Winners of the Wacky Warning Label Contest

M-LAW ANNOUNCES WINNERS OF SEVENTH ANNUAL WACKY WARNING LABEL CONTEST

Fishing lure which warns, "Harmful if swallowed," catches one of the top awards

A five-inch fishing lure which sports three steel hooks and cautions users that it is, "Harmful if swallowed," has been identified as one of the nation's wackiest warning labels in an annual contest sponsored by a consumer watchdog group.

The Wacky Warning Label Contest, now in it's seventh year, is conducted by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, M-LAW, to reveal how lawsuits, and fear of lawsuits, have prompted many manufacturers to issue warnings against even obvious misuses of consumer products.

The winning labels were selected from a list of M-LAW's finalists by listeners of the Dick Purtan show on Detroit radio station, WOMC-FM 104.3. The fishing lure warning actually placed fourth.

GRAND PRIZE The $500 grand prize for the wackiest label was awarded to Robert Brocone of Euclid, Ohio for a warning he found on a bottle of drain cleaner which says: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product." Brocone also wins a copy of the book, "The Death of Common Sense," by Philip K. Howard, chairman of the legal reform group, Common Good.

And, for the first time, the winner of the top prize receives a special edition wacky warning label coffee mug produced by the Common Good coalition. A recent Newsweek magazine cover story reported on Common Good's campaign to focus national attention on the impact legal fear is having in our society.

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http://www.mlaw.org/wwl/

:hi:

Consumer Goods

In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products :

1. On a blanket from Taiwan -
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

3. On a Taiwanese shampoo -
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

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http://kaila.linart.pl/humor/consumer.htm

sice we are removing the survival of the fitest and are allowing the ones who would have been eaten by bears, we are getting stupider.that will be our downfall. and now we have child safey seats!!! when will this end?

Still the all-time classic. :)

Happy FUN BALL!
-only $14.95-


Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.

Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

Happy Fun Ball Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.


Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:
Itching
Vertigo
Dizziness
Tingling in extremities
Loss of balance or coordination
Slurred speech
Temporary blindness
Profuse sweating
Heart palpitations

If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.

When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration...

Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.

Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Happy Fun Ball

ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!

http://www.happyfunball.com/hfb.html

Thanks for the well-needed laugh!

:toast:

engrish.com
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"Harmful if swallowed" on a 5" fishing hook may be funny - but its really a set-up by the Conservatives. Get people to ridicule the apparently obvious excesses in product warning labels - then in the future they may not have to warn consumers about the deleterious effects of the lead paint on your child's' toy.

"Common Sense" isn't all that common. Especially when we have people for a myriad of different cultures, languages, and backgrounds - from all over the world - trying to work and live together.

This Brazilian artist, Juan Crespo, drew his own takes on those labels.

(Starts on page 10 and page 11 under "Wacky labels")

http://yerf.com/cresjuan/index.htm

Like this one: