DU Ladies: Ever have a bad experience on a date?

I'm not going to go into specifics about what made it a bad experience... going over those details can be painful and very upsetting... but I would like to know, how long did that experience (or those experiences) color your thinking?

I haven't dated for over a decade... but I went with a guy to a soccer match, and just him being a little forward set me off again.

on edit: I posted this because I read a response to HEyHEY's thread about what happened to his friend in which someone mentioned that it would be at the back of her mind for a long time. I would definitely think so.

but it had to have been an horrific event to have kept you from dating for over ten years! Do you have many male friends? Am not trying to be rude or instrusive, but if not, perhaps your issue goes deeper than just a bad date experience.

Sorry! Didn't mean for that to be misleading.

But even on dates before I got married... I got creeped out VERY easily. I was sad to find out that hasn't changed.

What specifically creeps you out - if you're able to say here? Just some things off the top of my head - When you were married, did you consider your husband a friend? Did your mother like your father? Believe it or not, there are some really nice guys out there - and I don't mean that in a 'date material' type way - just really nice human beings that happen to be of the male gender.

It's always something different.

This time it was him getting touchy too quickly, and seeming to try to invite himself over to my place or get me to come to his house.

let them know - if they still do not honour your boundaries - leave. Know that sounds easier said than done, but it's the only way I know of to deal with something like that.

that's the thing... that's how I got into trouble the first time! By trying to set boundaries.

So now I have this thing where I just try to seem to go along with whatever they say until I'm safely away from them. I know it's not the best way to handle things, but I'm honestly terrified to do otherwise. :scared:

I always use my own transportation... but I think a new rule is going to be that there will be no walking me to my car.

will never get you 'into trouble'.

Going along with whatever someone wants to do until you are 'safely away from them' indicates abuse of some sort in past. Have you given thought to addressing this issue in a forum other than here? Again, I am not trying to be rude or condescending, but taking control of your own life and the direction in which you travel is an amazing experience.

Go out dating, marry another psychopath---no, I don't think so.

It's PTS Post Traumatic Stress syndrome. I don't know the cure, but dating has got to be the exact oppposite of a cure. It was after a very nice man turned out to be another bastard (didn't marry him, though I wanted to) that I threw in the towel.

He was really nice when we were dating, which is why I jumped into a serious relationship so quickly with him. He seemed 'safe'.

:hi:

I've never had any kind of bad experience on a date but I've also never really dated. When I was growing up, it was more like we all hung out together and you sort of did things as a group for the most part. Most of the guys I dated were people I'd known for years.

That would be a creepy thing, to have someone so obviously targeting me. :scared:

x(

..of mine (Girl-Friend as in Woman Friend)

She went on a blind date after someone at work told her of the workers Brother...

Anyway...he shows up on a Friday night...asks her if She would like to go to the Movies.
Sure She said...He takes her to the "dollar Movie" and as they are walking up to the window asks her to borrow 5 bucks so he can pay her way in and buy "Them" a small bag of popcorn.

...plus on the way home, he tries to Put the Make on Her!

Geez!..When She told me what happen, I just said: "Damn Paula, He sounds like one Classy, Classy Dude"

:rofl:

so financially there are no expectations either way.

... accompany me to an expensive place and I (try) to tactfully enter into the conversation that
"It's my Treat"

(I don't want to offend them but I also would feel lousy if they had to spend their Lunch money for the following week..)

to an asshole, but I did have one experience on a blind date after I first got divorced.

We met on the precursor to Match.com. We agreeed to meet for a walk in a state park near here. It would have been nice except, we didn't agree on the concept of "walk." I was thinking more leisurely stroll, he was thinking more Bataan Death march. I really can't walk fast and talk at the same time! :P I was glad that didn't go anywhere.

I went out a time or two after that, but it wasn't bad.

edit: More recently, I had a date with a guy I met at a folk concert at a UU church. We got to talking and seemed to have some things in common. He invited me to a concert/swing dance for a singer/band from Austin. This was a huge event at the local armory. There must have been 400 couples there, all swing dancing and lindying. Lots a fun. But for some reason I can't fathom, he started to bump me, like guys like to bump bellies watching football. :wtf: I wasn't sure what that was about. We were about the same age. I learned soon after that that he was another Momma's boy who lived with mom and didn't wanna talk about it. No thanks.

maybe he was nervous :) seems like a stroll would be the only way to go for a getting to know you type of thing.

:rofl:

That's pretty funny.

since I have been on a date......

looks like I might be joining the dating pool.....
well maybe....maybe not.... I'll let you know next month.....
cause there is someone....

no, not gonna jinx it!!!!!


lost

Luckily it did'nt knock him out as I still had to climb down the cliff. I helped him across the river to the car and we left. I didn't have a license so he had to drive. Tore up his knee pretty badly and after he dropped me off he went home and to the hospital for quite a few stitches.

Not fun....

Just kidding!

Met this guy at a fireworks party. He was very good looking. Drove a
beat-up pickup truck. A week later, he came to pick me up driving a new Corvette
:puke:

He proceeded to tell me that I was lucky I was cute because "ugly girls
don't ride in Corvettes", and wasn't I lucky I took a chance on him in
his truck only to find out he was a "Prince Charming" with a "vette".
Double puke.

Well, against my better judgment, I got in the car, and we drove to
Canada for our date, which was a bit stilted. On the way back across
the bridge, he GOT IN A FIGHT with the poor man behind us in the traffic
jam for BEING TOO CLOSE to his CAR. NO JOKE. Took out a baseball bat
and threatened the guy!

This schmuck had the nerve to try and get me into his new hot tub at
the end of the "magical" evening.

I still cringe when I see a corvette whiz by. I know it's a prejudice,
but CAN YOU BLAME ME?