Do you talk to people in wheelchairs?

Ever notice how some people don't speak to a person in a wheelchair? Or a disabled person in general? I was in Target the other day and an elderly man using a walker fell when he got off the escalator. Several people stopped to help his wife help him up and then a store employee rushed up and said to the wife, "Is he okay?"

Now the guy was standing right there. Why not ask HIM if he was okay? I thought it was really tactless and rude but I've noticed that with people in wheelchairs, too. A lot of people will speak to the person with them, rather than the person themselves.

That just seems so disrespectful and rude to me.

:P

Of course I do.

:P

:evilgrin:

:sarcasm: I have a very good friend who is in a wheelchair
And I talk to her all the time

on several occassions in restaurants waitresses have asked my companions what I wanted instead of asking me. And on one occassion the waitress asked if I needed my food cut up for me.

I wasn't in a wheel chair. That was when in my last period on forearm crutches.

Yes, people with disabilities are apparently invisible and/or too retarded to speak for ourselves.

:P

Yes, my breasts are so much more feminine than yours. :P

cat





Lionesspriyanka

:P

:)

Yes, I'm a kitten and you're a lioness. :P

I really, really hate rudeness. I work retail and I don't find it any more difficult to make eye contact, smile and say hello to someone in a wheelchair or on crutches or with an obvious disability than I do anyone else.

I think some people actually fear the disabled. Like it's catching or something. :eyes:

(but only for short periods of time) I'd definitely love to share it with some people, just so they could find out first-hand what it's like. There are people out there who could definitely benfit from learning something.

This was back in the 70's. Wheelchairs were provided for people to use so they could see how difficult it was to navigate. Pretty sobering experience I've never forgotten. Even places that were supposedly wheelchair accessable can be an incredible obstacle and of course, wheelchairs are only one area of disability.

I used to blindfold myself and teams of people for 24 hours. We were all briefly taught how to use a white cane, and we were all provided with an aide to assist us so we didn't get into too much difficulty.

Very few people managed to stick with it for the whole 24 hours.

I'd love to see more people doing things like this on college campuses.

I'm sorry, Thom.

that people are raised to act that poorly. But there's no lack of bad behavior in the world. :(

Reminds me of a recent trip I took with my parents.

As we were going through airport security, my dad, because we were in a hurry, forgot to put his carry-on on the conveyor belt.

The airport employee noticed, and said, in the most condescending voice, as if he were speaking to a child, "Oh, sir, it looks like you've never flown before. We have to put our carry-ons through the machine."

My dad, a doctor, BTW, so clearly not an idiot, let it slide and said, "Oh, okay," with a smile on his face.

Honestly, if I could have got away with it, I would have slugged that airport fucker right in the throat.

I think people think it is kind of like catching "The Gay". I think some people think that if they talk to a disabled person, they might catch the disability themselves.

It's because their thoughts never make it past "there's something wrong with that person." At that point all rational thought shuts off and they think that everything is wrong with us.

Friends who are blind have it happen to them more than anyone else I've ever known. People treat them as if they're deaf and stupid too.

parents "don't stare" or "don't ask questions" when you encountered someone who was disabled. I guess the theory was that if you called attention to the fact someone might be embarassed. My dad was blind and my siblings and I came into contact with a lot of disabled persons due to some of the organizations he belonged to so we never had that problem, but many of our friends did, young and old alike.

I'm not very nice about such things.
\Oh well.

;-)

:sarcasm:

The hardest part of being kind to all people is understanding the innumerable layers of fear that so many people nurture and how that infects their everyday interactions with other people. People are scared of people in wheelchairs because they don't want to imagine being in their state....When FDR said there was nothing to fear but fear itself, it had a bigger meaning than just the economy....

I spend my life imagining what it would be like to be in other people's shoes. I hope it allows me to have at least a little understanding of their point of view and some compassion for their problems.

But I always was a little strange. ~sigh~

they talk to the person in the chair like they has limited brain function. Speaking slow and loud, it's demeaning and if anything, shows the speaker has limited brain function.

Talking to them like they're six years old. Until I know someone has trouble understanding me, I'm going to speak to them like I speak to anyone else.

One's sense of empathy makes one feel pain, so one avoids the person in order not to break down and cry.

Me, I actually have to make a conscious effort to shut down all this and get to the matter at hand as if the person doesn't have any distinguishing traits -- ex. getting the needed info from the customer's IT guy who's in a wheelchair. I daresay I succeed.

Just in case you're wondering, the IT guy story is real. Had a car crash at the age of (IIRC) 26. :cry: I had to refrain myself not to break down in tears and hug the guy instead of asking him to create a VLAN or liberating an IP address or whatever.

And I'm straight.

Except that by sparing yourself your feelings, you end up hurting the feelings of the very person you feel sorry for to begin with.

Put yourself in the IT guy's shoes - if that were you, would you want people to look at you with pity all the time, thinking of what you can't do or would you want them to see what you're actually capable of?

I'm not disabled but I think if I was, the worst thing wouldn't be my disability - it would be the way others' perceptions about me changed just because I was.

But I make a serious effort not to show it. It can be hard. But I think it is more disrespectful to ignore them than to get upset.

An illustrator I work with lost the use of his legs in a cycling accident years ago. Not a lot we'd get done if I didn't friggin' talk to him.

I wonder if it's a "there but for grace go I" thing, and some people subconciously avoid direct contact the same way a lot of people won't make eye contact with homeless folks, just because facing it would force them to countenance the possibility of such a thing becoming of them? :shrug:

so.

Which is ironic, since I'm handicapped. I've been in a wheelchair. I've used a walker, crutches, cane, and the ever-present artificial leg. So if anyone should be comfortable talking to other cripples, it should be me.

I understand how people feel when they're uncomfortable around other handicapped people. What makes NO sense is that they're uncomfortable around ME.

:sarcasm:

She's the boss.

Talk to them? Hell, I flirt with them (no, not the boss :-) )

Yes, I do, all the time. I'm always aware of people in chair and motorized scooters in store. I always smile and say hello to them.

.. and it is amazing how many people would not look at me directly but I'd catch them out of the corner of their eyes peeking to see what the issue was. It was obvious I had an accident because of the casts on my legs but people still acted like they were going to catch what I had :eyes:


I loved this one woman who came up to me and asked me if I got hurt skiing.. LOL She was a hoot and couldn't figure out why both my legs were broken. I didn't mind her asking because she was one of the few people who didn't freak out about my condition.

But, to answer your question - yes I do - even if they're hard to talk to such a person with cerebal palsy. On this inside they're just like the rest of us.

I think people are TRYING not to be rude, and don't want to make you feel uncomfortable by staring. I remember gettting a similar reaction when I got my wisdom teeth pulled and I was walking around with a swollen face. People don't want you to feel uncomfortable or self concious, so they try not to look or bring attention to you.

A lot of what we do in public, socially, is instinctual. We don't notice the level of eye contact and amount of conversation we have with strangers UNTIL we are forced to think about it (in the presence of someone with a wheelchair). Then we get self concious...and in an attempt to not seem rude, we mistakingly act different...and get perceived as rude.

She was a TON of fun to be around, drunk or sober. And a damn good Friend.

So I don't really have many conversations with people in wheelchairs. I guess the last time I did was at the university when I was in an elevator, and that was only a "hi, how are you" type conversation I have everynow and then with strangers.

They aren't invisible...I mean, people in wheelchairs are quite noticeable. I don't go out of my way to avoid eye contact or anything though, like a lot of people might. Maybe people feel like they are being rude if they look at people in wheelchair and are afraid to be caught staring. I don't know.

My son has developmental disabilities, so I am
very aware of the fact that disabled people are just
that-people, with feelings and needs like us.

Thanks for posting this.

:hi:

It's a part of my daily job so I'm very aware of it outside of work. I also spent time in a wheelchair a couple of times, once due to a broken leg and later due to a break in my foot. Even tho I know they were concerned, it was uncomfortable to be related to mostly on the basis of my temporary disability.

talking down to or about someone like they were a little kid...it's pretty inhumane if you ask me

I mean, gosh, it's not like they're people or anything, just chairs with bones attached.

:eyes:

:rofl:
Oh..should I be laughing?
Oh dear.

They scare me.
But then I remember that I am a person.
And I think, "Oh, shit. Now what?"

You all are KILLIN' me on this thread!!:rofl:

it is an occupational hazard;)

I'll tell you what else, sometimes my husband uses an battery operated wheelchair. (He has MS) He uses it for long walks or going to the market, stuff like that People in crowds are more or less inconsiderate to anybody else including people in wheelchairs. "EXCUSE ME" He says. People move. They don't look at him though, or mutter "oh sorry" They seem surprised he expresses himself forcefully. Or they look guilty. People are a trip

One of my best drinking buddies is in a wheel chair. He was born with spina bifida (sp?) but that hasn't stopped him from being a total liquor pig. About two years ago we were completely wasted in this bar when he fell out of his wheel chair. I tried to hoist him back up in his chair, but because I was very drunk I ended up falling on top of him instead. We were rolling on the floor laughing much to the horror of the other patrons and bar staff. They cut us off and called us a cab. We were also asked to never come back. C'est la vie........

Q

Series...He's wheelchair/bed-bound. I'm used to it. :)

What if it's contagious?! :eyes:


Kidding aside, I had a cousin who, before his very untimely death, was a quadriplegic. I learned when I was a young kid that people inwheelchairs are people too.

Here he is on closing night of his spring play with the roses and baby sheep we gave him as a gift (the play was Once Upon a Mattress) :7

if there's a reason I should be talking to them. I don't just go up to anybody in a wheelchair and start talking to them just like I don't go up to people not in wheelchairs....;)

Had one used to come see all of us once a week...vet...nicest guy ever. New girls would ignore him. Dumbasses.

I usually do on the street,etc. Not in a patently obvious I'm-trying-to-be-pc way; either. Hate people like that.

I usually will look at them and talk to them just like I would someone who wasn't in a wheelchair.

:shrug: