So Pickles took Tom Brady to SOTU. Whatcha gonna do?

Root for the Karolina Kitty-cats instead? I don't think so! I knew that was a bad idea, and now I know why.

Remember Reggie White? Yeah, that Reggie White, who said this to the Wisconsin Legislature, while he was with the Packers:

http://www.skeptictank.org/white.htm

White said the United States has gotten away from God, in part by allowing homosexuality to "run rampant."

HOMOSEXUALITY IS a sin, and the plight of gays and lesbians should not be compared to that of blacks, White told lawmakers.

"Homosexuality is a decision, it's not a race," White said. "People from all different ethnic backgrounds live in this lifestyle. But people from all different ethnic backgrounds also are liars and cheaters and malicious and back-stabbing."

White said he has thought about why God created different races. Each race has certain gifts, he said.

Blacks are gifted at worship and celebration, White said.

"If you go to a black church, you see people jumping up and down because they really get into it," he said.

Whites are good at organization, White said.

"You guys do a good job of building businesses and things of that nature, and you know how to tap into money," he said.

"Hispanics were gifted in family structure, and you can see a Hispanic person, and they can put 20, 30 people in one home."

THE JAPANESE AND other Asians are inventive, and "can turn a television into a watch," White said. Indians are gifted in spirituality, he said.

"When you put all of that together, guess what it makes: It forms a complete image of God," White said.

Well, it sure forms a complete image of something, all right! :puke: :puke: :puke:

Okay, trivia buffs: With which NFL team did White conclude his career?

Bzzzzzzt! The Packers is NOT the correct answer!

Did somebody say the Karolina Kitty-cats? DING DING DING! White came out of retirement to play one last year with the then quite recent expansion team -- after his bigoted remarks had been spewed all over every media outlet in the Western world! Thus, the Kitty-cats knew exactly what they were getting into.

Why, you might ask, would a guy like Reggie White come out of retirement to play for a cheesy expansion team?

Because God told him to, of course!

http://www.gazettearchives.com/panthers2000/_article/000001ec.htm

"I don’t think me coming back has a lot to do with me missing playing," White said. "As you know, I pray. Some people think I’m crazy when I say God told me certain things. I feel God directed me here (to Carolina).

"I feel like this is the place for me. This is going to be my home."

White is building his dream home on Lake Norman, which is expected to be completed soon. He also hopes to build a Biblical theme park in the Charlotte area sometime soon.

Oh boy! Can I go ride on Ezekiel's Wheel, Mom? Please? </sarcasm>

That's funny. God told Reggie to play for the Kitty-cats, but She told me to keep on rooting "wicked hahd" for the Pats! (Actually I'm from Conn., not Mass.; we only say "wicked" when we're talking about John Rowland... :evilgrin:

Edit: It was the Wisconsin Legislature, of course. "Wisconmsin" has still not achieved statehood...

that God always directed Reggie to the highest bidder? What are the odds?

team.

Mark is a tight end for the Green Bay Packers who was a key member of the team when they won Super Bowls in 1997 and 1998. He is regarded as one of the best tight ends in the National Football League. But don't think of Mark as just a one-dimensional dumb jock. He regards himself as an active supporter of family charities and conservative politics.

In fact, Mark went public with his ideals when he refused to go to the White House with the rest of his team to meet with President Clinton after the Packers' 1997 Super Bowl victory. Why was that? Did he have a charity fund raiser to attend instead? A family birthday party? Perhaps a Young Republican's Club Meeting? No, Mark refused to go because he disapproved of Bill's low moral character.

Good for Mark! It's about time a professional athlete held himself up as positive role model for the youth of America! And you can bet that a fine, upstanding young man like Mark would keep his own sexual organ sterilized in an antiseptic jar, to be used only on a semi-annual basis for procreational purposes with his wife. Right?

Well, it looks like Mark went to the jar once too often. This week, he got arrested after his 17-year-old baby sitter accused him of sexual assault. The assault occurred at a party held in Mark's friend's house after a prom at the local high school. What do you suppose a 31-year-old pro football player was doing at a prom party? Chaperoning for one of his family charities? No, Mark and the owner of the house were playing drinking games with the high school girls in a hot tub. The girl in question, who knew Mark from baby-sitting his two kids, became "very intoxicated'' after drinking vodka. Mark then took her into the bathroom and without saying a word, took off her clothes and porked her. Right on the floor.

Since Mark is so fond of comparing his high moral values to Bill Clinton's, I thought I'd help him out by providing an update on their comparative escapades.


http://www.johnmonty.com/cotw/cw000415.htm