So, I've been called a bitch twice in the space of a week by people I don't know.

First time was in a parking structure in downtown Seattle. I had driven around for 20 minutes trying to find a place to park, and finally saw a place that wasn't full (could not find any street parking). There were two openings in the building, one saying ENTRANCE, the other saying EXIT. I pulled into the ENTRANCE, and there was a sign saying "All cars stop here." I did. There was a car to my left, and a guy standing outside the car. He looked at me and I thought he nodded, so I thought, okay, guess I can continue. I start up the ramp, and this car comes DOWN the ramp. There is no room for two cars to pass each other. I got out of my car, and told the driver he was going the wrong way. He yelled at me, "This is the way out, BITCH!" I was so taken aback (not to mention the fact that I was close to being late for an appointment), that I told him to go fuck himself. He really started yelling at me, and another guy (who had been in the car that had been to my left at the entrance), came over and told the guy to chill out and leave me alone. Then he explained that it was valet parking, and apologized that he had not been at the entrance when I drove in (the other guy turned out to be a customer). I wish there had been a sign saying it was valet parking. Sigh.

Then, earlier today, I went to the grocery store, then to the liquor store next to that. I was 3rd in line. The woman ahead of me was talking on her cell phone, right in front of the sign that tells people to NOT talk on their phones when it was their turn to be waited on. Since it wasn't yet this woman's turn, it was no biggie that she was on her phone, but when it was, she kept flapping her gums on the phone. The clerk very politely told her that she could not wait on her while she was on the phone. At first, the woman told whomever she was talking to that she needed to hang up, because she was at the checkout counter. BUT SHE DIDN'T HANG UP. So, the clerk told her that she was going to to ahead and wait on me while the woman finished her phone call. The woman got all huffy, and said, very loudly and very rudely, "NO YOU WILL NOT!!!!"

The clerk and I were both taken aback, as was the clerk working the stand next to the one I was at. The woman's attitude pissed me off, and I said, "Then why don't you get off the phone so the rest of us can get on with it?" Her response to me, "Shut up, BITCH. I'M being waited on right now!" (She was still on the phone while she was insulting me and being rude to the clerk.). So I said, "Then get off the damned phone!" (That could potentially have had bad consequences for me, as this woman was about 3 times my size.....but I was really angry by that time.)

The clerk at the other stand called me over to her register to wait on me, and said, "You don't deserve to be treated like that." She rang me up, and by that time, The Bitch Queen was gone. The other clerk apologized to me for how the woman had treated me, but I said not to worry because it wasn't her fault.

What in the hell is wrong with people? They are in the wrong, but they cuss other people out and call them names when they are called on their bad behavior?? :eyes:

all those letter scared me.

If you want me to hunt someone down I will :D

<hugs>

ass for me. :7

:evilgrin:

you handled both situations a lot better than i think i would have. i can't wrap my brain around how people can think this is acceptable behavior.

:hug:

My mother would kick me from here to Sunday and back (even though I'm 51), if I were to act that way toward people just because I thought I could. I wasn't raised that way (though mom and dad DID raise me and my siblings to stand up for ourselves).

:hug:

:grr:

:hug:

:loveya:

just forget about them, they aren't worth it

:grr:

and something i learned when i worked counseling addicts, be careful going back at them. You never know how strung out someone may be or what weapons they might have on them. if they are that irrational, you can bet they aren't in their right mind

:hug:

;)

addiction was what was up with these people; perhaps they are addicted to being assholes or something.

:hug:

but they weren't quite right it doesn't sound...

and my radar goes off on people like that now. Addiction or not, they may just be assholes, or insane.

Either way, life's too short to mess with assholes.

:hug:

"Assholes Anonymous". Since the initials AA are already taken by another group, what could they call themselves?

I favor "Assanon".

Assholes Enormous :D

We have a winnah!

...:loveya:

Try not to take that type of crap too personal. Those pricks are just self-absorbed ass-holes.

To me, you da bomb! :hug:

I know that people like that would strike out any anyone who is the most convenient target, but some of us aren't willing to be doormats for them....

:loveya: :hug: :loveya:

I don't understand it either. Some woman charged at me one night because I asked her boyfriend to stop honking the horn at 11 at night in front of my apartment.

I'm sorry that you had to deal with people who have no idea how to behave. There seems to be a great lack of common courtesy out in the public. It's shocking because I know I wasn't raised to be confrontational at every point.

Take heart, SeattleGirl. You are one of the good ones.

:hug::loveya::*

with you!

And yes, it does seem that there are more people around who either choose to forego common courtesy, or they were never taught it in the first place. Sometimes I think it's lack of being taught. I've had kids from the local high school give me lip, and if it weren't for the fact that nowadays, so many things can be seen as child abuse, I would have done my grandmother's trick, twisted their ear, and marched them home to face their parents. Sheesh.

Thanks for your kind words, VR. You, too, are one of the good ones. :hug: :loveya:

But I stood there and never flinched even though I was shaking. She was staying with the girl upstairs, and I talked to the rental office about it and they were evicted.

I used to hear stories about all the parents in the neighborhood knowing all the kids and parents and nothing would get past the adults. I think it's a shame it's not like that. It really does take a village, and everyone is now isolating themselves. I worry for society sometimes. I really do.

:hug:

And I think The Internets is a big factor in it. Don't get me wrong; I love the Internet (after all, I never would have discovered all you cool people here on DU!),, but as many of us know, it can also lead people to very improper behavior, because they can hide behind their keyboards. And unfortunately, I think that is spilling out into face-to-face contact with others.

It's like going to the movies these days. People get used to watching DVD's and such at home, in their living rooms, so they can talk, and make noise, and yap on the phone when they are watching a movie. Then they go to a theater, and behave in the same way.

I think our morals, ethics, and even our sense of common courtesy is lagging behind the technology we deal with today. Hopefully, those things will eventually catch up, and people will start realizing that courtesy and good manners still matter.

:hug:

Good manners and common courtesy are two things I take pride in. I can't imagine being the way some people are - even online. That is so hurtful and destructive to others. It's just not worth it to me.

It makes me sad just thinking about how people can be sometimes. :(

...and I've worked for 3 major airlines now.

It's not only a badge of honor, I see it as a compliment...

Think of it like this-- they are saying you are too much woman for them!!

:rofl:

In my job, I am often the brunt of my client's anger, because they never see their claims managers, they think their doctors are Gods, and they forget that their attorneys are supposed to be working for THEM, not vice versa. Plus, they are little bitty cogs in a huge government system, which can lead to a lot of frustration for them. And I, and other vocational counselors, are often the main repository for that frustration. I've learned to handle that, and in fact, have gotten very good at allowing clients to vent their frustration, and then taking the time to explain the system to them in a way they can understand, once they have gotten that frustration out. I'm a big proponent of venting, but what happened this week was quite different.

But hey, I'll try to see it as a badge of honor. I AM a lot of woman, now that you mention it! :evilgrin:

:bounce: :bounce:

lemme at 'em!



Honest!!

:rofl:

names woman! How can I hunt!!!

:rofl:

Alan Asshole, and the woman in the liquor store was Betty Bitch. Hope that helps! :rofl:

darn! I guess I'll just be happy here :)

:rofl:

Two wrong opinions don't have the power to define who you really are. Some people are just rude, for whatever reason. :hug: :loveya:

I've been called names before, when I've accidentally bumped into someone who wouldn't accept my apology, but these two instances were just so out of the realm of anything "normal", I really was taken aback (but as you can tell from my story, I stood up for myself).

:hug:

Almost missed you.:pals: :hug:

Take back the word.

Actually, one time I was walking home from the store, and a couple of guys drove by, and yelled out at me, "Hey bitch! Lookin' good! Wanna take a ride?"

To which I replied, "Sorry, this bitch is already taken!" :rofl:

Difference was, these guys weren't being mean; it was (for them) a compliment to me.

:hi::hug:

The word bitch is used as a put down for woman, so just take the word back.

I got a CD somewhere call Working on my Inner Bitch.

What is a man called when he is acting like a bitch.

I saw a sign on a car window that said "Bitch on Board, now have a good day"

First, some bitch in a parking ramp was going the wrong way and cut me off....then after that, I was in a grocery store dressed in drag, talking on my cell phone, and some bitch cut me off in line. Ruined my whole day it did, and....oh....hey.....wait a second. :blush:

SG, you are the opposite of a bitch...sorry you ran into some ignorant people....:hug: :hug:

:rofl:

And thanks, darlin'. You're a sweetheart. :hug:

and you are a sweetheart too. :hug:

Neither situation warranted those responses. People are jerks!

:hug:

:hug:

Not all, but too many.

:hug:

This has gotten much, MUCH worse over the past six years. People don't even know how to be polite anymore.

There have always been people have treated those who work in retail, food service, etc. as their own personal kicking stones, but I agree; it seems to be so much worse now.

Sorry that I can't find a youtube or other video of a performance... it's much funnier when you hear Lavin sing it.

www.christinelavin.com/00090117innerbitch.html

Bitch | Feminist Response to Pop CultureProvides commentary on our media-driven world from a feminist perspective.
www.bitchmagazine.org/ - 18k - Cached - Similar pages

I know why I would be offended - because it's a gender slur used to keep women, specifically, in their place when they get too uppity.

But I don't know why you are offended. You use that word here frequently. If you find the word offensive, don't promote its use.

was utterly, completely, 100% uncalled for, and I found it offensive.

Are you saying that I had no right to be offended?

Offense is in the eye of the beholder, and these eyes beheld a personal attack upon me by both of these people.

Beyond that, I don't feel that I have to justify or further explain why I reacted in the way I did.

But if you're angry specifically that they called you a "bitch" then I think you're being hypocritical.

It's a gender slur used to demean women you're angry at. That's how you use it here, repeatedly. It might be a good time to examine why that word stings more than just regular old anger directed at you stings. Why's the N word uglier than just regular anger, you know?

I think it's worse than regular anger because the word has a history of misogyny embedded into it. I can understand why men use that word - it helps keep women in their place by reminding them they are only women; it reinforces male supremacy. But for the life of me, I don't understand why a woman would use a word that is derogatory about women.

Also the guy was coming out of the exit and he thought YOU were in the wrong. He was certainly over the limit on being an ass, but it probably freaked him out to have a car coming up an exit ramp.

Also as long as someone pays attention while being addressed by the clerk, what is the scoop on no cell phones during check out? It isn't like she's trying to drive or something. Still it would have been better if she spoke up for herself instead of giving YOU grief.

I was going extremely slowly, and didn't get within 15 feet of him.

As to the woman with the phone, the problem with talking on the phone when you are supposed to be conducting business with the person right in front of you, besides the fact that, IMHO, it is rude, it also slows things down. The woman didn't necessarily even have to hang up. She could have told the person she was talking to to hold on for a sec, paid for her purchase, and then started talking again, no biggie. Instead, she chose to get all huffy because the clerk and I were not willing to sit back on our heels while she conducted her own personal business on the phone.

You're a kind, caring and warm person.

These guys are out there- really out there.

Southpaw's advice is good- you don't know how
whacked these people really are, so be careful.

But I'm glad you stood your ground.
I wouldn't take any crap from them, either.

Stay strong, GF!

:hug:

A driver coming from the other side, the wrong side, was upset about me being in the parking space.

Guess what he called me, the word bitch does not upset me.

Some people just need to put other people down, sad for them.:hug: :pals:

I can't imagine they have much joy in their lives.

I occasionally give them the one finger salute
while I smile and wave back.

It brings about a pause in the madness.

:hi: :pals:

them used the word, as a personal attack in a threatening way, when they were in the wrong and I wasn't. They were each pissed off because I wasn't going to bow in their general direction and let them continue inappropriate behavior without confronting them about it.

I can cuss with the best of them, but I don't call someone a bitch or a bastard or a whatever when I am in the wrong, and someone says something to me about it.

I got the feeling from both these people that they spend a lot of their lives in an angry state of mind. And yeah, sad for them, because there are better ways to use one's energy.

:pals:

Their lives suck so they take it out on others, women are good targets because a a man might hit back.

I have reached a point in my life I don't let things get to me anymore, I have a temper but it takes a lot to get me mad.

Life is to short to be angry all the time.

"they were in the wrong and I wasn't. They were each pissed off because I wasn't going to bow in their general direction and let them continue inappropriate behavior without confronting them about it."

I think a lot of people use rudeness and ugly behavior to get their own way. After all, anger gives you power. I have a relative who does that. It won't work with me!

Cause I would have picked her ass up and escorted her out the door. :grr:

Actually, I did have the urge to do the same, but as I said, she was about 3 times my size, so I think I would have lost that particular skirmish.

You are very tolerant. Some adults should be treated like children. "Now you can have your phone call, after your groceries."

:)

this afternoon. The cause of the explosion was apparently caused by a customer taking away the cell phone of a self-appointed Queen of the World who would not stop talking on her cell phone long enough to pay for her purchases."

:rofl:

:sarcasm:

My son took me out for a wonderful birthday dinner, tonight.

Afterwords,we got in my car, ready to pull out from our parking space,

A big, new Lexus pulls to a stop behind me, waiting for my space.
The problem was, there wasn't enough space to pull out.

I motioned for him to back up, he didn't
but let his wife and kids out of the car.
He acted like every second was a matter of life and death.
There were spaces open all over the lot.

Finally, after 20 dagger looks, he backs up 2 feet!
Be still,my heart- 2 feet!

I BARELY make it out of the space, drive the U turn in the lot to
hear him snidely yell out,

" Nice driving, lady!"

Well- with the attitude, the inconsideration and
his Lexus taken into account-- I yelled,

" Thank you very much"

gave him the one finger salute and drove off.

Then- I remembered having our school district's parking
permit on my car.
I run into students all the time, here.

"Hey- I just saw Mrs. --- flippin somebody off in the parking lot
of the Newport Rib Co!"-- ( hypothetical)

Maybe I shouldn't have done that,
but I did, and I except full responsibility for it.

---What is going on?----

I was having a total brainfart-klutz day and after I had made 2 calculation corrections on the overhead (forcing my students to rewrite their notes) I murmured so that I thought none of them could hear me "I think somebody slipped some crack in my coffee this morning."

of course within 5 seconds it had passed to the back of the class and they were all laughing. Funny thing is, ever since then, they all pay attention to see what I'll let slip next... *LOL

:rofl:

I think you're right!

:rofl:

THAT would definitely get their attention.

Now you're cool and they'll pay more attention
to you.

;-)

:hi:

Superhero Undercarriage Power Boosters so the car could rise up out of the space, and fly off into the sunset? Some people, huh? :eyes:

I gave a driver the one-finger salute once because they were literally just a few inches from my back bumper on a two-way street. I pulled over to the curb to let the person pass, and that's when I gave them the salute. My mom was in the car with me, and she was rather appalled, but I said, "Mom, there are so many drivers around here who think they own the road, who think nothing of putting others in danger, that sometimes, you just have to react that way." I figured it was better than slamming on my brakes and having the front end of the guys car parked in the turn of mine!

I wonder how these guys get a driver's license in the first place.

:shrug:

:hug: :pals: That sucks. Rudeness knows no boundaries.

I was at a fast-food drive-thru about five years ago, and there was a van that was totally stopped about ten car lengths back from the speaker. It did not move, even though it was in the drive-thru lane. I honked my horn several times, and the van still did not move. I pulled up beside the van, and the guy in the driver's seat was on the phone (naturally). He was engrossed in his conversation and wasn't paying attention to anything. I had waited for several minutes, and then I figured he was not going to move. After checking out the situation, I went around him. I pulled in front of him, as did two other people behind me. As soon as we did that, Asshole Idiot Boy realized he needed to pull up and got furious that anyone would pull in front of him.. He started calling us every name in the book. "You bastards! I was next! You BITCH! You're all MOTHERFUCKERS!" He was yelling this out the window as loud as he could and he was beating his fists on the steering wheel. I looked at the woman behind me in the rear-view mirror, and she just smiled and waved. :rofl: I smiled and waved back. He kept screaming obscenities and was still screaming when I finished paying for my food and left. Yeah, Idiot Boy, it's everyone else's fault that you're an inconsiderate asshole...:eyes: Yeesh....:yoiks:

I love the end of your story, you and the other woman smiling and waving at each other while Idiot Boy makes a total fool out of himself!

:rofl:

:hi: :rofl: That was priceless... She and I both will never forget that, I'm sure...:P

I hope you have a better week coming up! :hug:

I actually don't have many encounters like that, but two in the space of a week was kind of weird, to say the least.

the psychiatric health of the nation seems very poor at present; hubby thinks they're enabled as such while playing 'follow the leader' :(

--------->:hug:

As I say at times, as go the leaders, so goes the country. If Bush, Cheney, et. al. don't think they have to play by the rules, a lot of people probably think they don't have to either, even if the "rules" are nothing more than the common courtesy variety.

And sometimes I think that part of it has to do with a general frustration at how things are in this country right now. A lot of people may not realize it specifically, or may not realize it at all, but there is a lot of frustration running through this country right now, and I think it sometimes comes out in instances like I experienced, and others have talked about. Can't strike out at the big guys, so they strike out at whoever is most convenient.

:hug:

Seattle:Caffeine

Sometimes they combine to bring out the ass in people.
.

You could be right! :rofl:

I spend lots of time in Seattle; my in-laws live there, plus we've got investments all over the Sound.

supposed to be checking out at a store, preparing your check, getting your cash out, getting the debit or credit card out, you need to pay attention and DO that, not be gabbing to someone else, thus holding up everyone else in line.

:grr:

but it's really sounding like Tacoma is becoming a much friendlier place than Seattle. Or maybe it's just me... There's occasionally people who try to talk through checkout at Target, but most people don't do it.

And I don't go to theaters much, but I've never seen someone try to talk through a movie on a cellphone. I understand it happens, but... <shrug>

I don't like going into Seattle anymore. Just don't. It's funny...I never thought I'd call Tacoma my home, but it is. It just doesn't have that whole get-the-hell-out-of-my-way-I'm-more-important-than-you attitude going on so much.

I used to go to Tacoma quite a bit for my job -- had a lot of cases there, but now most of them are in Seattle and north King County and Snohomish County.

And don't get me started about cell phones in movie theaters. I had a nasty encounter with a woman in a theater in Renton a couple of years ago. She was talking loudly on her cell phone, IN THE THEATER, WHILE THE MOVIE WAS RUNNING! People kept "shushing" her and she ignored them. I finally spoke up, loudly, and said, "Get off your damned phone or get out!" I got applauded by everyone in the place!

Afterwards, the same woman was on her cell phone AGAIN, standing in the doorway to the restroom, blocking access. I came up behind her, and said (politely), "Excuse me." She ignored me. So I said, "You need to move out of the way." She turned around and shot me a look that could kill. So, I put my hand on her shoulder and moved her out of the way. She stormed into the restroom after me, and started screaming at me, calling me names that made "bitch" sound like a term of endearment. There were other women in the restroom, and they gathered around me, stood shoulder to shoulder with me, and gave such a "if looks could kill" stare at her that she finally backed off and left.

Oy. I wish we could round up all the people like that, send 'em to an island, let them have at each other, and leave the rest of us alone.

I really don't. How can people remain so oblivious to people around them?

threatening to others when they are called on their behavior.

I just don't get it. I'm certainly no Pollyanna, but I do try to be courteous in my encounters with people. But, if someone is deliberately rude, deliberately obnoxious, threatening, etc., you bet I will get in their face. I do not deserve to be treated that way, nor does anyone else.

I'm not even sure why, exactly.

prefer famine).

One of the things I like to do, from my heart, is try to change people's attitudes. I do this a lot at the grocery store. Say the person ahead of me, or a person who went through the line before I got to the store, played "kick the dog" with the clerk. In my opinion, most retail/grocery clerks are pretty damned cool. And the do NOT deserve to be treated like crap.

So, when I sense that they have been, I do try to turn things around. I'll say something silly like, "Hmmm, bad day at the office?" And it's wonderful, their reaction. Most of them don't go into detail, but it is obvious, from the way their body language changes, from the way the stress leaves their faces, that it makes a huge difference to them, that it really makes them feel good, that someone like me acknowledges that they are human, acknowledges that they matter, and gives them space to let go of the anger and frustration they may be feeling.

It doesn't always work, but most of the time it does.

Yes, I can get angry. Yes, I can get in someone's face, and believe me, I have done it my fair share of the time. But for me, it's more important to try and turn things around.

With the people I described in my OP, though, this may sound contradictory, but I really don't want to waste my time on them. They strike me as people who get out of bed in the morning already pissed off, who face the world with their dukes up, and who will kick another person to the curb before that person knows what hits them.

They do piss me off, and they do elicit some measure of pity, because I sure as hell wouldn't want to go through my life living smack in the middle of Anger City nearly 24/7.

like people in general. I never knew how much I'd enjoy it until I was doing it.

And I work with a GREAT bunch of people at Target. One of our supervisors was a little cranky the other night and then came in the next night and made fun of herself for it. They genuinely try to be nice, even to us employees. Most of them succeed spectacularly.

And though I occasionally get frustrated with some of the inane crap people do, it's usually washed away the next time I can help someone out. I got a written compliment from a customer a few weeks ago that made me grin. "He asked me if he could help me find something, and he was sincere!"

I use dry humor to defuse anger, on the rare occasion I'm confronted with it. Or just to get my co-workers to laugh.

Plenty of assholes out there. Just keep telling the damn fools to fuck off.

with the guy in the parking structure. When he said, "Fuck off, bitch", that hit the WRONG CHORD with me, and I fired back by telling him to go fuck himself.

I would have told him to to Cheney himself, but I have a feeling he could not have known what I meant. :evilgrin: