I'm wondering if anyone here was born to a parent or parents much older than the norm

My parents were probably a little older than average when I was born in the mid-60s, but, still, they were just barely in their 30s.

The reason I ask is I have a niece who was born when her father was 58 and her mother was about 44.

I wonder, sometimes, how she'll feel about having much older parents as she grows up.

when I was born in 1962.

Heh. When mom mentioned to one of her best friends she was considering having just one more, she said "But,you're getting too old!" :P

I still like this woman because she's such a sassy smart ass.

My mom in her...wait...gentleman never tells.

It's sort of a strange, almost philosophical question, though, because the particular egg and sperm that produced you wouldn't have united years earlier, and then you wouldn't be you ...

Never, ever bothered me. I got to draw from his experience, 23 years in the Navy, etc.

I'd not be me if not for the circumstances.

My dad was 44 when I was born; my mom, 33, and I wasn't the last child, either. At the time, my dad at least was a lot older than most of my friends' and schoolmates' parents. If he were still alive today, he'd be 100 tomorrow, so my perspective is a bit skewed to knowledge and appreciation of things before my time. :) So, that's a plus; on the minus side, my parents didn't seem to have other (younger) parents as friends, so that certainly had an impact on the family-to-family socializing (there wasn't any).

In the long run, the age of your niece's parents won't matter to her too much until she's older, when it definitely will: unless they come from exceptionally long-lived families, she'll be thrown to the front of the generational train way before she's ready for it. I hope she has older siblings who can help when her parents need assistance in their old age.

I am a little worried about that.

She does have quite a few aunts and uncles and cousins, though, although not many that live in her state.

My dad was 44 and my mom was 39 when I was born in 1957. They had been married 11 years, and I was the last grandchild. I was at least 16 years younger than my closest cousin, and 9-10 years old than my cousins' children. It sucked. I hated having older parents--my father was a farmer and was chronically ill as well, so we never got do much besides stay at home. My mother was a teacher and thought that I should be tied to her side forever, so I didn't have a lot of friends growing up.

My dad died 2 days after my 17th birthday (today, as a matter of fact), and he was 60 years old. My mom died in 1999 at age 81. I was lucky to have known all 4 grandparents--the last one died when I was 24 and she was 86, and she was my best friend.

I've always been a big advocate of two things--have your children early, and have more than one if at all possible. Not only are both my parents gone, but all my grandparents, aunts and uncles, and many of my cousins as well. Those that are left--I haven't heard from any of them since my mom died.

Since I've never married and don't have children, it makes for a very lonely life and an even more lonely future.

I wish the best for your family.

and sorry your father had passed so close to your b-day...
:hug:

My parents had more problems than just being older parents, so there were all kinds of issues for me growing up. While I don't begrudge anyone having children whenever they can (and however many they can), I'll always sympathize with those who are only-ies with older parents--hopefully the parents will understand the special circunstances to give their children the best future they can.

Thanks again. :grouphug:

companionship soon.

It's hard to get "settled" and in the groove financially when you're in your 20s, but, on the other hand, time is not an unlimited resource. I wanted to have two children before the age of 35, and I made it, with a year to spare. I know lots of people who waited until their late 30s and are having a tricky time with fertility issues, etc.

;) I always wanted a little sister but by then, my Mom had literally, had enuf!! ;)
I was 2nd to youngest of 7 kids but I may as well have been an only child.
My parents were older (40's) when they had me and all my brothers and sisters were
at least 3 years older and more, except my little brother. The older one's saw me
as a pain, I guess. They didn't hang out with me. Not much anyway. Maybe because
they got stuck with taking care of me as a baby. :shrug: I suspect so.
I never have felt very close to them. We were on different planets and still are! lol!
Maybe you can join a group of interest to you and create a surrogate family?

Hang in there!! :hug:

On edit: Just saw that you said it was your birthday!





:party:

Sorry, Breeze, for hijacking your thread.

I must have missed that! :rofl:

came along in 1945.

That was definitely older than the norm in a family with only two children.

My mom was 27, my dad 24 when I was born.

Dad 24 and Mom 20.

and my little sis came two years later. :shrug:

... my mom was 42 and my dad was 40.

Youngest of 7, my nearest sibling is almost 8 years older than me. :hide:

our group of friends would talk about our dads or uncles serving in Vietnam and then my girlfriend would say her dad was in WWII - it was kinda weird. but he was a cool old guy.

and unfortunately, he died a few years back when my gf was about 30, while everyone else's parents are still alive (knock on wood).

It isn't easy, but I think I appreciate him all the more (he was a high risk pregnancy for multiple reasons).

My husband was nearly 42, and I was two months away from 44 when our son was born in 1994.
I had almost accepted that I wouldn't be able to have a child when he slipped in under the wire. :)

so long as the parents don't sit around, acting like old people, and depriving the kid of a childhood. (I speak from experience)

We didn't go on family outings - we didn't go out to eat - I never got to play ball, or have friends over. I didn't have birthday parties or anything of the sort. All I ever heard about was "we're not YOUNG like so-and-so's parents, we can't ENTERTAIN your friends" (as if they were coming over to see my parents, not me)

The only thing I had to hang on to was our yearly trip to Texarkana (woo-hoo) to visit my grandmother.

After all that being said, my mother was 29, my father was 36. (when I was born) - not really that old, huh?

I married a girl whose mother was 28, and whose father was 48, and she had a much more enriching childhood than I did.

<sorry, the thread struck a nerve>

It sounds like your parents were born old. I'm an older mom (pushing 40) but I'm very active with my kids. I think your parents were a product of their time, sadly. They probably didn't think it was okay to act silly with you. They did love you though.

See my reply downthread.

I can recall ONE -- yes, ONE -- vacation my entire childhood. I never had a slumber party, and never felt comfortable having friends over. My memories are mainly of my mom taking naps in her chair and my dad watching sports on the television. While I never lacked for material comfort, I have precious few good memories of my childhood.

I had my first at 35. I do worry a lot about living long enough to see them through. The truth of the matter is, if I'd had them in my 20's I'd have been a shitty mother. I was selfish and screwed up. I have patience now. We have so much fun together and I really enjoy being a mom.
I think that is so much more important than having a baby at 20 when you aren't ready and raising a child you resent. That is what happened to me with my mother.

I wasn't born "to" them; I was adopted. But this is more about psychology than biology, so...

The only time I remember even thinking about it was on my 12th birthday, when my mom took me to Toys Galore to buy a buncha Matchbox cars. It was a bit late in the day, and I guess she was starting to run out of gas or something, and she sighed a bit. The really cute sales girl said to me, "Looks like your gramma's getting tired."

It was more or less just funny. :shrug:

I never wanted for a dad to do boy stuff with because of age. Dad caught me or hit grounders to me in the back yard every day during Little League (even though many times he'd just gotten off work) and coached my team one year. He took me places (like for my first airplane ride, and I didn't even have to ask, and to ball games), and when I was about 9 I challenged him to a foot race. Bastard beat me. :D

Still, 44's a damned sight from 58. But if they're good parents, I doubt she'll think it matters much.

Oh, and don't you just love it when you get a buncha replies from people who apparently didn't even read the OP? :P

I would worry too about how she'll feel. Fifty-eight and 44 IS pretty old to have a baby. It really depends on what type of health both parents are in right now. Can they run around with her? Take her to the playground? Then you have to think about the what-ifs. Is there anyone who could step-in to take care of her if the worst happened?

They are still in good health and active, etc. However, when she's 12 the father will be 70 ...

Luckily there is a large extended family who would help if anything happened.

Back in the day (1960) that was considered to be grandparent age. My mom says that she was such an oddity on the maternity floor, nurses would come by just to get a look at her. When my dad would come to the school to pick me up from kindergarten, people would mistake him for my grandfather.

There is a 20- and 17-year age gap between myself and my sisters.

Just speaking for myself, having older parents sucked. Especially growing up in the 1970s, when the last time they had teenagers was in the '50s. 'Nuff said.

On the day I was born, my mother was 27 and my father 26.

when she had me. My father was 41. Most of my elementary peers thought I was being raised by my grandparents.

I'm closer in age to my niece than to my next oldest sibling.

My mother was also a late child, her mother being almost 40 when she had her. She already had nieces and nephews before she was born. I have first cousins that are almost 50 years older than me.

It's also strange to me when nieces and nephews are older than the aunts and uncles :crazy:

his mother thought she was going through menopause---wrong! Anyhow it's pretty funny because his brother is 66 and he his 43, my father is also 66 and he also has a brother thats 43. My grandparents were older when they had my uncle.

my husband feels really lucky, his parents retired early so they had a lot of time to spend with him and as they used to say they were "Broken in" by the other kids, he had real quality time with his parents and i'm glad for him, they're both passed on but he has nothing but good memories.

The was in the early 60's as well, so it was much more rare...

I actually didn't like it and was embarrassed when people thought my dad was my grandfather. They also didn't seem to have the energy that younger parents seemed to.

My dad died when I was in high school. It makes me sad to think he never got to see me graduate from university, get married, meet my kids, etc.

The father will be 76 when she graduates from high school!

Unfortunately they had alot of trouble, I was born when my mom was 37, my brother was born when she was almost 41. My dad is only a few months older than her. They lost two before me, they lost one between me and my brother and they lost one more after my brother before the doctor told them to stop trying.

I think the greatest problem is that they know they won't live to see grandchildren grow-up, which is something my mother really wanted.

By the same token, they were alot more established by the time me and my brother were born and were able to save for my education without a tremendous burden. They started saving when it looked like she was going to stay knocked up with me.

Also, by the time we were teenagers they were at a place in their careers where they were able to travel with us, and help us with homework and just generally be there.

Socially speaking it was kind of strange that my parents were old enough to be my friends parents, but by the time I got to high school they were no older than the other parents who's third kid was in high school.

Dad's always been a heavy smoker and drinker until very recently, so he looked every year of 51 and then some.

Since I look fairly young, people who didn't know better would often assume he was my grandfather, and still did even 2 years ago.

My mother was 27 and my father was 32. I'm the oldest of three children. My sister and brother were born very quickly after that (Mom had us all within three years :yoiks:). I'm 44 now.

no perfect age, but it does depend on the parents attitude. I am 49, and have a 13 year old. I think I'm pretty young at heart. I may not have the physical stamina, but I sure try.

but my brother is 12 years older than I am. She had one miscarriage in between us.

The generation gap here was virtually unbridgable. My mom and I have major differences we have never been able to fix. She's only now beginning to realize I have worthwhile things to say.

Most everybody else's parents were in their 20s or early 30s when they were born.

I had friends who all were in their late 30's -early 40's when our children were born. And none of us are acting "old". We hike, bike, have parties, and go on outings together. So most of us are hitting the big 50s but it's not a big deal, it's like living a second childhood...

We never got to know eachother as adults, as equals.

:bounce:

My Mom gave birth to my youngest brother 11 months later!
He and I are the same age, for one month, every year!
They always had gray hair, as far back as I could remember.
I was always the kid with "the old-fashioned parents".
And they were old fashioned!! It used to drive me insane!
I loved them very much, don't get me wrong but I had to fight
them to do normal things other kids took for granted. REBEL!!!
I had a lot of things I was not allowed to do which made me
feel like I didn't fit in with the other kids with younger parents.
Just an example, but I wasn't allowed to have a Barbie doll, when
it was new and all the rage! I got the little sister instead!
I couldn't go to 'sleep-overs'. I couldn't wear make up or a two
piece bathing suit and I was not allowed to date at 16 & 17 yrs. old!
Little did they know!! :rofl: Maybe a lot of that was their religious
beliefs too but my Dad took my oldest sister to her prom!!!! :eyes:

My parents were older than most of the other kids parents. I didn't think about it growing up but I did think about it when I had my own children. I wanted to be able to play with my kids, run, etc. I also wanted to be able to do the same with my grandkids.

DH was in the same boat, born last to parents about the same age as my parents. So we had our kids early and close together.

I was their fifth and last kid. If I remember correctly, they were much older then alot of the other parents throughout my school years.

I had my first when I was 22 y/o...and throughout HER school years I was one of the youngest parents (by a good 10-15 yrs). To the point where at her middle school "meet the teachers" get together I noticed the teacher greated all the parents in front of me (each had their kid beside them as I did mine) with "Hello, Mrs so and so; How are you, Mr So and So". We get to the front of the line and the teacher just gives me a blank stare--and goes "and YOU are?????". "Um, I'm xxxxx's mom"--as I pointed to my daughter standing right next to me.
At another school/teacher-parent meeting at that school I remember my daughter telling me afterwards "It's kinda weird, Mom, cuz you don't LOOK like the other parents". Thanks, honey...I think.
Apparently, it still kinda shocks her friends at college when they are comparing parents..they can't quite get that my 20 yr old daughter has a mom who is "only 42 yrs old".