Some "Gladiator-Like" movies that will be coming out

To build off the successes of "The Gladiator" starring Russell Crowe, the theatres will be coming out with THREE new films about the Greeks and the Macedonians.

Coming out this year on May 21, 2004 is Troy. It is directed by Wolfgang Petersen.

The Story

Prince Paris (Orlando Bloom) stole the wife of King Menelaus, Helen of Sparta, and brought her back with him to Persia. Out of fury, King Menelaus sent his entire navy & army to Persia to seek revenge on Paris. The Greeks, eager to defeat the Persians, devised a plan to take the city down. They offer the Persians a giant wooden horse to promote the appearance of a truce. Little did the Persians know that the main purpose of the horse was to let the Greek's men inside of the walls of the city in order to open the gates. Led by Achilles (Brad Pitt), they defeat the Persians and expand the Greek empire. Their journey would end up taking 10 years. (I'm sure everyone knows this story already)

The 2nd movie coming out is Alexander the Great on Nov. 5th, 2004. It is directed by Oliver Stone. He's been wanting to do a movie like this for years.

The Story

Alexander the Great of Macedonia swept thru Greece when they became a weak state. There were many tales of him being a great warrior, and he proved them true by conquering a majority of the known world. He later died at the age of 33.

Cast of Characters:

Collin Farrell: Alexander the Great
Anthony Hopkins: Ptolemy, Alexander's General.
Angelina Jolie: Olympias
Val Kilmer: King Philip II of Macedonia, Alexander's Father
Rosario Dawson: Roxane
Jared Leto: Hephaestion, Alexander's Lover

I have a feeling that the freepers will get their tightie whities in a wad over this one since Alexander the Great and Hephaestion make out. Hey, what do you know, just in time for Election Day. Expect O'Really and the rest of the characters at FauxNews to make a big deal over the bisexuality of Alexander the Great. Republicans will be screaming, "It is all part of the homosexual agenda!!!" :crazy:

In that age, men and women didn't live under the social stigmas that we live under today. There were no words for homosexuality and bisexuality. Some say it was the older men sharing secrets with the younger men. Some say it was love. I don't which version is right, but the actions did happen then.

For more information on the movie, click here

Another Movie entitled Untitled Alexander the Great Project will be coming out in 2006. It will be directed by Baz Luhrmann, who also worked on Moulin Rouge. Yes, it is another Alexander the Great Movie.

Cast of Characters: None so far, but it is rumored that Leo DiCaprio might be Alexander the Great.

The next version of "Survivor" will be on a Greek Island populated by olive-oiled wrestlers, priestesses with Playboy-approved fashions and shipping mangates that manage to "skin" their bar stools with whale nuts (Ari Onassis).

that made my night.

you fantasize better than i do -- oh god that was hysterical.
i'll have bar stools and whale nuts on my mind all day.
here's hoping i don't come down with a bout of turetts and blurt out ''whale nuts'' where i work. i might scare the horses.

Alexander the Great only had one eye. The other one had been taken out when it caught a javelin.

--bkl

I feel compelled to point out a few mistakes:

1. - The battle of Troy takes place somewhere around 1300 B.C., so there aren't any Persians in that area yet.

2. - The Greeks didn't wage that war with conquest in mind. When they won they just took the girl and pillaged the city. The Greeks didn't even have an "empire" until Alexander, and he was Macedonian.

3. - It wasn't Alexander, but his father Phillip who conquered the Greeks.

There! I have you outnerded.