Anybody out there have a pain in the butt husband who would rather be mean than breathe?

Mine just took off and left for awhile and will probably come back madder and meaner than when he left, if that is possible. The hard part is that I never know WHY he is mad. He justs
seems to like being pissed. I guess I will go out and share a hamburger with my dog.

"You cannot reason with an unreasonable mind." If he is determined to be mad,
he will be mad with or without any input from you. Sorry, honey.

:hug:

Sometimes I wish that he would leave while he was upset. Instead he follows me around the house making noises to signify that he is upset and that I should do something about it. At this point in our marriage, I have realized that there isn't really anything that I can do about it until he is ready to settle down. Fortunately, he usually does talk to me. It is usually the case where he has been thinking about something negative for a while and then I accidently offend him in a way that relates to what he was thinking about. I have tried to get him to the doctor because I think that he has depression or bi polar, but he refuses to go. Perhpas your husband has that problem too. Does he ever let you know what upset him.

Sweet and funny one day, sullen and withdrawn the next day. The only thing I can do about it is to take care of myself and live my own life until he's back to normal. (If you can get him to see a therapist, it will have to be something he wants to do, because he'll fake it with the doctor and be told there's nothing wrong with him.) Good luck, hon.

at any rate - no one could do anything RIGHT, etc, etc. He has been battling cancer for the past 10 years and I had the Dr. order an anti-depressant for him and it has worked wonders. He is on Paxil and I give it to him religiously every night. It has brought back the guy that I fell in love with.
Best wishes to you. I've been there. Usually it was ME who left in the car to drive around for a while - wishing I could just take off for parts unknown.
:hug:

Meaner than a rattlesnake, and then all lovey-dovey afterwards. I'm glad I don't have to deal with that anymore -- 20 years was enough.

First question: Are you afraid of him? That would be something of concern.

I am sorry to be the one who tells you the news. A partner who is constantly critical is emotionally abusive. It is abuse, just as certain as physical abuse is abuse.

I finally realized after years of living with someone who was always mad that statistically speaking, I could not be wrong ALL the time. I learned about emotional battering and realized the truth of my situation.

Is there someone you can talk to about this? I urge you to confide in someone.

Would your husband go to counseling?

Do not forget that you have many willing ears and sympathetic hearts here on DU.

that stinks, and as i don't know what to say let me just :hug:

I got sick of tip-toeing around wondering if any of the completly innocuous things I did or said were going to set him off again. I also got sick of the fact that I was supposed to be sensitive to his moods and desires but my happiness didn't seem to mean Jack.

I'm sorry. :hug:

life is too short.

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