Corniest song ever?

I nominate "Sing" by The Carpenters. Not to knock the Carpenters in general; they did have some good songs and Karen had an angelic voice. Just their hit "Sing" is possibly the corniest song of all time. What do you nominate?

I'd nominate "We've only just begun" by the Carpenters, were Bobby Goldsboro's "Honey" and "Watching Scotty Grow" not even more glurge-worthy.

I think that "We've Only Just Begun" started out life as a decent, although minor little song, and might still be a decent little song today, if it hadn't been mangled a million times by a million horrible wedding singers. Now it's more like a beat-up, dirty rubber chicken laying in the corner of the garage with only one leg left.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

They were unfairly slammed in their time, like John Denver. More talented than people gave them credit for.

by Roger Miller...fun, but corny...

:D

Hut-Sut Rawlson on the rillerah and a brawla, brawla sooit,
Hut-Sut Rawlson on the rillerah and a brawla sooit.
Hut-Sut Rawlson on the rillerah and a brawla, brawla sooit,
Hut-Sut Rawlson on the rillerah and a brawla sooit.

Now the Rawlson is a Swedish town, the rillerah is a stream.
The brawla is the boy and girl,
The Hut-Sut is their dream.

Hut-Sut Rawlson on the rillerah and a brawla, brawla sooit.
Hut-Sut Rawlson on the rillerah and a brawla sooit.


In a town in Sweden by a stream so clear and cool
A boy would sit and fish and dream when he should have been in school.
Now, he couldn't read or write a word but happiness he found
In a little song he heard and here's how it would sound;

Hut-Sut Rawlson on the rillerah and a brawla, brawla sooit,
Hut-Sut Rawlson on the rillerah and a brawla sooit.
Hut-Sut Rawlson on the rillerah and a brawla, brawla sooit,
Hut-Sut Rawlson on the rillerah and a brawla sooit.

Don't even get me started.

anyone know what that means?

:rofl:

A lost art in pop music.

:scared:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHapMnqSeR8

:puke:

:puke:

Yuch.

By that pop sensation, Johnny Ashcroft.

:cry:

Old Rodger Miller singing '16 Tons'

If you see me coming, you better step aside,
A lot of men didn't and a lot of men died.
My one fist is iron, the other one's steel,
And if the left don't getcha, then the right one will

I used to sing that when I was a kid.

You are right about Tennessee Ernie Ford making the song a hit. A quick internet search shows that it was written by Merle Travis or George Davis.

When I was in High School, a skinny little dirt farmer's son said "my left hand is iron and my right hand is steel ..." just before this big football player pounded him into a lump. Just because the song was a hit didn't stop the kid from getting hit.

I wish that football player was around to pound a little on george bush.

usually a verse or two

You load 16 tons and what do you get
another day older and deeper in debt

St. Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the Company Store.

The song was about coal company owned towns and miners life in those towns.

Sure, it's a little macho hyperbolic, but it's always struck me as being pretty genuine... shit, the chorus is about as accurate description of life in working America as you could write.

"You load 16 tons and what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt.
St. Peter don't you call me cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store."

Life in America has become about working your entire life to service your debt and grubbing for money, to the point of feeling GUILTY if we take vacation time for a couple of weeks a year. In some way or another, 90% of us owe our soul to the company store, or maybe it's Chase Bank or United Health Care, with little or no hope of getting free.

It was used pretty effectively along these lines in the vastly underrated movie "Joe vs. the Volcano"

A truly great song. I hum it on the way to work

:evilgrin:

Goodbye Papa, it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky........

Ick

because I liked that song when I was in high school.

This was before the Sex Pistols....

As Dave Barry would say, that song is deeply hated.

The original French lyrics of Jacques Brel's "Le Moribond" ("The Dying Man") are quite different, and much more sarcastic. For example, the chorus ("We had joy, we had fun..." :puke: ) could be loosely translated "I want you to sing, dance, and carry on like lunatics when you plant me six feet deep."

It was only when Terry Jacks did an English version that those awful, glurgy lyrics got attached.

I thought Jacks did a great job with it.

IMHO

Cause corny knows no bounds lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Rv4Lwg8b4I

:hi:

...it suckity suck sucks!

Quite a remarkable achievement, actually. Scoring big in two areas of schlock music.

ARRGGHHHH!

Hands down.

Arrrgghhhhhhhh!!!!:puke:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7Un6yd986c

I will not click on the link.
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I will not click on the link.


There. Now I feel better.

Song about a lost dog...

Shannon is gone I hope she's drifting out to sea
She always love to swim away.
Maybe she'll find an island with a shady tree
Just like the one in our backyard

Trivia: Henry Gross, the purveyor of this treacle, was a founding member of Sha Na Na. So I guess this song wasn't totally unexpected.

...well not really, but now that song is stuck in my brain, with that nasty high pitched voice.

;)

Asked if you were a super hero, what would be your super powers.

I chose the ability to give ear worms. So take that, evildoer!

...and I've chosen to share the misery with Mr Bjornsdotter. I do not like to suffer alone.

:toast:

When I was a kid I knew a girl who LOVED that song. I couldn't understand why. I've always hated it.

I hate that song with the passion of a thousand nuns.

:grr:

I should have known better than the check my replies!

:rofl:

http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/KF/2006/05/dowie/John_Dowie_-_British_Tourist.mp3

my worst earworm. worst.

Actually it's a great song... "I'm in Love with a Wonderful Guy" from South Pacific (I think).

I'm a little gun shy after the mutilation I suffered suggesting "Sir Paul" retire.

Notice, please: No Mas Hoopla about McCartney's new album, and the "Everybody gonna dance tonight" commercial has gone to TV Hell.

And here's someone's video montage to that song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsV1OUu-V40

Deserves the "Lifetime Achievement for Glurge" award.

BTW, I've found the "cure" for earworms: http://www.last.fm/music/Johann+Sebastian+Bach/_/Sheep+May+Safely+Graze

I think I was 11 years old and even then I thought it was the most pathetic song.

'You're So Sweet -- Horseflies Keep Hanging 'Round Your Face"

Kentucky Moonshine
could never take your place
and your eyes could give me goosebumps down to my toes
Feel like the only rooster in the henhouse
Guess it shows

Mary Lou Jane! Oh, Mary Lou Jane!
Oh, what a fine name! What - a - Fine - Name!
And you're nothin' like them females from New York City
Nothin at all!
Front teeth missin'~ Heeh! Ya got your front teeth missin!
but that's fine for kissin --- aaah, Feels So Good!
You're more loyal than my dog Sam, and twice as pretty!
And that's goin' some!

Neil Diamond did it, I sheet you not. . . . . .

That must have been during his "sterno period".

Like he's never soared before!

nothing else even comes close.

Daddy please don't, it wasn't his fault, he means so much to me
Daddy please don't, we're gonna get married...just you wait and see.

She called me up, late last night, she said Joe, don't come over
My dad and I just had a fight, and he stormed out the door
I've never seen him act his this way, my God, hes going crazy
He says he's gonna make you pay, for what we've done, he's got a gun, so

Run Joey Run Joey Run
Daddy please don't, it wasn't his fault, he means so much to me
Daddy please don't, we're gonna get married...just you wait and see.

I got in my car and I drove like mad, till I reached Julie's place
She ran to me, with tears in her eyes, and bruises on her face
All at once, I saw him there, sneaking up behind me, WATCH OUT!
Then Julie yelled, he's got a gun, and she stepped in front of me
Suddenly, a shot rang out, and I saw Julie falling
I ran to her, I held her close, when I looked down, my hands were red,
and heres the last words Julie said...

Daddy please don't, it wasn't his fault, he means so much to me
Daddy please don't, we're gonna get married.....aaahhh..ahhhh
ahhhh....ahhhhh

Run Joey run Joey run Joey run Joey run Joey run

Teddy Bear

I was on the outskirts of a little southern town,
Trying to reach my destination before the sun went down.
The old CB was blaring away on channel one-nine
When there came a little boy's voice on the radio line.
And he said, "Breaker, one-nine, is anyone there?
Come on back, truckers, and talk to Teddy Bear."
Well, I keyed the mike and I said, "Well, you got it,Teddy Bear."
And the little boy's voice came back on the air.
"'Preciate the break. Who we got on that end?"
I told him my handle, and then he began:

"Now, I'm not supposed to bother you fellas out there,
Mom says you're busy and for me to stay off the air.
But, you see, I get lonely and it helps to talk
'Cause that's about all I can do. I'm crippled and I can't walk."

I came back and told him to fire up that mike
And I'd talk to him as long as he'd like.
"This was my dad's radio," the little boy said,
"But I guess it's mine and Mom's now 'cause my daddy's dead.
Dad had a wreck about a month ago.
He was trying to get home in a blinding snow.
Mom has to work now to make ends meet
And I'm not much help with my two crippled feet.
She says not to worry, that we'll make it all right,
But I hear her crying sometimes late at night.
You know, there's one thing I want more than anything else to see.
Aw, I know you guys are too busy to bother with me,
But, you see, my dad used to take me for rides when he was home
But I guess that's all over now since my daddy's gone."

Not one breaker came on the old CB
As that little crippled boy talked with me.
I tried hard to swallow, the lump just wouldn't stay down
As I thought about my boy back in Greenville town.

"Dad was gonna take Mom and me with him later on this year.
Why, I remember him saying, 'Someday this old truck'll be yours, Teddy Bear.'
But I know I'll never get to ride an 18-wheeler again,
But this old base will keep me in touch with all my trucker friends.
Teddy Bear's gonna back on out now and leave you alone
'Cause it's about time for Mom to come home.
But you give me a shout when you're passing through
And I'll sure be happy to come back to you."

Well, I came back and I said, "Before you go ten-ten,
What's your home-twenty, little CB friend?"
Well, he gave me his address and I didn't once hesitate
'Cause this hot load of freight was just gonna have to wait.
I turned that truck around on a dime
And headed straight for Jackson Street, 229.

And as I rounded the corner, boy, I got one heck of a shock--
Eighteen-wheelers were lined up for three city blocks!
Why, I guess every driver for miles around had caught Teddy Bear's call
And that little crippled boy was having a ball.
For as fast as one driver would carry him in,
Another would carry him to his truck and take off again.
Well, you better believe I took my turn at riding Teddy Bear
And then I carried him back in and put him down in his chair.
And, buddy, if I never live to see happiness again
I want you to know I saw it that day, in the face of that little man.

We took up a collection for him before his mama got home
And each driver said goodbye and then they were all gone.
He shook my hand with a mile-long grin
And said, "So long, trucker, I'll catch you again!"
I hit that interstate with tears in my eyes
And I turned on the radio and I got another surprise.
"Breaker, one-nine," came a voice on the air,
"Just one word of thanks from Mama Teddy Bear.
We wish each and every one a special prayer for you
'Cause you just made my little boy's dream come true.
I'll sign off now before I start to cry.
May God ride with you. Ten-four, and goodbye."

This has to be the cheesiest cheese that ever cheesed.

Like a beautiful child growing up free and wild......


AGGGHHH!!!

...that song is by far the biggest piece of crap I've heard in a long time- a very long time.

Find yourself a girl and settle down
Live a simple life in a quiet town

Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)
Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

So steady as she goes

Your friends have shown a kink in the single life
You've had too much to think, now you need a wife


ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???? THIS IS WHAT PASSES FOR MUSIC TODAY?

I don't know if it's the corniest song ever, but it makes me want to open a vein. :banghead:

Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams

I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I'm amazed by you

The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me
Baby you surround me
You touch every place in my heart
Oh, it feels like the first time, every time
I want to spend the whole night in your eyes

Chorus

Solo

Every little thing that you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I'm amazed by you

:puke:

I want to hold you in parentheses
--------------------------------
I Love You Period - Dan Baird

Back when I was goin' to school,
I never learned a thing
All I did was daydream,
a-waitin' for the bell to ring
I had a certain teacher,
I always tried to impress her
When she stood up in the classroom,
I would mentally undress her
Then one day I decided,
that I would write a little letter
She said the spellin' was a masterpiece,
the punctuation could be better
I understood what she was saying,
I got the gist of her sentiment
She said "I don't mean to be degrading,
"but here's the way that it should've went:"

Chorus) I love you period
Do you love me question mark
Please, please exclamation point
I want to hold you in parentheses
I love you period
Do you love me question mark
Please, please exclamation point
I want to hold you in parentheses

Right on up to high school,
people said I was a writin' fool
All my letters became really great,
with punctuation that was never late
But I was havin' trouble meetin' girls,
I never knew the things to say
Soon I had 'em all overwhelmed,
when they heard me talk this way, like this:

Chorus) I love you period
Do you love me question mark
Please, please exclamation point
I want to hold you in parentheses
I love you period
Do you love me question mark
Please, please exclamation point
I want to hold you in parentheses

Achy Breaky Heart.

There I said it.

Now dance bitches.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EebObs-vC0

Bust out the lighters, baby! :P

I got a nickel, shiny and new
I'm gonna buy me all kinds of candy
That's what I'm gonna do


I'd put "Playground In My Mind" right there next to "Sing" as the corniest ever


:puke:

"Playground" is in a class all by itself. Even as an unjaded kid, I thought that song was fucking ridiculous.

She comes down from Yellow Mountain
On a dark, flat land she rides
On a pony she named Wildfire
With a whirlwind by her side
On a cold Nebraska night

Oh, they say she died one winter
When there came a killing frost
And the pony she named Wildfire
Busted down its stall
In a blizzard he was lost

She ran calling Wildfire
By the dark of the moon I planted
But there came an early snow
There's been a hoot-owl howling by my window now
For six nights in a row
She's coming for me, I know
And on Wildfire we're both gonna go

We'll be riding Wildfire

On Wildfire we're gonna ride
Gonna leave sodbustin' behind
Get these hard times right on out of our minds
Riding Wildfire


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2Q_89EL-js

we went on vacation out west once. I haven't been able to stand it ever since then.

but someone beat me to it. There are really too many to list, and who can really qualify the all-time corniest??

I fell into a diabetic coma upon hearing "Sometimes when we touch" oh, yuck! And for all you Carpenter justifiers, you must be pretty young--if you'd had to listen to that schlock being played on Top 40 radio in the 70s you'd hate Karen's voice as much as I do. I mean, she was actually a really fine drummer, but their stuff was so without rhythm, who would ever know? Like musick dipped in Clorox!

Amazing how much corn came out of the 70s isn't it? Too bad we couldn't've made ethanol outta it back then!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ol6vr5_CY1o

Celine Dion, Kenny G, Michael Bolton, Nelson, etc. Almost all of the most craptacular 'singers' in one lame song.

Friends don't eat friends.












(well...not in the fork and spoon way...)

Reached #2 on the Billboard chart in 1973...

When this old world gets me down
And there's no love to be found
I close my eyes and soon I find
I'm in a playground in my mind
Where the children laugh and the children play
And we sing a song all day.

"My name is Michael, I got a nickel
I got a nickel, shiny and new
I'm gonna buy me all kinds of candy
That's what I'm gonna do"

See the little children
Living in a world that I left behind
Happy little children
In the playround in my mind.

Oh the wonders that I find
In the playground in my mind
In a world that used to be
Close your eyes and follow me
Where the children laugh and the children play
And we sing a song all day.

"My girl is Cindy
When we get married, we're gonna have a baby or two
We're gonna let them visit their grandma
That's what we're gonna do."

"My name is Cindy
When we get married, were gonna have a baby or two
We're gonna let them vist their grandma
That's what we're gonna do."

See the little children
See how they're playing so happy
In the playround in my mind.

Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
La la la la la la la.