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There is a weird thing that happens when I phone a certain business...It goes like this:

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QueenOfCalifornia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 04:51 PM
Original message
There is a weird thing that happens when I phone a certain business...It goes like this:
I wait while the phone rings.
A lady answers.
She says... And I am not making this up:
Thank you for calling ________________, It is a wonderful day here and we want you to know that we appreciate your business. What can we do to make your day a happier one?

Maybe this doesn't bother most people but I would rather just have someone answer the phone and say "Hello, this is ________, how may I help you?"

Or even, "Hello, WTF do you want?"

(I have told the woman to stop this and she told me that her boss makes them do this insane greeting. I have talked to the boss and told him that it is annoying to listen to someone talk to me like I am starring in a Stephen King movie....)

:wtf:
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 04:53 PM
Response to Original message
1. Many businesses are going far overboard scripting their people.
x(

It's disgusting what some managers think their staff should say. Do they really think this shit sounds professional?
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China_cat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-24-07 04:12 AM
Response to Reply #1
19. Better than the ones who answer their phones
with a bible verse.
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VenusRising Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 04:55 PM
Response to Original message
2. I think that kind of greeting is completely Stepford.
It creeps me the hell out.

I would hang up and call another business it's so unnerving. :freak:
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QueenOfCalifornia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 04:59 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. I have complained like crazy
It is really horrible - the business is owned by Mormons and the owner is very Mitt -like... creepy.

Very creepy.
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graywarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 05:02 PM
Response to Original message
4. My SIL worked for a chiropractor who made her answer the phone with
"It's a wonderful day at Dr. _____'s. This is ________ , how can I help you." Thing is everyone in the office hated eachother and stabbed one another in the back all day. *snort*
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Zavulon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 05:03 PM
Response to Original message
5. Couldn't agree more.
When I call one particular firm, I think it's my cable company, I hear "(Blah, blah...) How can I provide you with excellent service today?" My answer is usually something like "by speaking like a human being instead of the Enterprise's computer."
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QueenOfCalifornia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 06:40 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. It would be
a cold day in Hell before I would ever answer the phone in such a crazy assed manner. I would rather pick up aluminum cans and pop bottles at the beach. Ack.

Stupid villagers.
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Lone_Star_Dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 06:46 PM
Response to Original message
7. What business are you calling?
The Stepford wives hotline?
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QueenOfCalifornia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 07:08 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. It's the company
that installed our AC unit... They service it once a year.
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Catshrink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 07:43 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. Are you Phoenix?
Because my AC company answers the phone something like that. I think she says "How can I make you smile." And I want to say "Fix my damn leak" or something like that.
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QueenOfCalifornia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 10:27 PM
Response to Reply #11
15. The eagle flies at midnight
...is that the answer? 'Cause I may or I may not be Phoenix...
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hvn_nbr_2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 07:19 PM
Response to Original message
9. Well, that's better than the ones that answer...
"Good morning, Blfvtt" when they really mean, "Good morning, Amalgamated Abacus and Underpants Gnomes Enterprises" but they've said "Amalgamated Abacus and Underpants Gnomes Enterprises" so often that they've sped it up and condensed it till it comes out as "Blfvtt." And since I can't pick the sounds of "Amalgamated Abacus and Underpants Gnomes Enterprises" out of "Blfvtt," I have to ask if this is "Amalgamated Abacus and Underpants Gnomes Enterprises" and they answer, annoyed that I'm such an idiot, "Yes" with a whispered "you moron" under their breath.
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siouxsiecreamcheese Donating Member (534 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 07:19 PM
Response to Original message
10. I hate that
I work for a company that answers phones for various offices. Some of the offices require you to answer the phone that way, or they will take thier business elsewhere. The sad thing is, when someone calls and interupts the greeting & cutting it short, the person who answers get's a low review when calls are monitored. They make us sound like robot idiots when it's not us that want to answer that way, but the higher ups who could care less if we're humilated. There's been a few times when I refused to answer like they wanted me to, and had points taken off my monthly review. I could care less though, since my calls felt a lot more natural and I didn't sound like an idiot.
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Der Blaue Engel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 09:13 PM
Response to Original message
12. Someone left a message on my answering machine recently that said
"This is __________________ calling to thank you for being our customer" and then hung up. The weirdest part was that I played it several times and couldn't understand the name of the freaking company. But why?? Why would you call and say that? Stop freaking me out!!
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QueenOfCalifornia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 10:29 PM
Response to Reply #12
16. I'm sorry
it will not happen again... but thanks for the biznuss.
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Der Blaue Engel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 11:08 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. Lol!
I knew it! :D
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baldguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 09:41 PM
Response to Original message
13. Prozac
or Xanex
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Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 09:59 PM
Response to Original message
14. When I worked a call center
We were required to hit all five points of a scripted closing. However, my department served a pool of perhaps 300 clients, each of whom was likely to call in eight or ten times per day, usually for a snippet of information resulting in under ten seconds on the line.

"Our scripts seem really off the mark, considering our client base," I noted one day.

"I understand completely," said my manager. "Stick to the script."


I'm guessing that the company you call paid some consulting firm to draft that script, and no way in hell are they not going to use it after all of that.
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-23-07 10:30 PM
Response to Original message
17. "What can we do to make your day a happier one?"
"Stop answering the fucking phone like a fucking Stepford wife on crack!"
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Kutjara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-24-07 04:45 AM
Response to Original message
20. T-Mobile's call center drones answer with...
"Hello. Thank you for calling T-Mobile. My name is ___________, employee number 345434234565943245. Your call is important to us. How may I help you."

First of all, this line is invariably delivered in a suicidally disinterested monotone at a rate of about a thousand words per minute, by someone who sounds like they're eating a cheeseburger. Secondly, who the fuck would be ready to write down a four billion digit employee number without any advance warning, even if they had a mind to? Third, what's the point of saying all that crap when everything said is either untrue or irrelevant?
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