*The Thread in which I RANT about IN-LAWS* wtf??

My Brother's 48th b'day was Thursday.:party: My Mother sent him an e-mail card and put a card in snail mail.:loveya: We had (me, my brother, and my mother) been communicating via e-mail regarding having dinner together on Sunday (tomorrow) to celebrate.:grouphug:

Last night my Mother receives a phone message from my sister-in-law.:o She reprimands my Mother for the card NOT coming on the exact day and continues to "instruct" her to do better next year.:eyes: The tone of her voice was sarcastic and condescending.x(

I do not think my Brother knows his wife made this phone call. :shrug:

What would your reaction to all this be? :crazy:

I am flabbergasted, horrorfied and repulsed.:mad: Am I over-reacting? :grr:

:wtf:

:argh:

metaphorically, of course.

RL

My mother played the whole message for me. It was awful. Just awful. How does this woman plan to ever look my Mother in the eye again?

I mean what a------

I want to call her and suggest that maybe her meds need to be adjusted. Really, that and I would love to give her a piece of my mind. I would love to tell her to:

NEVER EVER SPEAK TO MY MOTHER THAT WAY, AGAIN!!!

Show SOME RESPECT, please.

and I advise you nip that bud, now.

I get a rash when hearing about others insensitive loudmouthed inlaws. I had a dooooozy. thankfully we don't speak any more.

I have not done anything, yet. I want to respect my Mother's wishes.

Or did your sister-in-law expect her to FedEx a frickin' birthday card?

Thanksgiving is going to be fun this year, isn't it? :eyes:

:woohoo:

I want to call her SO BAD.

You guys have to talk me down, please. Right? I can't call her. It would just make things worse. I hope SIL is not planning on coming to lunch with us tomorrow. Surely, NOT!?!?

Lance that boil! If you just let this fester it will get worse. Blow up at her now and have done with it. Then once your mom lets you know that your sister-in-law has apologized to her, you can get on with your lives.

My Mother has been so good to both her daughter-in-laws and they both act like spolied brats. My Mother raised 2 wonderful men who have made excellent husbands. To my mind they should be thankful for that alone.

Don't allow resentment to build up or you'll all regret it later. Clear the air now, I say. I mean, don't go into the other stuff about them being spoiled brats, just keep it to the present situation.

I am thinking of a tactful way to say this. Any ideas?

But about this, I don't know why you'd want to be particularly tactful. Tact doesn't always work, and sometimes even purposeful rudeness can be effective. Give it to her with both barrels. Just start (very sternly and in a low, threatening voice) with, "You know, you've upset my mother," and take it from there. I hope the rest of us have given you some useful ideas.

she sounds like a nice MIL! :)

daughter-in-laws both directly and via her sons. She has helped finance projects and given very generous and thoughtful gifts over the years. I am still in shock.

Imagine receiving moldy sheets for a Christmas present...

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

I can kick her ass.:mad: I want to kick her ass.:grr: Can I please kick her ass?:bounce:

Wear steel toed boots.

sending you hobnail boots. hope they get delivered on time. ;)

;) :rofl:

just remember to stand firm in whatever you decide for yourself and your mom. be alert and prepared for the next assault, for it will surely come.

Thanks for the support.

Surely, your brother doesn't know about that call. If your mother is upset, as she has a right to be, I'd confront her and ask what she thought she was doing. Keep the recording. It might come in handy some day. Just sayin'.

And this is just a symptom, mood-swing, etc.

and raised a son to become a gentleman. What more could a daughter-in-law ask for? Anything else is just icing on the cake. AND this woman and my brother did NOT do anything for Mother's birthday. Can you believe the nerve??

I've seen enough bad behaviour to realize that human beings generally aren't all they're cracked up to be. That's why in comparison I really love my sweet little cat.

:loveya: I have two grey tabbies, brothers. About 18 weeks old.

It's actually my husband's brother's wife, and I quite honestly think she has at least one undiagnosed mental illness. My husband has one brother and one sister and they're both married. Five out of the six of us get along great. We're not exactly alike by any means, but we laugh and joke around and talk and genuinely enjoy being together. Until the brother's wife walks into the room. I swear you can actually feel all the joy and positive energy get sucked out and replaced with anger and uncomfortable silences. She yells at him, she yells at her kids, she's SO unyielding about everything. She will not bend to accommodate anything or anyone for any reason. She's so bad that we are actually shocked when we see her and she *doesn't* act like a total bitch.

Oh, and she's a martyr like you've never seen (and if you knew my mother you'd know that is saying something). They bought this ginormous house in the suburbs with a huge finished basement, a pool table, a home theater, a big yard, a patio, etc. She made a big production about how they wanted all the family gatherings to be at their place because the parents' house is rather small and cramped. But every time we go over there she acts so fucking put out that we're there. We say "don't make any food, we'll bring everything" but she makes food anyway and complains about how she's been cooking all day. She starts cleaning while everyone is still eating, including cleaning the floor under your feet. You try to help her clean but she won't let you, but then of course complains about having to clean up all the time. You feel like you can't touch anything or sit anywhere lest you incur her wrath. Luckily she's a nurse and works weekends a lot, so sometimes she's not there for certain events. That's a lot more fun, although you can tell my brother-in-law is nervous about what she's going to say when she gets home. Usually she comes in, doesn't say hello, starts ragging at him about some perceived failure to do something oh-so-important around the house, freaks out because the kids haven't had a bath (do you know *anyone* who bathes their children at least once a day? I kid you not), then goes to bed.

We took a family vacation a few years ago and rented a beautiful house on the ocean. She would get up every morning at the crack of ass and cook some enormous meal that nobody wanted, then clean the whole house, then bitch because she spent the whole morning cooking and cleaning. At night we'd stay up talking and playing games and she'd roll her eyes and make some declaration about how SHE had to go to bed because SHE had to get up and get things done in the morning. :eyes: She even spent their entire last day of vacation doing laundry. You know, cleaning the clothes they were going to stick into their luggage to go home, where there is a perfectly good washing machine. Rather than enjoying some time with her family playing in the ocean (which we *don't* have in Chicago), she spent it doing laundry and bitching about having no help.

But the worst thing was a few weeks back, at a family wedding in California (sorry this is so long, I must've needed to vent). Apparently she and my husband's brother have been having some problems because a) one of their daughters has some trouble in school and needs lots of extra help and b) my b-i-l has been traveling some for work. It's perfectly reasonable to have trouble with these two things, I totally get that. But she makes everything 10,000x harder because she can't let *anything* go. Ever. She can't accept that one of her daughters might not be a straight A student, so she makes the poor girl do extra school work for at least four hours every night. To me that's guaranteeing that the girl is going hate everything associated with school and learning. And even though they could easily afford help around the house, help with tutoring for the one daughter, etc. she refuses. She takes everything on herself then acts like the world OWES HER SOMETHING because she's so put upon. My b-i-l already has cut back on his hours so he can be home at 4:30 twice a week, he only travels when he absolutely has to, and he is pretty much their full-time caretaker on the weekends. But that's not enough.

The camel's back broke for her when we were getting ready to head for the wedding from the hotel. People weren't getting ready fast enough for her taste and she started bitching. My b-i-l told her to relax and she lost it. First she refused to even go to the wedding. Then she went but she made a total ass out of herself. She wouldn't talk to anyone. She wouldn't let anyone sit with her. She moved around the place settings at the reception so she wouldn't have to sit by my b-i-l. She even totally blew off our mother-in-law when our m-i-l was trying to introduce her to a 93-yr-old relative (prompting my m-i-l to refer to her as a "piece of shit"). It was so fucking immature. Luckily we're all used to ignoring her by now but it's still completely inappropriate behavior.

After the wedding she locked herself in the hotel room and wouldn't talk to anyone. She finally talked to my b-i-l long enough to tell him she wanted a divorce and she wanted him to take the kids. She's bluffing of course, which is pathetic. I actually wish she would leave, I think it would be the best thing for him and those girls to not have to be around that toxic woman. But she'll stay, and she'll make it seem like she's doing everyone a favor. And my poor b-i-l will kiss her ass and buy her expensive gifts and pretty much bend over backwards. And she'll never get help for her issues. She'll just keep going on making everyone around her miserable. It makes me sad for my nieces.

Anyway, sorry for such a long rant. I don't think you were overreacting at all. That was a terrible thing to say and do and that woman should be ashamed of herself. Why do people have to be so fucking weird about NOTHING?

chance to vent. You needed it. Not, that this is a contest but, YOU WIN!! You have my sympathy. I think your SIL needs to be on medication. My SIL is already or, she would probably be as bad as yours. ~:hug:~

Right back atcha. It's my brother-in-law and nieces that need your sympathy. At least I don't have to live with the woman. Of course, she's been like this as long as I've known her and he married her and had kids with her. It's too bad, because when he's not around her he's a lot of fun, a good guy.

Anyway, I hope for both of us that these women get help and maybe grow up a little bit. :hug: :hi:

:banghead: :hug:

:hug:

:evilgrin:

i'm so surprised no one was tempted to just grab one of her craptastic breakfasts, chuck it in tupperware and yell to everyone "let's all get breakfast at McDonald's!" and why was no one tracking mud back into the rented home? you had a free maid! heck, you could've got someone's drawers, smeared mud on them, and tossed 'em to her while she's washing and say, "hey, someone crapped their drawers. be a doll and wash 'em while you're there. i'll be out with the kids having fun. byeee!"
:7

some people want to be martyrs, well martyr them! :D fulfill their desire until they cannot take it anymore. obviously being civil and respectful has accomplished nothing to curb it. might as well be gleefully insensitive! :7 think of how fun it'll be! and the end result is either she cracks up and gets help, divorces your BIL, or stays away from you all forever -- it's a win-win-win! i'm surprised you haven't done this yet!
:evilgrin:

do you know the difference between inlaws and out laws?


wait for it





































out laws are wanted!

:thumbsup:

i thank my lucky stars she is 3,000 miles away from me. A week before i married her precious brother she told me "If my parents were alive they wouldn't come to YOUR wedding!" because her precious brother didn't want anyone from the catholic church there, his choice btw, not mine but of course it was my fault according to her.

They are crazy and they will drive you crazy, too!! If you let them.

her "Piece of shit husband". she's still talking, i have no idea what she's even talking about now---"blah, blah balh!"

I can hear her from here...blah blah blah

STFU!!

~:hug:~

she is going to know you and your mother were "talking about her behind her back" - that may set her off even worse

later on down the road you might let your brother hear the message...???

I think I will take a nerve pill before I go to lunch tomorrow. Just to make sure :shrug:

If everyone tiptoes around because they worry she's gonna go ballistic, then she's controlling everyone.

Fuck that.

Nip it in the bud, right now, I say. Tell her she's wrong, and let her go fucking ballistic. And let her go ballistic every time she does something dumb, until she makes such a fucking ass of herself that no one wants her around, OR until she learns that no one cares if she goes ballistic, at which point she'll stop her childish bullshit and mature a couple decades.

just be prepared for it

if you want this shit to stop you must remember to stop playing their game. play yours, and make them so miserable in the process that they grow the fuck up. it's very easy, like house training a pet that likes to crap everywhere -- except this one likes to crap on everyone's fun.

Tell him you're concerned that his wife may not be feeling well, that you and your mom were really surprised by her message and wonder if everything is okay. That way you let him in on the bullshit but it isn't done in a nasty manner. Devious maybe, but not nasty.

Your SIL sounds like she's got some problems. If the worst thing that happened to her that day was a late BD card that wasn't even for her and she got that wigged out about it, how would she respond to something serious?

Mz Pip
:dem:

tomorrow when she is here. In the end, I am going to leave it up to her. I will respect her wishes and do (or not do) whatever she thinks.

My SIL is a control freak. They have their daily planners down to the last minute of EVERY day!! We have to make appointments to visit. Mother has had to leave gifts for them on their front porch. They are like robots. So structured.

that is so wrong, i don't want to offend but WTF? Did your brother not get her play playbook before the big game or did he know she was like this?

The girl he dated before this one was very laid back and comfortable. She sang and my brother plays guitar. They were off to a good career. She wanted to get married and have kids...eventually. Next thing I know, she is dumped and he is dating this THING... :shrug:

:evilgrin:

something that hasn't really happened before?

If she's got a history of behaving badly, then yes, she deserves a set down. But if this is a new development, I'd be concerned. Sudden mood shifts and irrational behaviour can be symptoms of some serious medical or psychiatric issues.

suicide when she was a teen-ager. I think she sees a therapist and is on medication. Still, is this an excuse for what she did? She is 55 y/o. :shrug:

maybe its bush fatigue
maybe its global warning
maybe its too many or too few trans fats

lately it seems like a full moon every night

cause or reason. Cheers, fellow newbie :toast:

be involved with. My mom abandoned me and my brother when we were 24 and 6 months old. Again, family sucks. Can I also add that she left her 6 year old son, who wasn't my dad's, with him.

My complaint next to that seems petty. I have a cyber hug ....~:hug:~

a woman you were better off not having in your life. If you read my saga about my s-i-l upthread a bit, I even say that I think my nieces and my b-i-l would probably be better off if she did leave them (like she threatened to do).

Anyway, FWIW... :hug: