is it an argument if only one of you is mad?

what constitutes an argument at your house?

is one person's lively and stimulating discussion another person's angry dispute?

:shrug:

but if I start arguing with myself then I should know that I have lost it.

what about with friends or internet conversations?

otherwise it is a rant, right? :shrug:

'they' call it an argument.

and

'you' never even realized it.

'you' thought you were just having conversation.

what you're talking about. But then, I believe some people think if you disagree it's an argument, rather than a discussion. Raised voices seem not to be a factor.

This happened to me, and I was dumbfounded! Clearly a misperception.

unless they post in CAPS ...ALL CAPS...how can you tell that they are yelling :shrug:

i had no idea they were upset!

my lively discussion is their argument -- who knew?

look in the mirror and ask myself, was I having an argument or was I having conversation. If I can look myself in the eye and say that I was just having a conversation and not trying to stir things up, then I can safely say it is all their problem. If I can't do that, then I have to own my part in it.

I'm a person that has been known to take either side in an argument/discussion about things political just for fun.

I have made it a goal not to do that anymore, and I can't remember the last time I did.

In fact I have become much less of an arguer in general I think.

:shrug:

that's my .02 worth

i think i understand...just trying to make sure.

what if you ask questions and the answers make them uncomfortable?

sometimes i've just been a mischievous little imp, i used to love to argue with my republican co-workers, or even some moderate leaning ones, take any side to any argument just to be difficult :evilgrin:

if you ask questions and the answers make them uncomfortable then it is their job to say they don't like the discussion I guess.

i can play devils advocate with the best of them too, and often do at work. other times i'm the one who is floating 10 feet off the ground with a wild idea and someone else is grounding me with their devil's advocacy.

:hi:

discussion...then it is not 'my' fault that i have no idea that it was an argument, right?

but what do i know :P

but i would go with a yes...

but, what do i know:shrug:

:rofl:

:pals:

I seem to attract these "exchange of energy" types, that get angry and don't know what to do about it. Something must be done, someone must be at fault, because they are angry. Because they are angry, someone has to listen to them quack quack quack. Doesn't matter if it has nothing to do with me, they need a repository to put that anger in. Once they see the anger manifest in someone else (because they've hounded them to the point of exasperation) it's like they've 'gotten rid of it' somehow, and they seem to feel better. It's the strangest f*cking phenomenon, as if you can actually 'transfer' your anger into another person. :shrug:

(yes, I'm fully aware I'm codependent, lol)

:hug:

do you ever feel like you are a 'mirror'?

that somehow you are 'exposing' them to an image of their self that perhaps is not in their comfort zone?

so, although you are perfectly comfortable discussing the issue 'they' fine their self very UNcomfortable?

on further reflection yes I've had people come after me for stuff that I feel now was total projection. I think in relationships it's like a set of fun-house mirrors with humanity richocheting everywhere. I've had people I hardly know accuse me of things like manipulation and once I got to know them better realize how manipulative they themselves are that that was complete projection on their part. So yes I believe that happens, even on a very casual level, in human interactions and I truly believe it is inevitable in relationships. It is just so important to me now that the person I am involved with know their faults and have some level of self awareness about their defects (aye, that yes, they DO have defects, encountered a few who really seem to believe they have none). Because otherwise it's just about futile, at least in romantic relationships, and you are going to end up being abused if the person can't see their own flaws and blames you for everything.

it is a growing process...

and growing pains are just that: painful

:hug:

thanks, idge

that's my rule.

I get into a lot of arguments with my girlfriend.

Almost no fights.

a fight involves physical touching of an unpleasant nature,,,such as hitting, slapping, biting, ahir pulling...an altercation.

that is SO0o0o0 cute :rofl:

too bad the disk is full :rofl:

:rofl:

:applause:

:hug:

I'm passionate. I have convictions. We'll get to talking about something and I will air those convictions. I'm not yelling. I'm not angry. But I am passionate, logical and loquacious.

He thinks I'm arguing. Or mad. I find it all maddening because I'm all set for a good, stimulating debate (which I've never thought of as an argument) and he just throws up his hands and walks away, muttering, "You're right! Forget I ever said anything!"

Leaving me all revved up with no place to go. x(

so frustrating, isn't it?

and even if an argument does break out,,,i have usually forgotten the paticuliars by the next day.

:shrug:

:hi: