Here's someone who really should get out of retail:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/298879012.html

I know there are plenty of annoying things customers do, but this is certainly one hateful, asshole cashier. There is no customer who will please him, because he is a miserable person. Here is some of his "advice" to those of us who keep him employed:

<snip>
--The Bitch
This is an umbrella term for a diverse array of predominantly female asshole customers. The Standard Bitch isn't trying to piss me off, it just comes naturally. It's a tone of voice, a look, or a non-response to my standard friendly greeting that makes you an asshole customer. I'm paid to ring up your shit, not deal with your attitude.

The College Bitch is generally a more ditzy kind of whore, one who is always friendly to the cashier, but displays her bitchiness in her conversation with others. A common College Bitch scenario: "Oh I'm fine, thanks." She turns to her friend, "So, is daddy going to pay for this stuff or is it going to be mommy this time?" This is always said with a sly smile on the face and a fistful of credit cards in the hand. The College Bitch is mostly a bitch because I HAVE TO WORK IN ORDER TO GO TO SCHOOL. Do you really need another pair of novelty-sized sunglasses, Paris? Do us all a favor and get on the pole already. We'd rather see you there now when your tits are still perky than later when you're saggy and your parents have cut off your stupid ass.

--The Kid with His Own Money
Jesus Hulkamaniac Christ, parents! Stop giving your kids money to give to me. I understand that little Timmy has to learn how to deal with money eventually, but please lets not play this little game in a busy store like mine. My job is to ring up your shit and get you out the door so I can ring up the next asshole and get HIM out the door. I don't want to wait for five fuckin' minutes while your snot-nosed little bastard tries to figure out that he needs to give me FOUR dollars when something is $3.95. I will not baby-talk your kid or help them in any way, and if you give me a nasty look because of that, I'll remember it and secretly break your shit next time I'm baggin for you.

--The Confused Foreigner
If you don't know how our money works in this country, what are you doing shopping by yourself? Every time I have to pick the correct change out of the pile in your quivering palm because you forgot that the little silver ones are 10 cents and the big ones are 25, I'm going to accidentally ring up something twice. The red bar is used to indicate separate transactions, by the way. Use it. Do not tell me that your Enfamil and Pedialyte were supposed to be on a different credit card as I am handing you the receipt for them. Oh, and your items cost a couple dollars more than the tag said because of a little thing called sales tax. Dumbass.
<snip>


Best of luck in the future, asshole. What company wouldn't be thrilled to have you on the payroll? :eyes:

I work with some people like this. I don't know what they think they're being paid for - simply passing items over a scanner and handing a customer a receipt is not worth the paycheck he's getting, no matter how measly it is (and in some places - like where I work - we're union and make a pretty decent paycheck).

No, he's getting paid to PUT UP WITH people. There's a limit, of course, but for the most part, the money he gets is for being polite and nice to people you might ordinarily want to strangle.

That's retail.

but all in all, it's dead on accurate.

people aren't allowed to rant anymore? nowhere does it say that he doesn't deal with the people listed, and it's still legal to put up with people and not like it, correct?

I know I've met some real fuckers while working retail, who pulled shit that would get them taken behind a building and beaten half to death if they pulled it with the wrong people who weren't being paid to deal with it.

:)

I asked if you really thought it was "dead-on accurate." So, college-age women who are more financially privileged than the author are automatically ditzy bitches and whores? THEY are bitches and whores because HE has to work his way through school?

Why the name calling because these women have more money? And, he admits, they aren't acting like b*tches to him. I don't get it.

A lot of people have more money than I do and can afford to do more than I can. I don't condemn them and call them names because of it. Again, I don't get it. What am I missing?

I worked retail for many years and put up with many, MANY annoying people. But I didn't categorize them like this or have such unbridled hate. That's kind of disturbing.

shit and with people who are nice to him (see Buddy). Screw that. He's an ass and I hope every customer he has today is a shit to him. Actually, I hope his manager finally catches on to his attitude and cans his ass. It's one thing to rant about a few things. Quite another to have a problem with every aspect of you job. :hi:

It almost felt like I had written it. Not quite my style, but close.

:thumbsup:

Especially, it seems, toward women:
"The College Bitch is generally a more ditzy kind of whore, one who is always friendly to the cashier, but displays her bitchiness in her conversation with others. A common College Bitch scenario: "Oh I'm fine, thanks." She turns to her friend, "So, is daddy going to pay for this stuff or is it going to be mommy this time?" This is always said with a sly smile on the face and a fistful of credit cards in the hand. The College Bitch is mostly a bitch because I HAVE TO WORK IN ORDER TO GO TO SCHOOL. Do you really need another pair of novelty-sized sunglasses, Paris? Do us all a favor and get on the pole already. We'd rather see you there now when your tits are still perky than later when you're saggy and your parents have cut off your stupid ass."

Bitch, ditzy, whore, get on the pole? Dayyum. :eyes:

corner here. :hi:

A real woman-hating asshhole.

I finally took an overseas trip, and for the first time, I was the foreigner who couldn't handle money. Sure, I can do math, but when the cashier told me the total... in Italian, I was stumped. My Pimsleur lessons were good, but when you're really out there, it all sounds different -- even the words I knew. One cashier had to call me back because I was walking away leaving 20 euros on the counter. The stuff just didn't look like money, so I had to condition myself to remember to pick up my change. Speaking of change, you don't just toss a few coins when leaving a tip. Three coins can equal six euros. That's about $8.

We're all stupid the first time we're the foreigner. Have a little understanding. The guys in other countries do.

I wonder how that guy would do in a foreign country since so many Americans seem to think everyone everywhere speaks English. :eyes:

take a look at your American change some time. Nowhere on there does it say "ten cents" or "twenty five cents", in numbers or words. Its "one dime" and "quarter dollar". VERY confusing to people who didnt grow up with it.

When I was in high school, we had a group of exchange students from Germany. They were all intelligent kids, but baffled by our change.

and still finds the change confusing. He says he uses plastic all the time because of that. BTW- the guy is a brilliant scientist and mathematician....

I want to find this guy so I can be the perfect storm of asshole customer. I hope he gets in a car wreck on the way home.

Judging by that attitude, you probably already are the perfect storm of an asshole customer.

Neat how that turn-around thing works, eh?

he said that in the longer article linked about asshole customers who come in and buy things right before close. I was mocking him...I don't want bad things to befall anybody.

I also think he has some points. Having worked in many jobs having to deal with customers, many people are very unpleasant to deal with. I am always nice to them, but I don't appreciate being treated like a moron because I have to work, and most people don't either. I think respect is something earned, and while a CSR is being paid to be nice, asshole customers can help contribute to the high turnover rate of service jobs, which makes the cost go up.

Although I'm not in retail, sometimes getting people out at closing time can be a chore.

Although I can say from personal record store experience back in the 80s that putting on "Song X" by Pat Metheny and Ornette Coleman always worked at chasing them out, screaming, with their hands over their ears.

:evilgrin:

"MacArthur Park" would have worked.

of the most cacophonic, mind-splitting "jazz" (I use the term loosely) that I have ever heard. Just riffs on top of riffs on top of riffs all about nothing.

Just think of a bunch of noise, with little trumpet noises running through the rest of it. That'll give you a pretty good idea. It's horrific.

And you're talking to someone who loves Miles Davis and Chet Baker and all the other groovy old stuff.

Thankfully the people there were very kind and helped me learn the money system.

1) talk on the phone and ignore the customer
2) hold conversations with other employees (or their friends) and ignore the customer
3) hold PERSONAL (as in intimately detailed) conversations in front of the customer
4) Don't look at the customer or acknowledge them with a smile or a hello.
5) Don't count the change back.
6) etc.,etc.

I was all cranky about this the other day and I realized that I must be becoming an old woman. As someone else said, they're not getting paid to swipe a barcode, they're getting paid to be polite. In the olden days when I worked retail we not only had to be polite we couldn't wear chipped up nail polish or chomp gum. We couldn't wear shirts that don't cover our stomachs (unless working at Hooters) and zmg! we didn't even have a register that told us the proper change to give back. Yeah, I'm definitely a crabby old bitch. Fuck that. A store is only as good as the people who work there and there's practically nothing I can't get somewhere else. I'm not spending my money at a place where the employees act like little shit bags.

So true! I encounter your #4 almost every time I go shopping. And God forbid they should have to figure out the change on their own! What an ordeal. :eyes:

none of us were ever taught how to make change because for as long as I've been alive there have been registers that tell you how much change to give back.

Given, I know how to make change. Although, I have lied about it...always because someone waits until the drawer is closed to say "Oh, I found $0.17" so they can have a dollar bill instead of change. Hint: I am not a key-holder. I cannot open the drawer except on transactions. I cannot have you standing there waiting for the next transaction to ring out...it's a security violation.

A corollary to this is my 8-year old cousin who doesn't know his phone number because it's always been in his cell phone. Hell, I had to know my phone number to advance from 2nd-grade to 3rd.

and it's probably more accurate when the register does it. It's inconsiderate on the part of a customer to try to make change after the transaction is complete. I'm not defending rude customers by any means but in the end it's the responsibility of the employee to put forth the greater effort in being polite.

Geez, this person gets bent out of shape because someone is only buying clearance items? Where's the beef there, that it makes the cashier's job harder because not everything is tagged for scanning? Definitely time for this person to get out of retail.

"Yes, Mr. Asshole Motherfucker, as a matter of fact I DO need 15 plastic napkin rings at twelve cents apiece. What the fuck is it to you?"

If you're nice to her/him, like the Buddy, he/she's going to drop your stuff on the floor. If you're talking on your cell phone you're going to piss him/her off as well. :wtf: Exactly what is the proper behavior in this person's line. I think I'd be talking on my cell too, even though I don't take calls while in stores, libraries etc.

We have a Walgreen on the corner here where all of the cashiers are grumpy. I told the one to have a good night, His answer? "Too late...already sucks." One time these two women were complaining about the little old man in front of me who was telling them how much he liked the manager; how good she was to him. When he left, they started slamming on him. I looked at them and said,"Jesus Christ girls, what are you going to say about me when I leave???"

It's like DUers are surprised that there's a great deal of simmering contempt in the average retail exchange!

Let's just get this out of the way, so that no one will be shocked or put out by this concept: if you are dealing with a person working retail, or a waiter/server at a restaurant, become secure in the knowledge that that person regards you with concealed contempt and hatred. This should not be any surprise, people! If you were stuck at some dead-end fucking job while all day long people bought products from you that you yourself can't afford on the salary that that retail place pays you, you'd get pretty fucking pissed off too.

Just deal with it, non-service/non-retail industry workers.

it was the assbags that I remembered though. And when I managed a restaurant, it was even worse - you'd see the same people making the same complaints so they'd get free stuff or extra service or just because they suck. It gets old. After a while you start to wonder why they return so frequently if they hate it so much.

Also, the one thing that really bugged me was when people acted like you were not human. Is it so hard to be nice to a stranger who is helping you?

All that said, I've met some awful servers too. Come on people, it's a two way exchange.

every Thursday where a friend of my sister was a waitress and encourage the kids to run around and hurt themselves for free food. Apparently the first time it happened they got free food and wanted to continue. The manager caught on pretty quickly and would be around to stop the kids after that. Then they stopped showing up.

... there certainly are a lot of truly vile customers out there.

I work in a casino now, and here are just a few of my favorites:

The "Dropper": The ones that will take handfuls of poker chips and simply drop them onto the desk, often accompanied by a smug grin and/or impatient body language.

The "I can do your job better than you": In my case, the ones that will bring poker chips up to my desk, except that before they actually allow me to reach them, they'll sit there and count them. And, needless to say, they get very angry if I decide to take care of another customer while they are in the middle of doing this. Then, they drop them right back into the rack, push them my way, and tell me how much is in there. Needless to say, these people are wrong about 50% of the time, often by a rather significant amount, and always look very annoyed with me when I tell them what the actual amount is.

The "I want what I want, and I want it now": Oh, it doesn't matter that there are five people in line ahead of you, because you need to be there now!

The "Don't understand the word 'no'": Best described in the following dialog.

AH: What kind of casino is this that doesn't have roulette/blackjack/no-limit poker?
Me: Any casino in Florida - it's because of state law.
AH: That's a stupid law. (imagine him/her looking at me like it's my fault)
Me: I agree.
AH: *irritated sigh*
Me: Well, can we...
AH: No. We're leaving. (one more angry glare)

And that's even before we get to the people that refuse to acknowledge your existence, no matter how friendly you happen to be, or the ones that try to tell you dirty jokes regardless of whether or not you actually want to listen, or...

Ugh.

Luckily, there are quite a few decent human beings. Some of them are even genuinely nice people. But my goodness, these people wind me up sometimes.

Most people I found were either kind or neutral, and perfectly fine to deal with as customers.

But man, the assholes really make the day go sour quickly.

Believe me, the world is full of asshole customers.

And I despise "The Buddy" - I despise him with every fiber of my being, whether I am the clerk dealing with Customer Buddy, or the customer dealing with Buddy Retailer.

If you are a Buddy, you suck.

I work at a magazine stand, and the Buddy customers I get here are the fucking WORST.

After a couple of years, I've mastered the art of carrying on a conversation with someone while simultaneously visualizing them dying in the most gruesomely painful ways possible.

"And I despise "The Buddy" "

I hasten to add, I'm not the Buddy. I sympathize with people in crappy, low-paying jobs such as retail workers and wait staff, but I don't try to be their best friend.

The Flea Marketer.

In a big box electronics store, an unassuming blue with a big yellow price tag just so nobody knows who I'm talking about, the prices are set by the company and non-negotiable. That doesn't stop a few from trying to bargain us down a few bucks or even as much as $100. If they get no satisfaction from me, then they move on to another salesperson who tells them the same thing. Then they ask for the manager, said manager tells me to go back and be firm about the price, but not having the balls hiimself to tell the cheapskate it's a no deal.

Haggling is for car dealers and flea markets. TV stores haven't done that since the 70s.

I can testify that I found some of the currency -especially the coins and the amount of notes I had to deal with -confusing. I also had problems with my credit card in the US. Believe it or not, it's very intimidating when you are dealing with an unfamiliar currency and you are on the spot trying to pay. I think I had a cashier like this one when I was in Boston -it was not a pleasant experience

Customer Who Only Wants Broken Things!

Oh, you guys are going to roll on the fucking floor over this one. A woman called me yesterday.

"I need some shingles. Is this the department I need to speak to?"

Yes it is.

"I need some shingles for a church."

We have shingles. How many would you like?

(Note: "this is for a church" is a danger signal--everyone who's ever told me they needed something for a church wanted it at a discount.)

"I need 160 squares of black shingles, they all need to be damaged so you'll sell them to me for half price, and I'd like them delivered free."

At this particular time, I don't have 160 square of UNDAMAGED black shingles in the building. That's 10 full skids and I have three.

In case you're wondering, half price on 160 squares is a $3420 markdown when they're $14.25 per bundle. The Southern Division Vice President can't approve a $3420 markdown. I'm not entirely sure the CEO can.

They always want it done for free or a big discount.They also tend to scopiopaths when it comes to what has been a contracted,always trying to expand or add more work to the contract but not wanting to pay for it.
Even if you can get a signed change order many times they will not pay it.Ever tried to sue a church? Good luck winning that one.

Wait until the fall.

At that time you'll see at least one report, maybe two, of a church burning to the ground. Of course, no one at the church will EVER know how it happened.

If you read the report, there will always be a notation that someone from the church was working on the roof the day before the fire. This is, of course, what caused the fire.

Here's the deal: There is a roofing material called APP--atactic polypropylene modified bitumen, or "rubber roofing." It is applied by at least two people. One of them is equipped with (this is no shit) a flamethrower. You use the flamethrower to heat the base of the roofing material until it melts, then use these huge steel rollers to laminate the membrane to the roof. If you fuck up, which is possible if you haven't ever done APP roofing, and put the flame to the roof deck, it will cause the roof to smolder--you won't notice it because APP puts off smoke and stinks whether you do it right or wrong--and in about a day the roof will catch fire.

Churches buy this shit because it's cheap, parishioners lay it because "how hard can it be?" and they burn the fucking building down. And then they say it's God's will.

What a jackass. Oh, and he can go fuck himself.

From the trenches on up to management. I can tell you that 98% of the people I dealt with were perfectly fine. But that other 2% was able to ruin, not only a day but sometimes a whole week. I ended up quitting a job due to an asshole customer (I was pregnant at the time, so I may have overreacted just a bit). I would go to customerssuck.com often to vent, and that release was a godsend. You would NOT believe some of the shit that people pull in stores. I'd been robbed, threatened, attacked, harrassed, flashed, shouted at, spit on, you name it. And I was a consistent winner of customer service awards.

The OP sounds like a typical young male college student employee. Doesn't care about the job, just there to punch a clock until they're done with school. I always did an extra long interview with this type because of the unreliability.

I worked retail and got "abused" by certain types of customer but never had most of the issues you had. Of course I worked in an upscale store that catered to rich professionals so I mostly got looked down at.....and by some really well known folk too...although some of the people you think would be snobs actually weren't (Ted Koppel nice, daughter Andrea not so nice)

In a grocery store (job I quit when preg) and video store (management, job robbed at 3x).

Only famous person I saw was Tom Savini and his daughter. He's a great guy, real nice, but his daughter was a huge pain in the ass (SPOILED), but I knew that from babysitting her as a kid (my claim to fame, woo frickin hoo).

As I said, 98% of the customers were fine, some were evn great, people I looked forward to seeing. But that 2% is enough to ruin it all. I will sell my organs before I EVER work retail again.

Cashiers really have this degree of contempt for their customers?

It's nothing personal though.

I worked in retail for a long time and felt a loyalty to try to keep the brick and mortar stores open, but after being ignored/abused one too many times, I now do a lot of my shopping online. If the big chains want to complain about how much business they're losing to the internet, they need to start training their cashiers to display at least the minimum of politeness.

Someone ought to do the planet a favor and strangle him.

certainly hope he isn't into guns, unfortunately some people do take out their assholery on retail persons and wait staff--in other words, people who can't fight back.

To me a litmus test of a person's character is how s/he treats workers such as wait staff.

You know--the customer he expects all of us to be, apparently. :eyes:

what does it say that so many people assume a guy wrote this?

there's also this:

"Do us all a favor and get on the pole already. We'd rather see you there now when your tits are still perky than later when you're saggy and your parents have cut off your stupid ass."

If a woman wrote this, and I would bet not, she must really hate herself too.

He has to put up with these things, and that doesn't mean he has to like it. Who would? Anyone in retail will run into obnoxious customers and reaches a breaking point. There are a lot of demanding people out there in the U.S.

Whoever said "the customer is always right" must be bankrupt.

When he is in a better mood later, these same things will not bother him as much. Anyone working with the public in any capacity is going to have days like this.

I think if everyone was forced to work a service-sector job for 6 months the world would be a happier place, with people treating each other with dignity and respect.

Most customers are unmemorable. A few are nice. A few are asses. It's easiest to remember the asses.

I had a few problems here and there with customers, sure, but for the most part, I got along really well with the customers. I even became friends with quite a few of them over the years.

But - I don't miss it, especially in December. :D