeling like they are "putting upon" me. It is very beneficial to all of us that I am able to do so now.

Life is short. You have been given an awesome opportunity that very few people have available to them - make the most of it.

I love that you are able to travel so much with your husband - bravo!

I'm sorry that your son and your grandmother are both ill. They are very lucky to have you there to care for them. :)

I got tired of hearing about all the cool little things my kids were doing, in some cases, for the first time. At the same time, my job was becoming less and less satisfying. I got into broadcasting to do - guess what? BROADCAST!!!! I didn't get into it to write memos, fight for studio time, drive all over kingdom come and fight traffic all day, answer barrages of nasty emails from several levels up, and work a job that demanded at least 10-12 hours a day (OR MORE) while only being paid for seven-and-a-half (with overtime requests granted begrudgingly if at all). It was a thankless job whose demands continued to grow with little or no compensation to offset those demands, so it wasn't hard to leave. I do miss it - as far as going on the air is concerned. I miss that a lot. And I miss the camaraderie and the bad jokes and the people in the newsroom and in the field. But the actual on-air time wound up being about five percent of my average day.

So I took early retirement. Went home to the real "mommy track." And never looked back, really. I built a second more-or-less parttime career through writing, and enlarging upon activities I did with my kids and their friends - ie: crafting and other kidstuff (my original college degree was in studio art, so I tended to be an artsy-fartsy type anyway), and bead-making, polymer clay work, polymer jewelry designs, etc.

I'd suggest if you've zeroed in on something at which you're particularly strong, try to expand that into some sort of income-producing thing. Often THAT part of it starts through volunteerism. If you do it for free for awhile, and spread your expertise around so more people are aware of it, eventually, you'll start getting paid for it. And THAT starts slowly, too.

I miss broadcasting like crazy, but by now, I think I'm too old for it (they like 'em young, fully-energetic, not yet cynical, photogenic - no wrinkles! - and willing to work for pennies). Besides, I'm not interested in working that hard anymore - especially to be able to do something that I can only enjoy for about five percent of the work day!

My oldest is going off to college. My youngest is in high school and will soon be driving, so their intense need of me is on the wane. For all I know I may just wanna sit back and post on DU for the rest of whatever time is left to me, and thread a few beads on a few strings for people. I've come to enjoy NOT busting my butt since I retired. And who needs the stress anyway?

As far as - did it affect my self-esteem? No, it didn't. There ARE some cases where a little bit of me has mumbled (I want my life back...) at the times when I still don't have any privacy, no time to finish a project without being called away, no extra money because some kid needs something else, but that's fleeting (and I am a WORLD CLASS grumbler!). It's very fleeting. I'm just grateful they're happy, healthy, talented, doing well in school, with some really decent friends they hang out with, and they don't seem to have any self-esteem problems that I can see. And knowing everything involved in that "other" life, I really DON'T want that life back. And I feel pretty fulfilled now.

but well behind the scenes as a researcher/hopeful programmer. I agree, I think it helps to have that "other" career generating income. In my case, that would most certainly be writing.

Congratulations, by the way, on a successful run at staying at home. It sounds like you've truly found your place post-broadcasting.

I've followed this thread since you first posted it ....... but was smart enough to butt out. For a while .... but ......

It seems to me that what women back in the day fought for, under the broad banner of 'women's liberation' was not the right to work so much as the right to have **all** choices open to them. And that includes the right to stay home and be a professional mom/wife/caregiver/whatever-they-wanna-be.

It also seems to me that, over the years, this has been misinterpreted as suggesting that if you're not employed you're somehow worth less.

Ask a kid how much less she thinks her mom is worth.

Society has helped in perpetuating this twist on the original notion of what 'women's lib' (that sounds so quaint these days!) really means.

Bottom line .... whatever you and your family agree is right for you is the right thing to do.

Another thing, too ...... the notion of measuring your self-worth or connecting your identity to your job .......... *many* people do this, not just women. Look at almost anyone who has retired. Look at some business owner who sells the dry cleaner (or whatever) and just plays golf. That crap lasts a few weeks before it gets old. Why? Cuz he sold his identity along with her/his business.

Self fulfillment is what you want. 'Self' being the operative word.

I wish you nothing but happiness.

And yes, a more shrill element of feminism did take over after a while that did tend to denounce women who chose (note CHOICE) to stay at home. I think my mom, though, has a few emotional problems that supersede that phenomenon, however. She instilled a feeling of embitterment for having to stay at home. Unforgivable.

(each of which required a master's degree) in order to maximize my "mommie time" before my girls go off to college. For the past almost 3 years I've worked about 4-5 hours per day from my computer at home doing bookkeeping and CAD drawings for my husband's architectural business. This was an easy move for me, though, because I was very lucky to have a husband with an established business that was ready for another employee at the time. (Plus he's a patient boss :))

As for my self-esteem...it's not an issue, although it could have been if I had taken to heart comments like, "So, are you still just working for your husband? Whew! Who I work for is irrelevant as long as I'm happy and the bills are paid (I am and they are). My goals are to have a flexible enough schedule so I can drive my kids to all their functions and to be really there for them. I think I've met those goals - and my girls are doing great!

and quit several months after I married (for the second time) at age 34. I knew I wanted to have children and knew I could not possibly sustain a career requiring 60-70 hour workweeks, kids, a husband, a home. I had hit the upper range of pay for my job as an assistant administrator, and rather than look for a job as a COO (which I knew I'd leave if I got pregnant), I simply resigned.

My first son was born a little over a year later. We moved to a small town in MO when he was almost 2. After my second son was born 18 months later--and we knew we were done having kids--I decided to pursue my lifelong interest in the theatre and took up acting in community theatre. I also became active in local politics, and joined the choir of our church. All the time, I worked on my writing.

When my youngest was about two, I had a really serious bout of depression.
I missed my friends in Los Angeles, disliked the town where we were living,
and felt as though I was wasting my managerial talent. I saw a shrink for several months and developed a plan for coping with my circumstances.
Then my husband's psychiatric practice was threatened by one of the major employers in town, who decided to limit the hours that would be reimbursed
on the employee health plan. I had been pestering my husband to move, so we did. Unfortunately, we went from the frying pan into the fire, moving
to a place I did not choose and where I felt I did not belong.

I ended up even more miserable than I had been. I was able to do some acting, but not as much as I would have liked. I took a playwriting class, and
wrote a full play that ended up with two staged readings, but I've never been able to get it produced. After 6 years, my husband decided to build a small office on our property and the neighbors took us to court to stop us--after the city had given us a permit. We lost. My husband promised me we'd move to the place of my choice, and we ended up in Chapel Hill in 2000. I love Chapel Hill.

Three weeks after we arrived here, my Mom died, and two months later I moved my
90 year old father from California to a nearby nursing home. He died a year a half later.

When I look back on my life of the last 20 years, it has been a series of
major stresses. My working life--before kids--was easy compared to being
on call 24/7 to a husband and kids. When we lived in the midwest I had
both household help and childcare help in my home. But unless I was doing a play, I rarely felt creatively challenged or rewarded. There are days, much as I love my kids, that I think I would have been happier changing careers and not having children. Maybe that's a case of the grass being greener. It's hard to know.

Whatever you do, make sure that you develop a creative outlet for yourself, whether you're getting paid or not. Take time for yourself. Do everything you can to maintain friendships with other women.

Good luck.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I come from the accounting / finance world.
When I left my job, I was really interested in doing something with local theater.
I have no thespian skills whatsoever, but I am a heck of an organizer and financial manager.
I ended up volunteering at a community theater as a stage manager, box office operator, and doing some book work - it was a blast!
What a fun environment and they really needed someone like me. I think lots of us have skills local theaters need in volunteers.

Definitely check out your local artists communities.

good feelings about the value of my work) and when my son was born when I was in my late 30s it was quite hard to make first the adjustment to being superwoman (trying to work fulltime, and cook, and clean and keep my sanity) since it was much harder to have the kind of free wheeling, playing in a band for fun- type of life I had previously had. So after 2 years and a bit of the feeling that I just couldn't deal, I quit and have worked part-time in my practice since then. It was very hard at first since I was really burned out and had a hard time adjusting to the idea that I no longer would support myself with full-time work, and how much my identity was tied up in that. I gradually adjusted (my husband is a software guy who now makes 3 times what I used to make) and now I call my own shots, work mostly from home and have time to shlep my son around and do volunteer work at his school, plus other fun activities for me that I didn't have time for (and sorely needed) when I worked full time.

Every now and then I wish that I made more money, but I don't want to work full-time. I think we all need some work, some fun, and time to enjoy your offspring. And I have that. And I am very grateful. I worked more last FY, and it was good. But I treasure most my flexibility.

Hope this is helpful.

it was what I wanted to do. I went back 16 years later. I've never regretted the decision even though it put me back to square one. While home, I did a lot of community work and volunteered a lot while the kids were in school. I also took part time jobs in local shops that would give me "mom" hours. I've since gone back to work and now for a lot of reasons, retired. It's giving me another opportunity to reinvent myself. I look at these changes not as dead ends or ruts, but rather as opportunities to do something new and different.
It's all about finding your center. Good luck, I'm sure you can. Why don't you start freelance writing for the local weekly paper. It will get you more involved into your community and give you a chance to show off your considerable writing skills. You never know where it may lead. We could all be witnessing the birth of a new Anna Quindlen. :bounce:

I was able to find a new career, the kids turned out extremely wonderful, and it was the right choice for us.

That doesn't mean it is the best way for anyone else. Everyone has different circumstances.

But really couldn't do it. I was a very unhappy mom.
Fortunately, I'm a freelancer, so I went back to that. It's given me the flexibility I need. I really love to work. I love to bring in business. I love creating. I love the freedom of having my own money. I am not at all guilty about any of that. My daughter now is almost 7 and she's terrific.
Good luck figuring out your next step! That's the hardest part, in my opinion.

Fulltime PhD student currently, with plans to start a family this fall. Not exactly what you were asking, but the desire to start a family did play in to the decision to attend the PhD program. Aside from the classes and the minimal RA responsibilities, I am home a lot. An opportune time and schedule for me to have young kids.