What's with having babies?

I guess I don't understand why some people keep having babies and what's so great about having lots of children.
I know one family where the woman has four kids from four different fathers. Her son and two of her three daughters all have become parents in their teens. Another person I happen to be friendly with just announced his wife is about to have number five. Is there some sort of biological imperative? Do some people enoy being pregnant? What do people who keep having children do with them once they're here? Read somewhere recently that if you have an annual income of $70,00 it would cost nearly $300,000 to raise each child till adulthood. That alone would stop me in my tracks. I know my questions sound stupid but I honestly can't understand this.

Having a dog is trying enough for me. I can't imagine having a kid.
Duckie

If you don't have kids then you don't have to deal with some of these issues that people deal with when they have kids.You choose to deal with when you go on about it.

In fact, they enjoy being pregnant more than they enjoy raising the resulting child.

I don't get it, either. It certainly isn't for me.

What I really don't understand is why the offspring of a teen mom will become a parent during his/her own teen years. Apparently growing up in poverty wasn't so bad for them.

:shrug:

Her father died when she was young. Her father had been an only child. His parents were already dead. Her mother had one brother who never married or had children. She did have her maternal grandparents until her midteens. They told her about her their families and ancestors, when there was more of them. She met my grandfather who didn't have a very large family either. This, and the fact that their peers were having several children, influenced them to have 6 children. As far as I can tell from what my father and aunts and uncles say, they were having good at parenting several children. They encouraged them both to do things together and develop their own interests.
Now that the children are grown and have families of their own, my grandmother organizes family holiday meals at all major holidays and some kind of summer activity. She is active in her children and 15 grandchildren's lives, as was my grandfather until he died three years ago. I think that having a lot of family helped her rebound from my grandfather's death more easily.
I think what helped them be successful parents of six children were that they were above average in patience, intelligence, fairness, and optimism. They were also more egalitarian than the average couple of their generation.
If one is able to emtionally and financially support several children, I see nothing wrong with that. While it may be environmentally irresposible if everyone did it, it seems popular to have less children now in America as a whole.

posted under the wrong account

Having children by more than one father is something you disagree with or just big families in general?

I original planned on having 3 children with my ex-husband, but after that, when there were problems between us and I got pregnant again, I didn't feel comfortable personally with terminating, so I have four with him. I also have a step-son with my current husband. I don't planned on more children, but being only 35, haven't ruled it out completely. It's not all that unusual to want to have a family and we're all in different circumstances. :shrug:

I posed the question because I am genuinely puzzled. The case of the woman with four different kids from four different fathers is that she wasn't married to any of them. they fathered the kids then disappeared. None of her kids who have recently become teen parents (her oldest daught became pregnant, not married, at 16, son at 18 fathered a kid with a 16 year old) and her 17 year old who isn't married but has a "boyfriend" just had a baby. There is a 13 yeqr old who will probably also be having a baby soon as she is already sexuallyt precocious.

I don't have a problem with large families provided you can provide a stable environment while they grow up, support them, and raise them to be good citizens. In your case you were married and the marriage didn't pan out. In the case I am citing, there appears to be a revolving door of "boyfriends" which doesn't suggest a good environment for kids growing up. I have this exercise of trying to learn to walk in someone else's shoes and have to admit I can't get this one to fit! Do people who make all these kids like children? is it even socialy responsible to have more children than one can really afford?

It seems like this woman isn't responsible, nor does the mom (or the men in her life) provide an example for her children. She doubtfully provides much in the way of education and guidance in terms of responsible sexual behavior for her teen-aged children. Sometimes marriages and relationships don't work out and there are children. Sometimes people may move on and have children with other people. The person you are talking about seems to be on the extreme end of this though.

Is it socially responsible to have more children than you can afford? Probably not. Does this person really like children? I have no clue. I guess I see threads like this and suddenly it becomes a dumping ground for anyone who 1.) has children or 2.) anyone who has more than the number of children DU deems acceptable. It's kind of an old story on here and sometimes I get a bit frustrated (especially as someone who is responsible and can afford it).

Double post glitch.

Then again, I've been sterilized twice, so I wouldn't know! I guess some people like it and some don't know how to keep it from happening.

I wouldn't dream of giving the next 85-90 years to anyone, especially not someone I'd care a bit about.
Certain inlaws of mine are just wild about soft little babies and toddlers though, they think I'm not having one because I have something against the precious little dears.. they can't imagine my real reason and since they're not smart enough I don't care now if they ever understand :)

Why do people get a dog then leave it tied up for its entire life? Why do they get a car and beat it into the ground? Why do they let their house fall apart around them?

In a lot of cases, it's because they're irresponsible. In a lot of cases, it's because they have never had any decent role models. In a lot of cases, it's some other reason. I know a woman who had six kids and her main reason for it seemed to be that she felt they'd give her some validation for her life. Other people have children because they genuinely love kids and want a large family - as someone who had 5 siblings, I can tell you there's a lot that's nice about having that large family (and a lot that isn't). And yes, there are people who do enjoy being pregnant - I did.

I don't pretend to know why people do things but I also try not to judge them and their motives. A lot of people don't really consider the expense of having children, figuring that it spreads out over time and they'll figure it out on the way. And those figures may or may not be accurate - it depends on what you consider as essential in raising kids. There are plenty of poorer people who have raised families on a lot less than that and have raised successful kids who paid their own way through college.

The thing about trying to walk in other people's shoes is that you don't really know what those shoes are. It's very hard to understand someone else's motivations all the time and a lot of time people don't even know what those motivations are.

of all those new parents falling deeply in love with the little guys and gals. That is your answer.

And can be trained to become child stars from whom their parents can steal.

:shrug:

:rofl:

Bwa ha ha! ... Okay, I must drag my daughter to her audition now ...

You don't need to know why they want to. Any more than we need to know why you don't. It's none of our business. And it's none of yours. Everybody's reasons are different. They may even not have reasons.

And if everybody did a cost/benefit analysis before starting a family I reckon the human race would have died out a long time ago.

...hilarious article from The Onion.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/woman_overjoyed_by_giant_uterine

Yes. I am one of them.

What do people who keep having children do with them once they're here? Oh, we stick 'em in a display case and charge the neighbors a buck each to view 'em. ;)

And, I wish I had more. Love, love, love kids. My house is always full of them. Love it. As much as I complain, I really do love it.

I *knew* you ripped me off. :cry:

I'm not going to do it, for many MANY reasons, but if I were a different person I might just keep popping them out. I like being pregnant, I like my children a lot -- they're really great, interesting people -- and I actually do miss having a baby around the house.

I have two, and they're worth however much money. All my money.

Who else is going to wash my feet and feed me grapes?

:shrug:

of having people to play board games and cards with.

I do like having youngins fetch things for me however.

:shrug:

I always thought she was a little out there, somedays. When I asked why, she said, "No one used birth control, and it didn't occur to us to just not have sex. Oh well."

Great.

:scared:

If people want kids, fine, but people who don't want them ought to be able to not have any without getting flack for it. As I always say, there are 6 billion (and more!) people on this planet, and I don't need to add to that figure.

just in time for the mass-extinction and monumental trashing of our one planet.. Hope the tots all appreciate the future their parents are giving them :scared:

Shit, somedays I just want to go crawl back into my mother's womb, though I doubt she'd appreciate that. :P

Some women simply enjoy pregnancy so much they just can't seem to get enough to it. And some parents both enjoy small children so much that as their kids get older they keep having more babies to re-experience it all. Then they end up with 4 or 5 or 6 kids and discover they can't afford to take them places the kids want to go, and don't have anything set aside to help them with higher education after they get out of high school.

We once had a babysitter whose parents were like this. It was sad.

It's this sort of thing I truly can't grasp. Is this a form of achievement I don't understand?

"An Arkansas couple had a baby daughter Thursday — their 17th child and seventh girl — and the pair say they're still not ready to give it a rest.

Jennifer Danielle was born at 10:01 a.m. at a hospital in Rogers, Arkansas, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar said in an interview.

"We'd love to have more," Michelle said, referring to baby girls. "We love the ruffles and lace . . .Among the "fun facts" listed on Discovery Health's Web page devoted to the Duggars: A baby has been born in every month except June; the Duggars have gone through an estimated 90,000 diapers, and Michelle has been pregnant for 126 months — or 10.5 years — of her life."



http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20097968/

They're email is on the family's website. I wrote asking them if they could imagine the mountain their diapers have made. I also asked if they'd imagined the next 85-90 years their latest baby will see but from the looks of it they're counting on the rapture so the Earth's future won't matter anyway :p I left that last part out of the letter, I was as sweet as I could be really! They didn't write me back :cry:

kids happen :)

...tend to have large families, either because of an emphasis on it or because of attitudes towards birth-control. Mormons and conservative Catholics come to mind...

Thanks for the reference. If people really read this Williams would probably really get slammed.

I don't have any, but wouldn't mind having one of my own.

There will always be people who have no business having babies making babies.

There will always be people who have no business wearing spandex wearing spandex.

There will always be people who have no business spending money on lottery tickets buying lottery tickets.

when a mommie and a daddy love each other very much...

:rofl:

that's often the primary motive for breeders. Not to mention a very selfish act.

Go figure.

you're feigned stupidity to invoke a response is obvious and juvenile. :eyes:

or perhaps you're not faking it.

And you are definitely not faking it.

compensation for their worthless meaningless lives
that's often the primary motive for breeders. Not to mention a very selfish act.

... what is the primary motive for non breeders?

It never ceases to amaze me that on these 'baby' threads, the vast majority of replies are from those who have none, and therefore, cannot possibly construct an informed opinion.

Despite that fact, however, there is NEVER a shortage of comments like the one above or others such as:

7 billion soon)
just in time for the mass-extinction and monumental trashing of our one planet.. Hope the tots all appreciate the future their parents are giving them

AND

Some of it's simply a form of selfishness

AND

It's this sort of thing I truly can't grasp. Is this a form of achievement I don't understand?

AND

They're email is on the family's website. I wrote asking them if they could imagine the mountain their diapers have made.


Yeah, yeah, we get it.. us 'breeders'. WE, and our children, are the reason the planet is going to shit, right?? It must be a terrific responsibility, bearing the weight of all the annoying offspring of others, mucking up your otherwise Utopian world.

How naive and, dare I say, childish??

-chef-

but I am helping raise two children. the issue was about people who think it's their "right" to have a many as they can without any though of consequences. it all all about self indigence, and yes, a complete lack of self-achievement

now who's naive? someone say, you? or are we hitting too close to your paternal nerves

wow the ignore list is growing exponentially today

I'M the one who's the grandstanding idiot??

Perhaps you could benefit from a 'reading refresher' course.

If you were hitting too close to the nerve, it would be a maternal nerve, fuckstick.

And you'll have to excuse me if being told the only reason I decided to have a child was to compensate for my worthless, meaningless life.

But what do I know?? Im just a 'breeder'.

What a small little world you do live in.

-chef-

Some women enjoy being pregnant. I stopped at two because I most certainly didn't enjoy the process. I had other reasons, but let's just say that not every woman loves pregnancy. Some do, though.

I don't quite get the figures given. I know one family who lives on one income and has four children. All four are going/have gone to private school from K-8. They are very frugal, but the kids are all cared for quite well and they aren't wearing rags. They just don't give their kids new gameboys. Sports equipment (like bikes and ski equipment) gets handed down from one child to the next. Two of the kids share a room. I doubt the parents have updated their room in the last 10 years.

If you're determined to keep up with the Joneses, it'd be quite difficult to do without spending that $300k for each child. If you're willing to live frugally (while still providing kids with "enough"), then I suppose one could manage to raise a large family for the cost of maybe one or two kids.