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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 02:35 PM
Original message
Suggest better tampon wrapper sayings
Hey, it's better than morning sickness!

Send help! I'm trapped in the tampon factory on Pine Street.

Reading this? Dang, you're bored.
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MrCoffee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 02:37 PM
Response to Original message
1. Don't lose the string!
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 02:38 PM
Response to Original message
2. You can do the Bela Lugosi stuff from Ed Wood...
"PULL THE STRING! PULL THE STRING!" :yoiks: :rofl: :hi:
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Crazy Dave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 02:43 PM
Response to Reply #2
8. Vampire tea bags?
:rofl: :hi:
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otherlander Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 10:27 PM
Response to Reply #8
35. !
:puke:
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liberaldemocrat7 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 07:16 AM
Response to Reply #35
46. "Tampax: Sucking up women's blood for decades"

"Tampax: Sucking up women's blood for decades"

"Tampax: Vampires wish they could do the job we do"
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Lethe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 02:39 PM
Response to Original message
3. Just random jokes like the Laffy Taffy candy wrappers
Actual jokes on Laffy Taffy wrapper:

Why didn't the cat have any money?
Because he didn't have any pockets.

Why'd they call him Mike?
Because that was his name.

What do you get when you cross an anesthesiologist and a rabbit?
The ether bunny
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Blue-Jay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 02:40 PM
Response to Original message
4. "Stuff it"
Simple and to-the-point.
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Phentex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 02:40 PM
Response to Original message
5. This is not a parachute...
for women with curious children...)
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 02:42 PM
Original message
Oh no, they're little toy guns.
I've learned the hard way that whenever I hear any "pow pow!" noises from the hall bathroom it's gonna cost me about $6.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 03:20 PM
Response to Original message
17. My stepson thought they were stud missiles.
It was pretty damn funny to find a bunch of tampons strewn amongst little plastic green army soldiers.
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ohiosmith Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 02:42 PM
Response to Original message
6. If you are not completely satisfied with this product, PLEASE DO NOT return it to the place of
purchase.
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AllegroRondo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 02:42 PM
Response to Original message
7. "this end up"
"do not eat"
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Burma Jones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 02:44 PM
Response to Original message
9. Also good for nosebleeds
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 06:12 AM
Response to Reply #9
41. And hemorrhoids!
:hide:
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Connonym Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 02:45 PM
Response to Original message
10. "keep out of reach of small children and pets"
Edited on Tue Sep-11-07 02:46 PM by Connonym
I remember when my oldest was little she would stick panty liners (clean unused ones!) on the soles of her feet and "skate" around the kitchen.

ETA: This is a hoot http://www.tamponcrafts.com/
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rug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 02:52 PM
Response to Original message
11. Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of Law.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 03:17 PM
Response to Reply #11
16. BWAHAhahahaha!
:thumbsup:
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 02:57 PM
Response to Original message
12. Light fuse. Retreat to a safe distance. If explosion does not occur, do not attempt to relight.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 03:00 PM
Response to Original message
13. Please use responsibly.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 03:02 PM
Response to Original message
14. I'll suck the life out of you like that giant cylinder in Star Trek 4
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KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 03:03 PM
Response to Original message
15. "Only 30 years to menopause!"
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The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 03:20 PM
Response to Original message
18. Caution: Not a birth control device, do not take orally
:)
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 03:21 PM
Response to Original message
19. So now you know where the phrase "bloody hell" comes from.
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AngryAmish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 03:27 PM
Response to Original message
20. Dutch Boy
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Gormy Cuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 04:58 PM
Response to Original message
21. No, it's not better than a man. n/t
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Fire Walk With Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 05:00 PM
Response to Original message
22. Red Bull tampons give you wings.
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 05:02 PM
Response to Original message
23. Don't you feel special?
Gosh, you must be bored to be reading this.
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 05:15 PM
Response to Original message
24. Martha Stewart's directions for
turning tampons into clever Christmas ornaments using only a bit of glitter and some glue.
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cobalt1999 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 05:22 PM
Response to Original message
25. "I want to come back in my next life as Prince Charles"
Obscure reference, but some will get it.
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 05:28 PM
Response to Reply #25
26. Ugh. If only I didn't know why that was funny.
:puke:
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Call Me Wesley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 05:31 PM
Response to Original message
27. The SUXXOR!
There, I said it. This thread is over now. ;)
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cloudbase Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 05:48 PM
Response to Original message
28. Inspected by no. 69 n/t
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Guava Jelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 05:50 PM
Response to Original message
29. This is not a fuse
(But I may blow up anyways)
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liberaldemocrat7 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 07:11 AM
Response to Reply #29
45. Haha I once made a bumper sticker that read "Who lit the fuse on Ann Coulter's Tampon" LOL
Edited on Wed Sep-12-07 07:12 AM by liberaldemocrat7
I also made my username on Ann Coulter's message forum and took a screenshot that said "We welcome the newest user: WholitthefuseonAnnsTampon". LOL
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judaspriestess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 05:58 PM
Response to Original message
30. Amen
Yeehaw, ride em cowgirl
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lips Donating Member (187 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 06:10 PM
Response to Original message
31. Tresspassers will be shot. Surviors...Eh, you get the idea.
Alternatively:

Please do fasten children without a booster.
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AwakeAtLast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 09:25 PM
Response to Original message
32. If you are Prince Charles, put me down!
:puke:

:evilgrin:
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nytemare Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 10:22 PM
Response to Original message
33. Don't forget to take the old one out!
:rofl:
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dolo amber Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-11-07 10:25 PM
Response to Original message
34. Can be used as rolling paper in case of emergency
:thumbsup:
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UncleSepp Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 12:23 AM
Response to Reply #34
36. The joint looks so grrl power with TAMPAX on the side of it
... but yeah, it'll work in a pinch!
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Maccagirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 12:56 AM
Response to Original message
37. Hey Girlfriend, ride the white cotton pony!
n/t
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achtung_circus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 06:10 AM
Response to Original message
38.  "Satan's Little Cotton Fingers!"
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0999/cotton.html
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 06:11 AM
Response to Original message
39. 'If you can read this, you're too close'
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 06:12 AM
Response to Original message
40. 'Objects in mirror are closer than they appear'
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 06:13 AM
Response to Original message
42. 'I am 50 times better than cotton balls when it comes to stopping bleeding!'
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peacefreak Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 06:15 AM
Response to Original message
43. Just go with the flow, honey.
nt
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wildhorses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 06:56 AM
Response to Original message
44.  caution pull the plug and enter at your own risk
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 07:24 AM
Response to Original message
47. In and out and nobody gets hurt. (nt)
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otherlander Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-12-07 05:10 PM
Response to Original message
48. 4 out of 5 anarchists agree:
Makes a better Molotov fuse than a washcloth.
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