OMG! OMG! I'm totally schadenfreude-ing about Next Food Network Star!! (spoilers)

I'm finally watching last night's episode, and I'm so fucking happy that of the four finalists, three of them did excellently and that FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT JACKASS JAG did MISERABLY. Fucking MISERABLY.

Arrogant fucking asswipe.

BYE YOU ASSHOLE!!!! YOU FUCKING CLUELESS OBNOXIOUS ARROGANT ASSHOLE!!!

(though I haven't watched the end, so I don't actually know if he gets booted)

I have not caught much of it this season, but the shows I have caught, Mr. Jag shows some serious personal responsibility issues.

But don't celebrate too quick.

He totally is the tough guy wannabe - he has all the worst of hispanic/latino male culture.

But dammit, he stayed on. I'm so sad!! And angry!!

Can't think of his name - Paul?

He didn't do very well, either, and hasn't for the whole show - but at least he's not a shitbag.

So he did pretty well. I was hoping he would win it all, but he ain't no Giada I guess..lol.

I don't like the "shitbag" guy either.

Like on Project Runway, when that guy who treated everyone like shit, and sort of kind of cheated on the last piece, still won. They must think that helps ratings somehow.

If you watch the interview video on the website, Paul breaks down and cries when he mentions telling his partner he's been eliminated. What a sweet guy!!

On Project Runway? :puke:

What an asshole. Now a famous asshole.

Fucking HYSTERICAL.

"The Reach of a Chef"

Ok, *maybe* I got it for the Rachael Ray/Emeril chapter... :yoiks:

I also got the Gordon Ramsay book! :D

Hasn't arrived yet. Also got the book he co-authored with Ripert, A Return to Cooking. I wish they'd hurry up and arrive.

After that, I want the Bouchon and Les Halles cookbooks.

HUGE cookbooks! Les Halles comes to mind. They weigh like 20+ pounds, all shiny, glossy. I want a cookbook that I can bang up in the kitchen, like my Fannie Farmer or my 1972 Joy of Cooking! x(

That being said, I still want Robuchon, Les Halles, and the CIA professional cookbook. I'm a glutton for punishment. :P

Btw, that Ruhlman book is great! :bounce:

It's a pain in the ass wrestling those big ones around the kitchen. x(

Another one I'm anxiously awaiting is a much more managably sized basque cookbook, which is my new fascination/obsession.

Whew! The Gourmet cookbook is soooo tempting, but it's massive! :wtf:

I feel your pain, :hug:

of the three finalists left, he said long ago that two didn't have a chance--JAG because he's the scary minority guy and Amy because her taste and knowledge skew French (:rofl:). Still funny stuff, though :)

I don't want to spoil it for anyone.

and came to DU with the intention of kicking it, but you beat me to it :)

:kick:

I could believe what happened!

Stop reading if you haven't seen the show yet!!!















Don't they check out any of these people BEFORE competition starts??? What an a**hole!

I like Amy, btw...how about you?

And I couldn't believe it how it unfolded!

Woah.

do people really put "herb butter" on top of it????????

:hi:

why would a gob of butter be any worse than cheese?

Or any of that crap they try to pass off as cheese?

for instance, when they cooked for the soldiers at the fort, I remember JAG having a tough time being on a military base because of "what he went through" in the marines, and it didn't sound like he was worked up about combat but that he just didn't like the military.

Apparently he was dumped from the marines eight months early. He claims that the military was attempting to cover up a hazing incident (apparently with him as the hazee, since he talks about how everyone in the unit said he'd never amount to anything) ... http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/report-the-next-food-network-star-3-finalist-lied-about-his-past-5467.php

The scene at the end was sure odd, though, as if he were reading from a script ...

and wasn't surprised that he was a lying mofo.

Yeah, the scene at the end seemed TOTALLY staged. Yuck.

:rofl:

Gets hard to keep the stories straight, I suppose ... I wonder if he really did grow up poor, getting beat up on the way home, thinking only of the smell's of his momma's kitchen to help him survive the mean streets ... :shrug:

because he's such an ego-maniac, 'look at me' kind of guy.

But he didn't want to talk about his upbringing and childhood, etc.? That did seem odd and discordant when he said it.

:grr: The scene at the end was totaly scripted and insincere...the only reason he's upset is because he got caught. It had nothing to do with "loyalty" to the Food Network!

was the way he, getting off the elevator, reached out tenderly to almost touch one of the portraits on the wall, as though torn with regret for all the bad publicity he'd brought to the, um, network :eyes: :rofl:

:wow:

all pissed about how it had unfolded, and then his story unraveled.

I didn't feel sorry for him AT ALL, although the 2 hosts of the show seemed to.

but was surprised that it unraveled so completely like that. I guess my sense about the hosts was that they did not really feel sorry for him as much as they could empathize with how painful that situation must have been for him.

Rachel I-can't-cook-but-Americans-are-so-stupid-they-don't-care Ray, "Everyday Boobies" star What's-Her-Name-My-Eyes-Are-Full-Of-Boobies, Bobby suuuure-I-can't-make-a-better-chili-than-Joe-Schmoe Flay, and all the rest.


EDIT: Except Alton Brown of course. He's the coolest thing since Bill Nye The Science Guy

http://blog.ruhlman.com/
(though this one's a little better ... http://blog.ruhlman.com/ruhlmancom/2007/06/next_fn_star_up.html)

Bourdain's great. I wish he'd blog more frequently.

that was funny stuff, though :rofl:

It's from early February ... scroll about halfway down the page: http://blog.ruhlman.com/ruhlmancom/2007/02/index.html

This one is also worth reading: The Fabulous Food Network Awards (about halfway down the page): http://blog.ruhlman.com/ruhlmancom/2007/04/index.html

Ah, good stuff :rofl:

but I can't concentrate on what she's cooking fer her goddamned tits flopping into the pesto.

And what's with her teeth? Does she gargle with Clorox and Mule Team Borax?

Meals you can sink your TEETH into.......:spray:

damn I've never seen a bigger set of teeth on anyone. Whats her name anyway?

blogging food snobs who like to feel superior to someone don't get the point of the Food Network.

It's not about cuisine-- it's about entertainment. It's not about chefs waxing prolific about their great talents and inventions, but about how you the viewer are not a putz because you tried making a bernaise once and the curdled mess almost poisoned the dog when he licked it off the floor after you dropped the pot.

Most of us can only watch some snooty chef yakking about his genius and showing us all the stuff he can do that we never will for only so long. I hear enough about chipotle ice cream and other crap these guys come up with. Ferchrissakes, people have been feeding themselves fairly well for at least 15,000 years that we know of withoput these assholes.

99% of the people watching cooking shows will never make the stuff they see being cooked. Emeril knows that, and if you follow him onscreen you'll poison half your friends. Wanna cook something-- go to his website and get the full recipe. Bobby Flay isn't about what you're gonna cook, but about great stuff that's out there. Tres leches donuts, Cubans roasting a pig in a box, Greek yogurt on a burger... Great stuff and you didn't know some of this could be in your own town.

Half the shows are bullshit, and I cringe every time Sandra Lee opens Whipped Topping after a spiel about how she wants her nieces and nephews to eat right, but at least she's still not wearing a bra, giving us something to watch.

... assumption. Contrary to what every defender of American Idiocy will lead one to believe, it IS possible to have high-quality entertainment.

have all been excellent and entertaining.

Julia Child proved that a long time ago when she was happily demystifying haute cuisine and bringing it into everyone's kitchen.

Has Alton had an article in Scientific American like Julia had solving the curdled Bearnaise problem with the help of some university chemistry department?

I always have a problem with entertainment ending up dumbing things down, and that's certainly what a lot of FN is doing. But, that is, unfortunately, part of the price to pay for having a food network.

Now, if they would just take those containers of Whipped Topping out of
"Aunt Sandy's" refrigerator...

(and kill off the decorating tips)

I missed the last episode. . .

it would be worth it. :thumbsup:

My cable selection offers "Food Network On Demand" and you can watch a lot of their shows anytime you want, but you may not have the same thing.

not getting banana peppers that he kept claiming he bought even after they weren't on the receipt. I appreciate his skill, but he just comes off as a douche.

Y-U-C-K

:puke:

I catch myself thinking "no--NO!! NO! Please don't smile!" :scared:

made my mouth water!

That said, for me it will be a tough choice between Amy and Rory.

Her face cannot handle long, lank blonde hair. Can't.

But, she's got much bigger tits, to be blunt, so I think she'll probably win. Giada had enormous boobs, Sandra Lee has 'em, Nigella has 'em, and the new chick who has the "Simply Delicioso" show has enormous boobs, too.

I think it might be a prerequisite so that you don't really pay attention to the recipes.

Oh, the Huge Manatee!

schadenfreude-ing? :D

sometimes with lotion