I'm bored and tired. Someone tell me some cat stories.

I'm always up for a cat story - they're much funnier than dog stories (I love em both, but cats provide much more unintentional humor)

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=7050031

:rofl:

Thanks

The Cats Diary

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan ......

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait. It is only a matter of time.

... we used to drive around, everywhere with the little guy. He would sit on the dashboard of our old car. Once, when we needed to stop at convenience store, there was a girl standing outside who sort of smiled at "Bear" as we pulled up (after all, he was just the cutest kitten). Then, the little guy moved. The girl nearly jumped out of her skin!! lol When my husband left the car, to go into the store, she explained that she thought he wasn't real until he moved.

Well... it was funny at the time. I don't think my writing skills are sufficient enough to really do it justice. We still laugh about it, to this day.

Bear, as a kitten:

I borrowed an air mattress from Mom. Being eager to get started, I grabbed the mattress and headed to my new digs uptown.

Unaware of this, Mom attempted to reach me in NJ -- nothing doing. No phone yet at new place. So, as moms do, she got all frantic figuring I was missing or something.

At this point Buddi the calico cat enters the picture. Seeing Mom get frantic, Buddi went over to the closet door where the mattress had been and started scratching on it. Eventually Mom went over and opened the door; seeing that the mattress was gone, she finally figured out what had happened, and got, er, "un-frantic".

Since we got her fixed, my Russian Blue/Tabby cross has been lap kitty, purrs and gives the other two cats long, extended baths whether they like it or not. They're terrified. :scared:

who had the temprement her named implied. She was a domestic short hair with a LOT of Siamese in her -- complete attitude, would stare at you with great disdain and hostility through slit eyes.

I was talking to a neighbor one weekend when she said to me, "Did you hear what your cat did?"

I know there's a story there some where and it is not going to be pretty.

Seems ol' Momcat got it in her mind to go visiting with another neighbor (who I do now know well at all) up the hill (I live in SF on a very steep hill). It seems they were having a BBQ in the backyard. MC sat on their doorstep and waited until a guest arrived and then slipped in through the open door. She waltzed through the house and into the back where everyone was sitting around a picnic table. Ms Thing then proceeded to jump on the table and head right for the plate of freshly BBQ'd chicken wings, grabs one in her mouth, and trots right back out the way she came.

I can't imagine how utterly bizarre it must have been for those poor folks to see this wench of a cat invade their space and steal in broad daylight from them! Thankfully they had a good sense of humor about the whole thing -- I hope. :P

shit, forgot the rest

Went to the Fur Ball once....................

:hi: