I need some advice on how to handle a workaholic

There is a person I care about deeply who is a workaholic.
Doesn't matter the job....the job comes first.

The reasoning behind giving their all to the job is to accomplish the goal of "living well"..or "living the life I feel I deserve"

The problem is that as we all know your career can get screwed no matter what...you can be a workaholic and not get promoted because people are jealous, or because you do your job so well that your superiors don't see any need to promote you...there are a lot of reasons.

In this case the person has a good job...a very good job, the problem is that the ducks aren't lining up in a row the way the person wants it too..and this person has every right to feel bad about this because this person has done a lot of work. The issue is that now the workaholic is mad and a bit depressed...

It is the same thing ...over and over...

Now the people in this workaholic's life aren't pushing this person to get more...in fact they try hard to make the workaholic take a break and take a breather......but it is getting to be worrisome.

Instead of being happy with the situation (a good job, good salary, loving family)..etc...this person is pissed..and nothing else matters but the job and whether the job satisfaction is where it is supposed to be....along with a higher salary..etc

I just don't know what to do...

Take a look at what is on the market. Get that recognition and that promotion with a new company. Don't be in a hurry. If you choose well it's like a breath of fresh air. Don't let some company or some jerk be the gatekeeper to your career and happiness. Tell your friend to be strong and take charge of his own destiny.

nobody can change an addict, nobody

either walk away if you don't want to deal or decide if it's worth it to you to put up with the addiction

there are lots worse things to be addicted to than work, so you might want to look on the bright side and find ways to entertain and amuse yourself when the workaholic is active in his addiction

You can't change other people and I'm always amazed at the number of people who think you can. The only thing you can do is let them know how you feel and allow them to make their own decisions. If their actions cause you heartache and misery, you distance yourself.

I refuse to be anyone's keeper or conscience. The only people I will be a mother to are my children. Other adults get to make their own decisions. When they start negatively affecting me, I will take my energy elsewhere.

when in reality he is very successful by all standards...has it all but can't see it...

this person already has an ulcer, has lost weight due to working so much that he forgets to eat...etc

But it doesn't change the fact that you can't really do much for them. I know - I've been on both sides of that.

You don't say if this is a family member or a friend but obviously it's someone you care deeply about. Like I said, about all you can do is let them know how you feel. The rest is up to them. Sorry. :hug:

No ulcer from me, but I became pale, my shoulders slumped forward...forgot to eat all the time or prioritized it very low...I was successful, still am but it didn't seem like enough, I always felt like I was on the verge of being able to relax but never quite seemed to get there. Turns out I was compensating for my failed relationship by working harder, which of course was making my relationship harder to maintain. Quite the vicious cycle. I was depressed. Not sad..just driven for no reason. Mostly to not have to think about why I felt little satisfaction with my life though everything seemed to be going good, at least on the surface. Sounds like this individual is not dealing with his emotional needs properly...sometimes you don't see what's in front of your nose. Sometimes you need a change of perspective and it's a tough process.

it's a way of saying someone is addicted to something. Addictions are about being in flight from reality and/or from oneself, one's feelings. That is something different than working hard to achieve a standard of living. I'm not clear on which situation it is, of course how could I be, but I guess you all have to figure it out. The person needs to deal with their feelings, that much is clear. Maybe this is a wake up call...if they are depressed and actually do seek help they can deal with the feelings they are running from in the first place, if they are a true workaholic.

And my wife handled it by leaving me. Now, I don't care too much about work or getting ahead. I think of the times I spent with her and how much I'd love to have those times back.

Not telling you what to do of course, just sharing my own experience. I don't think I would've 'got it' any other way, unfortunately.