I feel dirty...creepy....icky...

This morning at the post office a man started staring at me - REALLY staring at me. It made me nervous.

I'm dressed kinda nice today, since Mr. Debi and I are going out to dinner to celebrate our 11th anniversary after work. Nothing too special (knit top, capris :P, cute little mules with pointy toes) and I did my hair kinda pretty today). And I'm not hot. I mean it. I'm a little overweight. And I can't stop traffic - I've tried!

Anyway, I just ignored him and started walking out of the post office. He followed too close behind (in my personal space - creepy-like). And then he said Hi so I said Hi. I said "I hope I make it to my car before it rains" and he said "You look really good today". :wow: WHAT??? I don't even know this guy!! I just said thanks and picked up the pace.

Luckily his car was closer than mine so he had to quit following me to get in his car. I hustled to my car (with Mr. Debi inside) and said "I need to take a shower, that was icky and dirty". Mr. Debi said, "Why didn't you say, I have to go, my husband is in the car"?


DUH x(...see, that's how creeped out I was!

:scared:

:hide:

:wow:

:silly:

I would have told you to meet me and Mr. Debi for coffee at the cafe up the street! :bounce:

:D

ANYway, pointy toes can oftentimes make nice-nice with round genitals. When done at high velocity...well, you don't need to be Einstein to figure that one out.

(we were in the middle of the post office and there were plenty of people around).

I just felt that he was TOO CLOSE and STARED for a long time.

I mean if I was hot or dressed sexy or something I'd get it, but neither of those apply to me (today ;)).

He was just....weird! Ick

The guy may have intended to follow you out of the lot but didn't because he saw that you weren't alone. Trust your spidey sense. It felt icky and dirty for a reason.

He's my hero :loveya:

Monday morning about 9:30 - I'd really appreciate it! :7

That'll keep him from staring at me!

Prepare to see a...

:evilgrin:

Hey, I know where that is. I like the old train station next to the bike trail. Nice little town.

:hi:

RL

That's where the hookers hang out :blush:

Come on...

RL

they hang out by the depot and behind the Wonderbread factory. At least that's where the Police make the stings. Just an FYI for when you pass through town (and btw - it's not super small - there's about 70,000 people living there).

never knew it was that big.

:hi:

RL

Or, as Pete Townshend says, kick him in the balls and send him off.

I was just so creeped out by his staring and walking so close :scared:

Also, I was headed to the car where Mr. Debi was so I all I could think about was getting there.

Hope NOT to see him again!

because some of our DU guys are still having trouble grasping that ogling women is often received as creepy, invasive, and uncomfortable. This is a good reminder for them.

In fact there are some folks that are there on a regular basis and we say hi and comment on the weather. I've never felt creepy (even when men have said things like "you have a nice smile" or "you look like you're in a good mood today" - I've alwasy thought they were just being nice and I've been nice back). But this guy STARED and followed TOO CLOSE. And was CREEPY! :yoiks:

Seriously, I hate that borderline-stalking shit. I would have replied to his icky "you look really good today" comment with, "I beg your pardon - do I know you?" complete with icy stare.

But that's just me. :D

:hi: I must learn to channel my inner Skittles!

park playing with them when a young man in his 20s, who was at a picnic table with a couple, got up and sauntered cockily toward me, obviously intending to try to chat me up. Though I was in my mid-thirties at the time, I was quite attractive and much younger-looking then, but I have always had in my repertoire a look that can melt metal.

As he got closer I gave him that look, and when he was close enough I snarled, "Are we bothering you?"

He faltered and said, "Uh, I just thought we could talk."

I hissed back, "I don't think so." He scurried back to his friends with his tail tucked between his legs.

I gathered up my little ones and left the park, thoroughly pissed that our playtime had been interrupted by this little SOB who couldn't imagine that he didn't have the right to try to pick up any young woman he saw, even if she was at the park playing with her children.

Men need to respect the fact that we have a right to use public spaces without being harrassed by any idiot who thinks we look cute.

I probably would have ignored him, unless eye contact was made. Walking quickly away was probably the best idea. There's no need to give him any info about yourself, including your marital status.

Sorry you ran into him... :hug:

Yes, eye contact was made - usually when someone is staring and I look directly at them they quit staring - this guy just kept staring :(

"WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU LOOKING AT" would have worked nicely when you got nervous. Also, you don't have to be a size zero implanted made-up bubblehead to attract attention from men. NO INDEED. :D

seriously

my new motto is going to be wwsd?

I turned around and barked, WHY THE F*** ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME? And the creep promptly left; yes INDEED.

That would have gotten some attention!

I've been going to the post office pretty much every day since I started working in Downtown Waterloo in 1991. I know most of the Postal clerks there and many of the letter carriers - all very nice folks. (Heck, one year several of them were whining b/c I was headed on vacation back home so I sent them a postcard!) If I would have started yelling I would have gotten 'customer assistance' locket-split!

to mail packages to troops in Iraq and Afghanistan so I'm known by name too. I'm pretty easy going until someone makes me mad - like that gal yakking on a cell phone behind me in line - I said to her, DO YOU F***ING MIND? and she hastily hung up. :D

I don't want to know what you did last night or when you are supposed to pick up the kids or what happend at the Dr, x( HANG UP - DO YOUR DAMN BUSINESS - QUIT STARING AT ME....oh, wait, that was for the creepy guy.

out. Normally, I like a compliment as well as the next person, but this guy was just so persistent and...my husband was about 10 feet away.

It's like these guys took assertiveness training at Stalkers R Us :scared:

I just don't like the sound of that.

but if I do? :scared: I will ask one of the postal clerks to walk me to my car (unless Mr. Debi is waiting for me like he is 75% of the time)

It pisses me off when people see that kind of behavior and do nothing. It leaves you on your own against a creepy guy.

Not that you probably needed any help, but it pisses me off when anyone is left alone to deal with a potentially bad situation.

Someone near him should have said something, just to let him know that he was being watched and couldn't get away with being an asshole.
x(

No loud words, no body contact and no signs that she want's help from outside. On what base should the benevolent stranger intervene?

Don't look at her? Don't talk to her? Don't make compliments?

but this wasn't a compliment - it was a creepy comment after him staring and following me too close.

But, had I asked for help or made (staring) eye contact w/another person I probably would have had assistance.

All this happened w/in a couple minute span or so - out of the car, to the P.O. Box, creepy guy starting, head toward the door, creepy guy follows, creepy guy talks, I talk back, creepy guy says creepy thing, I feel dirty, creepy guy goes to his car, I go to Mr. Debi (thankfully!)

I was too weirded out to say that - just trying to get to Mr. Debi AND FAST!

I understand. That asshole was counting on you being caught off guard. He's a masher, I think they used to call it that? He wanted to make you feel uncomfortable. Some are more abscene, but it's the same evil impulse. That's my take anyway.

Sorry that happened. It's wrong. Way wrong.

I dunno I'd be reluctant to kick somebody's nads up into their brain pan if all they did was to say I looked nice.

I'd also be hard pressed to chill anybody down too much (even IF they were acting kind of creepy in a non-specific sort of way.) Body space and comfort zones vary a lot by culture, and even by location. We Midwesterners are pretty uptight with anybody that moves in too close to us.

With my husband in the car (within screaming range) I'd probably have done exactly what you did by moving away with all speed.

Now, the guy that followed me out of a bar a few years ago (who grabbed me by the arm and tried to drag me into a car!) I handled a bit differently. I broke his nose while screaming like a demon.

My only mistake was that I didn't take him all the way down, because he was gonna come AFTER me. At that point, one of my guy pals came into it and explained that he was about to get his ass kicked by a chick who went to dojo regularly. The guy fled.

You did fine today. Don't fret, and if the man EVER lays hands on you kick the crap out of him just like Skittles would!


Laura

I'd have yelled REAL LOUD had he touched me. :scared:

that he's observed you on other days?

Not trying to creep you out; it may have just been a poor choice of words from someone genuinely paying a compliment, but the wording does strike me as odd.

But I don't recall ever seeing him before :shrug:

now and make a little note if/when you see him again. If you got a creepy vibe from the guy, it's worth being alert (but not paranoid or panicked).

Oh, and have one of these: :hug:

:thumbsup:

Yeah, I'll be looking around Monday. :yoiks:

I get that way too after reading some of the threads

I know that it is easier said than done, but he was the one being icky and creepy. You did nothing wrong. Being dressed up did not give that man any right to act that way towards you.