so, the call I knew would come eventually has come

"Mom, I have nowhere to go."

He's hit bottom.

For months I could see him headed for the cliff. That doesn't make watching the fall any easier.

I want to help him, but right now the history I see is that whenever anyone helps him, he stops helping himself.

Not only that, but there's a room-mate he wants to bring with him. I feel bad for this girl, but I really do believe she has nowhere to go either. I'm not sure logistically I can take them both in.

if he needs to help himself, then i can only imagine how hard that is to watch.
:hug:
:hug:

:hug: It's tough watching the ones we love suffer...esp when it's your own kid. :hug: I feel for you.

that you can't help him. I'm very sorry. I wish there was something you could do. :hug:

I don't know that there is any advice that would help, but you definitely have my best wishes, good vibes, and moral support.

:hug:

She decided that allowing her daughter to move in would be a mistake, because once she is in, it would be very difficult, both emotionally and logistically, to force her out if she started floundering again. The compromise they agreed on was that the family would help her financially in a new living situation for a pre-set, limited time, with a clear contract about expectations, and clear agreement of the support to be withdrawn if expectations were not met by specific times. With clear goals, her daughter has actually been motivated to do some things to make her life better, and parents feel good about helping but not taking her in and enabling dependency. If she chooses to fail, it is a lot easier to stop writing checks than to make her leave the house.

I don't know if this would be an option for you, but I thought it made sense.

Good luck. This must be heartbreaking.

Learn from W's mistake and have an exit strategy! I'm sorry MissM that it's come to this. Make sure whatever you do that it works for YOU. OK?

If my family had done the above, after my husband ripped my world apart, I'd have failed and early.

Question -- How old is he?

Is this the first time he's done this or is this a pattern of behavior?

You posted this topic, so I'm guessing you do want to talk about it but

more information would be helpful. Stay strong.

You need to write up a contract. Tell him exactly what you will do and what he has to do to continue to get support.

:hug: