What's it like to live in the suburbs?

I recently visited friend who's staying with his parents out in one of those new subdivisions where all the houses are new, big, "McMansion" homes. Very "opening to Edward Scissorhands" was my thought when we pulled up to the house. The drive out was odd. I hadn't been out that way in a few years and the last time I was, there was nothing between my city and where these houses are. Now, there are giant movie theaters, huge stores, huge chain restaurants--and everything is new. Huge, boxy, and new. Not new, but "NEW!"

I live in the city, and though I grew up in a suburb, mine was very near the city proper and more like an old factory town with more "city-like" qualities than the place I was at the other day. I've always looked at these new developments with disdain--who needs all that bigness, all that buying, all that everything. But as more of it springs up, I'm starting to wonder about my perceptions. I guess I'm just used to thinking that the city is where it's at, but maybe it really isn't at all anymore.

So. In an effort to understand this, I want to know: If you live in a place like that, why? What do you like about it? Do you think all those stores, restaurants, movie theaters, etc. are necessary (as in, is their existence supported/used by you, your neighbors, etc.)? What to you do all day/weekend? What's it like to be around all that clean, newness all the time?

I'm not asking this to judge or anything. It's just such a foreign way of life to me and I'm interested in finding out what makes people want to go there and stay there, because it keeps growing so there must be something to it.

Thanks.

I live in suburban Montgomery Co, MD. For what I do, most of the jobs are located in these NEW type of suburbs and traffic here is so bad the closer to work I can be the better. I had one job last year where it was only 13 miles from my house but it was a 30-45 minute one way commute depending on when I left for home or to work. I like having the restaraunts and theaters that I do go to on weekends. My one big complaint is that I love to go out dancing and there aren't many night clubs close to me that you can do that. I wouldn't call this newness particularly clean either. I am lucky though. I live next to a State Park so I get a little woodsy feel right around my house, though all you have to do is drive about a mile and its back to suburbia.

I am at the very edge of development until you reach a State Park, and then, The Montgomery County Agricultural Preserve, which is rural. So, I can get into the car and within three minutes it appears as though I am in rural Tennessee, well, except for the numerous jets landing at Dulles and National....

The county has almost a Million residents. There are two downtowns, Bethesda and Silver Spring. There is a Performing Arts center/Concert Hall (Strathmore Arts Center) at which the Baltimore Symphony, The National Philharmonic Orchestra and numerous world famous soloists perform. It is on a subway line and parking (and acoustics) are far better than at the Kennedy Center in downtown DC. We have good professional live theatre and good restaurants.

You can cross the Potomac, and see pretty much the same thing going on in Fairfax County, VA. Arlington is a suburb, but has clubs and dancing.

So, I can get the illusion of Rural America, yet there are seven big grocery stores, two Home Depots, Two Targets and a crap load of stuff to do within a 15 minute drive - it just depends whether I turn left or right when leaving my development.

I've lived most of my life either in the DC or New York Metropolitan Areas and I can say that New York is the greater city (by far) but that DC has the better suburbs.

Maybe the bottom line is that the 'Burbs around here are like a city, but with better parking.

Olney used to be one of the last burbs before hitting the country. Our community still has a small town feel while still having access to all the culture and conveniences of DC and more developed parts of MoCo.
This weekend is our town parade, car show, watermelon seed spitting contest, bike ride and fireworks.

There was a Drug Store with a Soda Fountain, A tiny Grocery Store, Finneyfrock's Blacksmith, and 108 and Georgia Avenue were both 2 lane roads with a blinking red 4 way stop at the intersection. The Post Office occupied the same space as a Feed Store. But the first shopping center was soon to open, and then came Giant, and then Roy Rogers. and Carvel.....so the tiny grocery store and the corner drug store and soda fountain disappeared.....I liked going to the Hines Hatchery back then to see all the chicks hatch....

there were no townhouses then.....just Tanterra, which we called "plywood village" We lived in the development on the corner of Bowie Mill and Cashell Roads (Cashell Road was a dirt road in them there days) when it was brand new....I went to Redland Middle School in its first year of operation.

I was 11 when we moved there.....

I am sure you know Montgomery Village right? Not that far from you...I moved there in 1973, and there was ONE traffic light in the Village. Lakeforest Mall was a lake and a forest (I still remember the "Save Lake Walker" bumperstickers) and the elementary school I went to (Whetstone Elementary) was next to a large farm with tons of cows..in fact there were a couple of times we couldn't have outdoor recess because the cows had gotten out of the field and were wandering around the playground. There was even a Purina Feed and Farm Supply store (with silos too) near old town G'burg...ah nostalgia.."Monkey" county sure has changed hasn't it?

I used to go to see plays there at the Olney theatre! And I used to teach dance class (line and swing) for the County Rec dept. at Rosa Parks middle school. It just is not a terribly convenient place to get to for me..going cross county is a pain in the ass for me sometimes.

of "moving up" by not living in the city. See, look, we have a best buy and an olive garden and a mall etc etc. There's no need to be in the city to get all these great things. There's this pervasive idea that the city is dirty, for the lower classes. And look at the size of our big boxy home, you wouldn't get that in the city, though I've found that the size of mcmansions is mostly wasted space "Giant foyer!!! Giant kitchen/dining/family room!!" (I like the idea behind big open family space, but the whole room division thing serves a purpose in homes that do not have whole house AC etc). The taxes are lower (but you don't have museums, parades, sidewalks, police forces, street lights, community festivals/groups/activities, large park systems, a large library system, public transit, etc etc). You don't have to know your neighbors, and space equals wealth.

I don't get the whole suburban life thing. I spent some time as a young kid living in the suburbs in Texas, and I hated it. When my family moved to Pittsburgh, I wasn't sure I'd like it, but I love this town, and I love living in the city.

i'm not talking about "perceptions," i'm talking about gunplay either witnessed by myself or actually aimed into my home

some cities are simply unsafe and it is not "perception," it is reality, and new orleans pretty much is at the top of the list by far, your chances of being a victim of a crime of violence are hugely out of proportion for a population of its size, true since the 1980s and even worse now since the storm, the crack epidemic and the gangs are not controlled and haven't been for over two decades

cities that have actually cleaned themselves up, like manhattan, are usually out of price range of "real" people anyway, so it pretty much leaves the suburbs for the most realistic combo of safety and affordability for "real" people with "real" (non six figure paying) jobs

there's not much of a 'city' in which to live, anyway, and the people are mostly stored in suburbs of one kind or another. I think the same is true of many cities in the Southwest, including Los Angeles (the mother of urban sprawl) and even San Diego. There's certainly massive sprawl in many other parts of the country -- the Dallas-Fort Worth, Atlanta, and BosNYWash megalopolis areas leap to mind -- but I think the West is where it really began to become apparent and where it's still perhaps most rampant.

having been priced out of Chicago in terms of both the purchase price of a condominium and real estate taxes. I got a lot of condo for the money, and the real estate taxes are affordable. The downside of that is that the schools suck, but since I don't have children, I don't need quality schools.

It's an older town, celebrating its centennial this year :D with a lot of housing from the early part of the century. My building is 40-odd years old and very solidly constructed. There is some new construction, but it is mostly townhouses. This definitely is not a McMansion-type community. I think the tallest building in town is maybe eight stories.

There is some big box retail on the south end of the town (Wal Mart and KMart in the same shopping center), but they help with keeping the real estate taxes down. Then there are the cemeteries....this town has about 14,000 live residents and 590,000 dead ones. Happily, they are on the other end of town from me.

What priced me out of my old neighborhood on Chicago's far north side was the fact that condos in rehabbed buildings where you maybe had to park a couple of blocks away were going for upwards of $250,000!!! Then there are all the million dollar plus condos that are being built. :wtf: do all the people with $$$$$ enough to buy them come from? Because it certainly isn't me.

*sigh* Quiet. A little artificial. A lot artificial. A bunch of nosy neighbors, who don't even let you walk around the neighborhood without having to stop and talk about lawn care. *sigh*

But, I don't like the congestion of city life. Nor, do I care for country life (not in Texas, anyway). All I really want is a house on a hill, over-looking the pacific, with few neighbors...or, neighbors who mind their own business...and don't expect me to go to their Tupperware parties. This is my dream.

Sounds a lot like Plano. I lived there for a short time before moving here to Highland Park.

If I had lived there any longer, I would have had to buy a Lexus or BMW SUV to blend in.

...when it grew from 18,000 to 56,000 I moved.

LOL! I know what you mean about the Lexus or BMW SUV's. :hi:

everywhere you turn, there is a new development being built. The new Legacy Village development in Plano is very nice, I even considered buying a townhouse there, but they wanted $475,000 for a 1300 sq ft. townhome. For the price, I expected a little more privacy than what they were offering.

Have you ever visited Prestonwood Christian Academy in Plano? I had to go with a friend to drop of his daughter and my god I've never seen so many SUV's. :o

I love Frisco, HATE HATE HATE 121 though. lol. Stonebriar is one of my favorite malls to go to, reminds me of a toned-down version of the Galleria, but I only go during periods where there aren't many people. The holidays were brutal there.

Plano is where I lived in Texas!! Granted, we lived in the not so nice part (we were poor), but McMansions were just across the park from us, and we used to ride our bikes through all the subdivions being developed at the edge of town (which is probably nowhere near the edge of town, now, this was 20 years ago).

well then even the native Ohioan in me has to admit that Pittsburgh is an upgrade for you!:rofl: :hi:

Imagine Texan pre-teen girls in 1987 attempting to do valley-girl speak with their texan accents (big hair Ya'll, even on 10 year olds!!!) and people will understand why Pittsburghese just didn't seem all that bad to me! I had a thick texan accent, but now you can only tell when I'm drunk.

you would be amazed at the transformation. It's all about nodes there. Major bucks are being spent on planning, zoning, and developments. I think I read an article where the average home on the west side of Plano averages 4,000 sq. ft. and the average household income is around $165,000 a year. People love their big homes.

I would have loved to see what Plano looked like 20 years ago vs. today.

" ...and that's the hardest part. Today everything is different; there's no action... have to wait around like everyone else. Can't even get decent food - right after I got here, I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce, and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I'm an average nobody... get to live the rest of my life like a schnook. "

when it was just starting to get over-built. Today it is like grid-lock. Their homes are big and beautiful, but the people were just miserable. Since it takes two incomes to support those McMansions, all the kids were in daycare. When they were home, all the people did was work in their yards. I thought it was a really shallow, boring place. We moved out to the country... but alas, now the McMansions are encroaching on us again.

I've lived in cities, suburbs, and a rural area. One bad thing about living in the country is that you have to drive everywhere! Nothing is within walking distance and there is no public transporation. It really is a matter of how you want to spend your time, money, and energy.

since the only thing that's there most of the day is the dog.

I grew up in a new suburb where all the buyers where young families, so there were tons of kids your own age to play with. We had big backyards that all connected (there were no fences allowed). So a parent (back then) could let the kids out after school, and they ran around until dinner. The smaller ones could stay on the block without crossing streets, ranging from yard to yard. After dinner we rode our bikes all over the neighborhood and play games until dark.

Now that parents are so paranoid and afraid to let children go outside unchaperoned, I don't see the point. They may as well live in a city -- the kids aren't allowed to go anywhere that's not an official Play Date or organized sports activity, and what fun is it to play in your back yard alone?

We live in an old mill town right outside a big city, and it's the best of both worlds. Wild life in the backyard, and the city 20 minutes away.

It'll do for now so the kids can go to school. But once they're grown, I'm heading out -- either for a cabin in the hills or a small bungalow near a gulf beach.

Life here is like living in a commercial. McDonalds, Burger King, Wendys on every block. Applebees, TGI Fridays and Olive Garden. Target, Walmart, Home Depots everywhere.

If you like to shop, the suburbs are a great place to live.

i work out west of Milwaukee, in that next county, and just driving thru there sucks out your soul...

I just moved back INTO the city, although Tosa was really an urban suburb.

:hi:

RL

The suburb I grew up in was an urbany suburb too. I was out in one of the far away suburbs the other day--Sussex, if that even counts as one, but I think these days it does--and it was so different and weird. We pulled up to the house and all around there were people our age (28) toolin' around on roller blades, with dogs, with babies along these perfect little streets with perfect little names...I don't know. I just don't think I could do it. Not any time remotely soon at least.

And hello to you. :hi:

With train connections to and from the city and nice restaurants, etc. I find it acceptable, though I (we) hope to move back into town when we become empty nesters.

I could never live in a cookie-cutter subdivision. That seems weird.

They drove everywhere. To their work, to their kid's schools, etc. Their lives seemed very kid centered to me. Kid's baseball game, kid's play group, kid's afterschool class. Their lives seemed very organized and regimented. They did a lot of those "Tupperware" and "Pampered Chef" kinds of things. They did a lot of family vacation sort of things. They never, or only rarely, went to the theater, to hear live music, or to a museum. Honestly, hearing them describe their lives is what turned me off of the whole idea of having a family. I really do want to have kids, but not if I have to have them like that, and give up everything -- art, music, culture -- that to me are what make life worth living.

We saw "Hansel and Gretel" when she was three, and later "Magic Flute" and "Babes in Toyland". Later, when she was in junior high, we saw "Porgy and Bess".

She's learned to appreciate all kinds of music.

There are sidewalks, we are minutes away from a great park along a river. We have a backyard for the children and animals. I can smell the dirt and plants when I go outside.
I've done big city living in another country and hated it. Bus fumes, the smell of big city exhaust. Yuck. The children couldn't run outside the apartment and play in the dirt, just cement. I couldn't smell nature at all. When I returned to my hometown in Oregon, I could smell the grass, dirt, pine trees, etc. Boy, did I miss that.

Yes, there are weeds to pull and neighbors to talk to. I wouldn't change a thing.

:hi:

The reason suburbs exist is to provide affordable housing. Prices are often a factor of how close one is to the city.

Suburbs vary tremendously, too, in attractiveness. We live in a planned community from the late '60s that has community lakes, walking trails, swimming pools, and tennis courts.

I've lived in the city, in the suburbs, and in the country.
I was bored to tears as a teenager in the country, but it was pretty. I lived in the city for almost 17 years, and loved the entertainment and great restaurants. Almost none of my friends that still live there can afford to buy real estate.

Some very good restaurants are opening up in the burbs, though, and better entertainment.

Shall we talk about crime? This suburban county of 900,000 restaurants has a total of about 20 murders a year. There is almost NO crime, and what there is of it is petty.

Plus schools. The urban public schools are terrible, the suburban ones include some of the very best in the entire country.

And anyway aesthetics and culture need someplace to curl up in the corner and die....

I grew up in a small suburban town that is a bit closer to Hartford, CT than it is to New Haven, CT. Through most of the 70s and 80s, it was primarily a lot of ranch homes built from the 1940s to the 1960s. It was fairly nice because I knew most of the kids in my high school class (about 100 people total).

Then, my first home was a commuter suburb just west of Hartford - a lot of "starter" homes that were ranches like my hometown growing up, only a bit better maintained than my hometown. I loved the convenience of the town - less than 10 minutes to four major highways (I-91 and I-84, Route 9 and the infamous Berlin Turnpike), less than 5-6 minutes to the post office, the grocery store, and a major shopping mall and a ton of restaurants. And, the neighborhood was a nice mix of young couples and older, more established families - our neighbors were the original owners of their home, built in 1964 and are still there to this day. Our yard was not huge, but enough for a small family.

We then moved to a more "exurban" town. A lot of farms that are/were in the process of being converted into residential areas. We had a nice big lot in a mid-priced (for Connecticut) development, but I did not like the lack of convenience - we'd have to drive 15 minutes to get onto the highway, and 20 minutes or so to get to a decent restaurant.

After that, we moved to a more "upscale" suburb where a lot of large homes have been built over the past decade. It's a big "exurban" in that it takes 10-15 minutes to reach the highway, but there are also a ton of restaurants, shopping and even a movie theater within 10-12 minutes. The townsfolk are very actively involved in a lot of family things (we've gotten a few "welcome to town" packets in the mail, and a town newcomer newsletter) and our development has a ton of young families in it and should give our daughter a lot of friends over the years - and our development is actually somewhat on the low-end for this town, but is still not cheap. We like the town so far because the public school system is excellent and it has more conveniences than our prior town.

Though there aren't any McMansions or ultra-large box stores.

In other words, it really depends on the suburb. Some, like mine, are more urban than others. I like it because it is still very urban, but I don't have to live in Los Angeles-proper. I'm about 15 miles north of downtown, which is where I work. I'm even lucky enough to have access to public transportation. I take the subway to work every day.

However, I used to live in the land 'o McMansions. There are actually some aspects that I miss about it. Those boxy stores are ugly, but sometimes being able to get everything you need in one stop is convenient. And there's actually parking available! And there are times I miss the artificial cleanliness too. But certainly not enough to move back.

oxymoron

I'd MUCH rather take the city with its grit, its grime, its pimps and its crime over the suburbs.

Actually, where I live, Dayton, Ohio, only half of the population exists here that did in 1970. So the streets are actually really quiet sans for the occasional garbage truck, or thumpin' bass from the back of a pimped out Impala.

I live in a 3-story super mansion (a Victorian built in 1905), that we bought for 44k.

My living expenses each month, including food, fuel, are just at $500.

I have a nice yard. with a super-duper garden. A privacy fence with garden all around that growing cantelopes, squash, peas and other yummies.

I've also got two big-ass dogs that appear to be possessed by the devil (only they're just putting on an act): a german shepherd and a pit bull. They come in handy with junkies wandering cities as they do.

I lived in the city when I was single, and I did enjoy it much of the time. It did have its drawbacks, though. In all but one place that had off street parking, the parking situation was awful. Not every city dweller lives where there is decent public transportation. One place I lived had parking meters, and you had to keep them fed even on weekends. If I slept in and forgot to run down and feed the meter, bam, a parking ticket. Another apartment had no meters, but you had to remember which days to park on the left side, and which on the right, and if you forgot, bam, a parking ticket. Even the apartment with off street parking had its downside. When I could find a spot, it was nice. Then there was the time I walked out to my car and found a burning couch blocking it in. Using communal laundry facilities bites big time, too. There's always the asshole that uses up all the machines at once. When they work.

Suburbs aren't all evil, soulless, vanilla places any more than all city living is nothing but perfect, cultural bliss. My suburban neighborhood is filled with all kinds of people of different racial and cultrual backgrounds. We actually have sidewalks. We even had more than one sign for Dem candidates during election years. It also has its drawbacks, but it's not another planet. Suburbanites are people, too. We aren't aliens.

At least a couple of years.

I hope I didn't imply I thought suburban folks were evil or alien. That wasn't my intent. I just have always lived in a "urban suburb" close to the city, or the actual city, so going out there to visit..well I just wanted to know more about what that kind of living is like since I haven't experienced it myself.

I don't think living there is for me--at least not any time soon--but I don't automatically write off people who decide it's for them either. I can see the good and bad aspects of both places.

Lots of malls.

They planned it really well, good use of land, great tax base so that no one is taxed to death, school system gets great support, the retail establishments are good, solid stuff...

I don't know, I live in the first subdivision built here and it is nothing at all like the new ones...

Trees, peace and quiet, for the most part nice people...

The city, well, Cleveland really has nothing to offer married people, especially with children...

I feel bad that the city has literally fallen apart, but the decisions made back in the late 50's and early 60's to build a highway system right through the neighborhoods pretty much destroyed the natural eb and flow of city life. So many people left simply because they were blocked from getting around in their old city neighborhoods by the freeway system...

Anyway, the pollution in the city precludes me from even thinking about living there so, I find my niche, do what I please and nobody bothers me...

At least to me. How could I survive without the staggering array of choices I have here, cultural, epicurean and alcoholic?

It's funny, I met a friend... and went to a crappy chain restaurant then went to the fucking HUGE store to by tiny little things. A joke

Sorry I posted and disappeared--Mother's Day, work, etc. got in the way of coming back as quickly as I'd have liked.

less crowded, quieter; stores and restaurants are not as convenient. we may WILL need to get a second car.

well, maybe at night.

But all weekend, there is the sound of machines. Lawnmowers, power-washers, saws.

And recently, Harleys, as the well-to-do boomer seeks eternal youth and vigor. (Me, I can't afford eternal youth and vigor)

rebuilt or turned into green zones. With these types of developments you’re getting most of the convenience of the city without the crime, taxes, and traffic. Drive times to Theaters and shopping are short, schools are new and modern. Drive time to the office is still within 20-30 minutes and won’t break you up even with 4 buck a gallon gas. When your neighbor has a 300k mortgage you don’t have to worry about washing machine left on the front porch to be used as a trash can. Old broken down cars don’t sit in ally ways. You’re out from under the repressive taxation that plague most “cities” and that can save you a mortgage payment or two a year. Ten more miles past these big developments you can still find parks and other natural places. (at least for the moment)if only...

All day I'm at work in town, of the evening I come home and enjoy the time in the pool or yard with the kids. Weekends are spent with family and friends.