An outsiders thoughts/questions about the Lounge

I've been coming in to the lounge for about 2 years. In that time I have noticed almost nothing in the way of altercations. That's not to say they don't happen, I just haven't seen any.
Skinner posted something not all that long ago asking for feedback on our lounge experience. There was also a plea to all of us to police our own actions instead of alerting the Mods.
My review of the lounge was positive. I can't recall ever alerting from here. (I know I have in GD though)

Things come up and I guess alot goes on in PM. I know some people have been tomb stoned.

But it seems like some people are pretty angry/hurt/upset/pissed off/dumbfounded right now. And as an outsider, so am I.

I've read people talking about Skinner having to possibly shut down the lounge because of things being so testy.

I'm guessing there is a whole "behind the curtain" aspect of whats going on here. Most of us have no idea & happily
continue on not knowing.

Is this something that can be fixed?? Or is the lounge doomed?

I like it here but some of the things I read today in response to whatever went on earlier have been pretty testy. I can't recall seeing it this extreme before.

But then again, this isn't my website.

I like it here- it's comfy

I avoided the Lounge like the plague for years. only recently have I been coming in here cuz I 'met' a few people in other forums that I enjoy playing with so here's the place to do it.

There is a lot of back channel stuff going on, but you don't have to worry about it. At least I don't :shrug:

Even some of my 'playmates' have major Drama going on in here and I manage to stay, for the most part, blissfully ignorant of the specifics. :evilgrin:

LOL

:evilgrin:

:rofl:

...now I shall have to appear before the crowds in the arena and weep, and weep...

:D :rofl:

seems the Drama Quotient for the Lounge is pegged in the red today and it would be a shame if your angst got lost in the shuffle

:rofl:

clutching my angst to myself like a cold chunk of dirty-comet space ice, and weep and weep...

Then I think I'll have a beer.

:D :rofl:

What IS going on in The Lounge today? I'm a real short-timer here but I was drawn to it 'cause I enjoyed the sense of humor normally on display, as well as the compassionate outreach to others. And the beer...

I mean, if you want to visit a place for the NOT tenderhearted, try HuffPost sometime...I am amazed their "comments" sections get any airtime at all...I finally quit exposing myself to the sado-masochistic fetish thing they've got goin' on over there. :hide:

edit: well, just because.

there are some folks who hang around here who don't like each other very much and sometimes it just bursts to the surface

it'll blow over in a few days (usually) if it doesn't, someone will be sporting a tombstone or at least a temporary one.

as for clutching your angst to your breast like a dirty chunk of comet ice out of the great void, well, good luck with that!

:rofl:


:pals:

edit to add, maybe just skip the comet and head straight for the beer eh? :beer:

...I'm pretty much beyond it now (my angst tends to be intense but, thankfully, quite breif). :pals:

I'm here now :beer:

Besides, that space-ice is a lot colder than you would think... :rofl:

:D :hi:

cold brewskis are the best eh?

:evilgrin:

you are "they"

I don't listen to anyone else :hide:



:rofl:

But then, when I first came here about two years ago, I found the lounge extremely cliquish and catty. I really don't feel that anymore. It seems more open and accepting. Perhaps that's because I've had time to make friends? I don't know.

That is, unless any disagreements are now occurring in PM's and offline.

But honestly, I don't have the time or energy in my life to worry about such matters. If the lounge is doomed, it would be news to me.

Why the delete? You made some good points.

could get pissed at eachother in.

I guess I'll repost.

Get haircuts!!!!

I never notice until posts like this pop up??? Am I just completely oblivious to the snark going around or am I just blind?

others will see snark and PM all their friends what an ass so-in-so is and the Games Begin!!!

:rofl:

Rats, now I'll have to read through a bunch of threads to find out what the drama is all about!

There was a particularly good one involving the weather in Chicago wherein some real comeuppance got dished out.

:wtf:

I used to, certainly, but then I discovered the Ignore function. I've always made it a habit to stay out of other peoples' fights, unless I see a gross injustice and even then I am evenhanded. Therefore I seem to dodge a lot of the shit that's flying around. On the other hand when somebody decides I am utterly disgusting and everything I write begs - no, DEMANDS - a smartass response, I put that person on ignore. Voila! The Lounge is a haven and not a harassment.

are not a Lounge problem.

How is the handsome new guy btw?

The few people who used to hound me appear to have given up. As for the man...
:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

Don't ask :blush:

I had a feeling about that one.

:evilgrin: :bounce:

I didn't want to say anything and jinx it.

You couldn't jinx things any worse than I do all by myself :hug:

I had a feeling when you posted about how you argued that first night. I don't know why but I just expected you would talk again with him.

I'm happy for you gf.

I knew there was something about him... it's why the fight was so awful. He's said the same thing. Anyhow, enough! We must enjoy the good times & that's what I'm doing. I wish the same for you.

not me. I have given up relationships and quite happy with that.

I have good friends and wonderful critters. I was extremely, um, active (?) in my younger days and I'm happy now not to be, lol.

Maybe all I need is a bit more *activity* before I retire from the relationship sphere myself.

I find it hilarious when a snarkfest happens, but take none of it personally.

Funny thing, it is almost always the same people at the base of it. Pay attention and you'll see who they are.

When you start taking crap personally in the Lounge, it's time to check out for a while.

Meantime, just enjoy. I like the Lounge.

Couldn't agree more.

love your comment in your profile!:hi:

:D

just because somebody says something doesn't mean ya gotta own it...or even respond to it. :shrug:

But I haven't had any pointed personal flames that I know of (I'm pretty obtuse that way). :D

I have noticed before and after major holidays and elections it can get pretty rough even in here.
I think many people use DU as a place to alleviate stress.
It is the manner in which they alleviate it that sometimes causes the anger and oversensitivity.
We are a community of similar minds but not like minds if that makes any sense.
I have been in the lounge for a few years now and I have come to know many good people and some I love as dear friends.
Some i don't mesh to well with..But still I believe that they are good people.

All that being said the ignore feature works great.
And the mods work their butts off trying to keep it nice in here.
I hope you stick around and play..
This place can be such a blast.
:hi:

I tend to arrive late to most of the dustups here.
I also tend to take things less than seriously. I mean, it IS the lounge, isn't it?

I am not concerned with the PM things that go on here because I'm never part of them. That helps. :-)

Some folks might see that as a challenge :)

Bring it on! }(

My apathy is palpable.

I recognize your name. I've seen your posts. I certainly don't consider you an 'outsider' or an 'interloper'. I wonder why you feel that way.

As for me, I've met some of the lounge regulars in person and been absolutely delighted with them. A couple of others have been amazingly wonderful to me, especially when my husband was having his surgery last year. In fact, one of those guys emailed me because he had gotten a granite cookie and was lurking and wanted me to know he was thinking about us.

WHen the shooting at Tech occurred here, I got some amazingly supportive PMs from folks I've never met IRL, but have a (what I feel) really great online rapport with. It meant so much to me, I can't even express it to you.

My point is, some posters are super prolific, others less so, (most of my post count came about when I was a mod, FWIW) but I am sure you have people here that you gravitate to because they make you think, or make you laugh. That's how it is for me. Some people here always make me laugh.

And that goes back to two years ago when I started, not to what's happening now.
When I started it WAS very cliquey and I felt like posting was a waste of time. A few months later I
checked back in and saw a hilarious post & a love o' the lounge was born!

By outsider I also mean that I am not part of the PM or phone crowd, but that's just cause I'm not around alot alot.
So I more meant it like I wasn't in the INNER loop.

People PM others that they like to interact with, or in some cases, PM to continue a conversation from GD. (I do that, I hope others do to, :) )

But, I see that so and so is PM'ing so and so and certain threads are just two to three folks talking to each other so I figure that they must be buddies. I don't have a problem with that. I'm glad that some folks are friends with each other. In some cases, it has led to romance and I think that is so, so cool.

I don't feel as though I am in a 'clique'. I have some friends here that I will always defend and they me. (Most recently when there was a terrible freeper thread with my personal information on it)By the same token, there are others that I've not interacted with a ton, but if I think they are getting 'piled' on, I will bite. Hard.

But, I think it's just interacting with people that you are comfortable with. There are some incredibly funny people in the lounge and it certainly is a great way to blow off a tough day, IRL and if you've just left GD.

matcom and I have been posting to each for years about my daughter. I posted her prom pic and he just went off about how he was going to 'date' her, etc. He doesn't mean it. He is beyond in love with his wife, but it's just his schtick. It's funny. He doesn't say anything terribly inappropriate and he knows that I don't take it seriously. DS1 jumps in once in a while and it's all downhill from there. :P

I know for me, I can see threads where someone is obviously referencing something, but I don't know what it is and I'm okay with that. I don't have to know everything that goes on here to feel as though I am a part of it. I have met some incredible people here in the lounge and I wouldn't trade it at all.

Just my $.02. YMMV.

to an all nude beach in Paris for Christmas Vacation along with a bunch of her underage friends??!!??!!



(kidding- I saw the hedonism thread)


I agree with what your saying- and am appalled by the freeper thread story. WTF? I remember reading something similar posted by Redstone a few months back. WHO ARE THOSE SICK BASTARDS?

That thread was horrific, but it was scrubbed pretty quickly. I don't go over there, but someone who posts there as a mole PM'd me about it.

I have to tell you. It was creepy that someone would be that fixated on me. I'm pretty harmless, IRL. :rofl:

Even Skinner was appalled when I told him about it.

but he's waiting for mine or so he said.

He'll have a 13 year wait before she's legal.

you have cut-ups, you have people who are the "in" crowd, and wish to remain exclusive, not allowing anyone else in their inner circle, and you have people who are just social and like to discuss anything and everything, because they like human contact. There are "wannabe's," and people who lurk, but rarely respond, unless something really strikes their interest. The trick is to not get hung up on anything, and just sort of go with the flow. You just have to realize it for what it is...

Often and for quite awhile now. I still have no idea what is going on most of the time.

I think it's better that way. :shrug:

I basically like everyone and I hope I'm liked in return.

If not, I don't really worry myself about it.

The Lounge is not doomed. I'm sure 90% of the people are as oblivious as I am

It's usually hidden attacks and snarky in-jokes that attack people and attempt to skirt the rules.
It can be VERY subtle at times, other times, it's kind of obvious. There's a lot of tension under the surface. Unfortunately, I know more about it than I'd really like to...sigh...I'm just here to enjoy myself really...but I will stick up for the people I care about.

are hidden, subtle, in-joke type stuff?

Shit, I thought I was in the Gungeon...

:yoiks:

RL

I hated that damn thing at the top of the page.

I think we've got some fabulous people here in the lounge. I've gotten called to the carpet for a few ignorant remarks I've made (and rightfully so) but I've never felt personally attacked at all in the lounge. As in all situations there are some people who you hit it off with better than others but I think we all get along pretty damned well.

Redstone

lol

Hi,
Just my two cents from a lounge regular who rarely posts. I do notice some tension sometimes from people. I don't quite get that. I have only got bent by one person who claimed to have no use for midwest corn producers. I wish I knew now what I didn't know then, but whatever.

Have also found on the internets, there are people that all they want to do is cause drama.

I have a blast in here and love the offbeat topics, questions, conversations.

peace