Don't put anything off. My extremely fit 64 y/o FIL died from a stroke last week.

I got a call last Friday the 13th that my Father In Law had had a stroke, and was on his way to the hospital. He had just turned 64, and was probably one of the more fit people that I know. I thought if anyone could pull through it he could.

My wife and immediately bought plane tickets, and travelled all day to get to his side. It was Midnight on Friday by the time we got there, and he had gone into a coma. We stayed in the room with him all night, and got the news on Saturday that his stroke was massive and unrecoverable. Even if he did recover, he would not want the life that would be left for him.

We spent the next 4 days at his side, making sure that he died with the dignity, love and care that he deserved. I'm still in shock at what just happened over the past 11 days of my life, and that my extremely cool Father In Law is now gone in the blink of an eye. We thought we had so many more years together, but fate had other ideas.

I just wanted to tell everyone that the unthinkable can and does happen. Don't put off the good things in life. He never did, and I'm very happy for that fact. He saved nothing for retirement - went on trips, told people how much he loved them, had a fantastic job, and always remembered to have fun.

Don't save it up for later. Do it now. You never know if tomorrow is the day that you won't get up.

Oh, I hear you......And I'm so sorry at your loss...

Your FIL was one year older than I am...

I always try to tell the people that I love, that I love them!

You can never know when the time will come when you won't be able to say it...

Or they won't be able to hear it.....

My deepest condolences to you and your entire family...

:grouphug:

It was a really hard week, and I've never held someone's hand as they took their last breath before. It was very clear that he was not there, that he had left days previous, but it was still very hard to watch the physical manifestation of him disappear and change before us.

I am 38 and was completely in awe of his physical fitness. He survived Viet Nam Marine combat, played squash and golf many times a week, and had the lowest body fat % of anyone I know. It was just a freak physical flaw that did him in. He didn't see it coming, and certainly no one else did either.

Thanks for the hug! :hug:

My father also died of a cerebral hemorrhage, going into a coma on the way to the hospital, and he only lived a day. We weren't with him when he died, which I greatly regret. I'm glad you and your wife were able to be with your father-in-law - I'm sure he knew you were there.

And you're exactly right - we never know, do we?

:hug:


(edited to correct unfortunate use of adverb)

At this point I can't decide whether to obsessively excercise or give it all up and eat Ho-Hos on the couch all day. Given his situation it didn't matter a lick. Hard to know what to make of it all, other than to make sure that I keep my life checklist handy and keep checking things off!

I'm sorry you went through a similar experience with your father. It's amazing how quickly someone can be taken away.

I don't feel like he was there with us, but I do feel like we did right by him all the way. There was an abundance of love in the room as he died, and I'm grateful for that.

:hug:

i too am sorry for your loss but i think you can take a middle ground

the part about "lowest body fat of anyone i know" is what set off warning bells for me

moderation is best, esp. in one's 60s and up

you don't have to eat ho-hos but i would definitely take it as a quiet warning to avoid any type of compulsive exercise or eating disorder

:hug:

Now stop putting shit off and get down to enjoying your life! ;-)

Sounds like an excellent human being. My thoughts go out to you and yours.

:hug:

He was a great guy, and we're setting up a foundation in his name. We'll be giving to his favorite charities - animal shelters and sanctuaries, breast cancer research, and arts organizations. It will be nice to continue that on in his name through the years, regardless of how much we are able to give.

:hug:

:hug:

Don't forget to tell your loved ones how you'd like to die. He did, and it made everything so much better. He was very clear that he never wanted to live on any sort of support, and we made sure that he did not. We eventually took him off of support, and it was very hard to do, but we knew that's what he wanted. It was actually a really nice experience making sure his wishes were carried out.

:hug: