Some stupid stuff that's happened in my little town recently:

You know, some things about small-town life are pretty attractive. For example, it's really beautiful here. And folks are largely nice.

And then ... :rofl:

ITEM: Apparently Thursday night after the bar closed, a man on his way back to his hotel room (where he lives, I should point out) decided to kick in the door of an office supply shop (the only public fax in town, BTW), where he proceeded to take a dump in the toilet (leaving the seat up and unflushed) and pass out. Upon awakening to discover he was not home, he went home, leaving behind a perfect boot print on the door as well as his numbered room key. Small-town cops delighted with forensic evidence.

ITEM: Local past-his-prime, aging-poorly former extreme athlete went to the hospital Friday night, as he got drunk, found his old motocross bike and varoomed out to the kids' BMX track by the school. Apparently he rather misjudged a jump and fell, piercing his ball sack with a footpeg.

ITEM: Town is still reeling from the first shooting within town limits in 15 years. Apparently roommates headed home after the bar closed to their apartment, which they share with one of them's girlfriend. A common way to pass the time seems to have been to shoot each other (and the girlfriend) with BB guns, while drinking. All went relatively well until one night when Dipshit A produced a .22 pistol, handing it to Dipshit B. B points the weapon at A's tummy, and pulls the trigger. Amazingly everyone survived, proving Darwin wrong. Further, it took two days out of the hospital before the victim got pulled over for his third DUI; the shooter only made it 24 hours before being arrested again for driving without a license.

And so it goes. :D

:evilgrin:

:rofl:

get thee to the DUzys....

You guys better be careful
It seems the bar/alcohol is the common factor
to all these stories!!!!
They might just close it.....

:)

Sounds like there is never a dull moment in Robbville

:hi:

lost

Footpeg through the happy sack... I feel his pain.

handle bars, foot pegs and other relatively
sharp objects is surprisingly painless.

It is rather a creepy thing to look upon though.
Especially for bystanders and newbie doctors in
emergency wards.

After seeing my righteously perforated scrotum
the 20 something intern said, "Oh dear. Excuse
me, I think I'd better have a talk with the surgical
resident."

A word of caution though if the peritoneum
is pierced there's a danger of septic peritonitis
within half an hour.

No sarcasm in that statement whatsoever.

Redstone

If it had, it would be the product of "growth." ;)

America is still strong as long as we can tell these stories, shake our heads slowly, and of the protagonists say "Well, he's doing the best he can, God bless 'm." :D

he's just like his Uncle Charlie. You remember Charlie? He got hisself killed falling under the tractor one harvest cuz he was trying not to spill his beer when they was climbing up outa the ditch out on 278."

"yeah, I remember that. What year was that? the year it flooded real bad?"

"Nah, it was the year the High School went the state championships. Remember?"

"oh yeah!! and ain't is sad about Billy. We really thought he had a shot for a scholarship up in Capitol City from that."

"Yeah, but then he knocked up Jenny and he's stuck down at the Chevy dealer, poor SOB"

Yup, I live there too :rofl:

:7

...except that it didn't prove Darwin wrong in any way, shape or form. But they're great stories nonetheless

This guy had been arrested for public drunkenness and while seated in the back of the police car he whipped "it" out and proceeded to pee all over the interior of the police car.
I was amazed that 1) He wanted a jury trial and 2) He was charged with felony vandalism.

I didn't get seated on the jury because either I looked like I would see nothing WRONG with peeing in a cop car or I looked like I would send him to prison.