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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 04:07 PM
Original message
Sunday Afternoon Musings...
I was thinking about how we communicate...

When you are a participant on a message board like DU...

Of course, you write your thoughts, feelings and emotions!

But in a marriage, you can live with another person, and hardly communicate at all...

Just because you're under the same roof doesn't mean that you will talk together, now does it?

Funny....because marriage is supposed to bring people together...

It does take work to make it work...

What do you think?

:shrug:
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DeposeTheBoyKing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 04:08 PM
Response to Original message
1. Funny you say that
Mr. DTBK has repaired to the bedroom to watch CNN while I stream Sam Seder through my laptop. Does he feel ignored? I hope not.
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 04:18 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. My dear DeposeTheBoyKing...
Of course, all marriages and other relationships need time apart too!

I hope he doesn't feel ignored, but the best way to find out is to ask him!

My husband and I spend a lot of time apart, but our together time is normally high quality...

:hi:
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billyskank Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 04:08 PM
Response to Original message
2. sometimes I probably communicate a bit too much
:blush:
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 04:19 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. My dear billyskank!
I don't think you do, sweetie....

Did you mean something in particular?

BTW, congrats on getting your car back! :hug:
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fizzgig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 04:20 PM
Response to Original message
5. i've never been married
but having lived with a few of my boyfriends, i agree it takes work to make it work

communication became a real point of contention with one in particular. i chose to stay with him a few years long than i should have, trying to make it work.

honesty and open communication is now a requirement in any relationship i have
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 04:23 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. My dear kagehime.......
I can tell you that even a long marriage is no guarantee of success...

You can really take each other for granted...

Communication, spoken or otherwise, is key!

:hug:
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 04:21 PM
Response to Original message
6. It is so true Peggy.
And, pretty sad, really...too.

:hug:
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 04:25 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. My dear KC2...
I'm sorry sweetie......sounds like things aren't so good for you...

I've struggled too......if that's any help at all...:hug:
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 04:30 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. No....mine is fine
Don't worry about me.

I was just talking in general! :hug:



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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 04:32 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. Well, that 's a relief!
Glad to hear you're OK, sweetie...:hug:
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BarenakedLady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 04:33 PM
Response to Original message
11. Oh yes
I know very well what you are talking about.

:hug:
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 04:42 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. My dear BarenakedLady....
Thanks, sweetie......:hug:
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Inchworm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 06:23 PM
Response to Original message
13. Communication is key to me
I recently got out of a 17 year long marriage with no communication. A lot of that was my fault, because I never had feelings for her. I vowed afterwords to never let that happen to me again.

Communication is a strong suit of mine that has been sleeping. I fear much like Billyskank said, "sometimes I probably communicate too much." I love my alone time, but as long as I just say that in the first place it seems better.

All part of "open and honest." I mean if I wanted to start wearing pink tutus and wasn't open and honest with my SO. It would be bad. If I said, "honey, how do I look in this?" We could talk about it. :D

:hi:
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 06:30 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. My dear Inchworm...
I appreciate your thoughtful response...

And I agree...Communication is key!

So many problems could be avoided if we just talked to each other when we have things on our minds!

It's a very good way to stay close and in love, IMHO...

You'll never know unless you talk!

:hi:
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 06:28 PM
Response to Original message
14. I think you're a wise person CalPeg
I hadn't really thought of it precisely that way but I'll bet there are a lot of people who reveal more in their Internet life than they do to their spouse or significant other. That's sad.

Communication is so vital and yes, it takes work. And patience. And determination.

But it sure is worth it. :)
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 06:35 PM
Response to Reply #14
16. My dear skygazer!
Thank you....

Well, I can tell you, I've talked a lot here on DU...a lot!

And it struck me that all we have here are our words...

We must communicate that way!

But you don't have to talk in a marriage...and I know there have been times when I haven't talked to my husband...

It can lead to problems...


It sure as heck is worth it........

:hug:
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TOhioLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 07:58 PM
Response to Original message
17. ......
'Just because you're under the same roof doesn't mean that you will talk together, now does it?'

No it doesn't. It surely doesn't.
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 08:35 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. My dear TOhioLiberal...
I am sorry, sweetie......

Your situation really really sucks....

Wish I could make it better...:hug:
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TOhioLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 08:43 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. Thanks, Peggy...
...Here's an update on my vibe request: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=6566859
There's more to tell since it's Sunday, but I haven't decided if I wanna share yet.

:hug: You're a good and caring friend. :hug:
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