All of your drinking stories suck compared to this one...

This woman at work told me years ago she was in the Sahara desert. She was stuck in a sandstorm with a group of others. They all had on camping gear and what not. But, with them, there was also this dude from Sweden who got really drunk in Stockholm, ended up on a plane to the Canary islands and somehow eventually ended up in the Saraha with this group. He was wearing dress clothes and had nothing more with him than a ghetto blaster with Pink Floyd's "dark side of the moon" in it.
I don't know where this guy came from or where he is now.. but I pray to god I one day get to party with him.

It would be very hard to top that one. :hi:

When I was in college I hung out with an exchange student from Stockholm. I've never seen anybody party like he did - I never saw him sober. One night I was at a club and he staggered in, sat at the bar and ordered a beer. A group of us were talking for a few minutes when we noticed that there was a pool of blood spreading under our Swedish friend's barstool. Apparently he'd nicked a major blood vessel but didn't know how or when. He left the bar in an ambulance. Soon thereafter he left the country for his native Stockholm. :rofl:

Nobody gets drunk in Stockholm and then travels! Swedes always start travelling so that they can escape the outrageous taxes on alcoholic beverages (designed to curb a one time raging 1 liter per capita per week national Akavit habit) and get drunk for a lot less. Booze cruises to Latvia and Estonia are particularly popular.

I thought I had some stories. That is the best in the history of drunkenness. Seriously. If you ever find this guy, contact me please. I wanna go too.

there are so many to choose from

I do like the ones where I came out of a blackout doing something "interesting" :evilgrin: or actively getting to that point and wondering who the hell I was making out with? :rofl:

The most states I've woken up away from were from NC in a pool hall(where I started) to fishing for carp on the Conowingo dam in Maryland.

Nothing I'm proud of either. And hec, I dont even like to fish.

:blush:

...while stationed in Germany during the 1970's I made the ill-considered decision to "misappropriate" a jeep from our battery motor pool. :dunce: It's a long story, with many adventures, but the gist of it is that I spent 2 days touring the Bavarian back roads with 2 other friends. Beer was consumed, gasthauses were visited, beer was consumed, bier fests were visited, beer was consumed...you get my point. :beer:

Somewhere toward the end we stopped and picked up a case of Grafenwohr "flippies" (porcelain stoppers, liter sized bottles, high alcohol content) and headed out again. About 1:00am (and really foggy out) I drove the jeep into a ditch :banghead: which I couldn't get out of and the whole case of bottles flew out of the jeep and smashed on the road. Just then, from out of the fog, I hear "HEY, we been LOOKIN' for YOU guys". M.P.s... :yoiks:

So they take us back to our barracks at Vilseck. We walk into the Orderly Room and I am escorted into the BC's office. Its about 2:30am and our Battery Commander is sitting there in his bathrobe, pipe clenched between his teeth and, uh...displeased...as it were. :scared:

He questions me for awhile, interspersed by periods of extreme Tourette's Syndrome :grr: , then tells me to wait outside.

He calls the other two guys in for questioning.

One of them was named Archuletta. He goes in and the BC starts interrogating him. Over and over he asks him about whether I had been drinking while driving. Over and over Archuletta says "No, never saw him drink in the jeep".

Finally, BC shouts "Archuletta, by your own account you were sitting in the back seat of that jeep! How could you not have noticed whether he was drinking or not!!!"

Short silence. Then, from over the partition, I hear Archuletta say, very calmly, "Sir, when I was a kid our family had one of those station wagons with the far rear "jump-seat" that faced backward, out the rear window of the car. I was the youngest in my family, so I always had to ride back there. Ever since then, if I am riding in the back seat of a vehicle, I have to sit facing out the rear window...or I get carsick." :puke:

Short Period of silence. Then the BC growls "Archuletta...get OUT of my office."

I thought he was just gonna' take me out and shoot me at that point, he was so pissed.

True Story.

Drunk Driving, or even driving with an open container is no laughing matter, and I came to finally wise-up when I got a bit older. Too many people have found themselves with immense suffering because of it, and I condemn it whole-heartedly.

Archuletta was from New Mexico; if anyone reading this is from New Mexico and recognizes this story have him get ahold of me. I would love to talk to him again. :D

:rofl:

that's a most excellent phrase!

:applause:

I like the whole stroy, but that really cracked me up.

...but I can GUARANTEE you I wasn't laughing then. :rofl:

:hi: :D

I was with this guy from upper Michigan in a pub drinking Guinness. I think we each had four pints...imperial pints that is, 20 ounces each.

It ended up where I would head to the bathroom, then he would head to the bathroom, then vice versa, rinse and repeat. We finally decided to give up (closing time) and head back to the B&B.

Oh, nothing happened. That was one shitload of bathroom visits...for each of us. He did no better than I. But we had fun!!!

We closed the pub 8 times in one night. They had some law that the pub needed to be closed then it could re-open at the oddest times. They'd shut the lights down and the music would stop. Then everyone would start shouting and singing again. I was too plastered on Guinness to figure it out. It was one of the best nights of my life.