Well, it was bound to happen. Someone called DCYS on my friend in Chicago.

:banghead:

She's not a terrible mom, just a scatter brained one. Unfortunately, she makes some stupid choices and her children innocently repeat what has happened. Some of us protected her when she lived here because she really loves her kids and frankly, we were always watching them, so it was less of a risk.

She's mad at me, now, because she was trying to blow off the visit by the social worker and I had to explain to her that there is now a file on her and her hoarding behavior as well as her lackadaisical watching of her children WILL be problematic. Especially since there isn't anyone up there to help her out. She just doesn't seem to get how demanding being a mom is. She's always looking for someone to watch her kids so she can go shopping. Not going to sit well up there, I'm afraid. She hasn't been there long enough for people to know her good and kind side.

Ugh. I feel really, really shitty about this, but there's not a whole lot I can do from here.

it may, in the long run, benefit those children. Cook County is NOT the place to mess up, on anything. Hopefully, she will pay attention and do as she must for the betterment of her kids and herself.

Good luck. Try not to worry. :hug: This isn't on you. You sound like a very good friend but this may all be a blessing in disguise

She's so unstable under the best of circumstances, and this is going to push her right into Fletcher's.

someone HAD to call the authorities. An unstable mother who hordes, shops and doesn't watch her children is in need of outside intervention. It is a form of abuse.
The children are the first people to be concerned about.

our county gov right now is a wreck. an absolute wreck.
it sounds like your friend could use some meds. ocd?
how many kids does she have? does she have any help here?
just between you and me- they do not WANT to intervene with your friend. if she got herself some other help in the meantime, i think they would back off. they are overwhelmed.

She's not the brightest light and doesn't think she's doing anything wrong.

does she have a t-doc?

If she is at all interested in help with her hoarding problem, there are some good online resources. For general encouragement and cleaning, Flylady can't be beat:
www.flylady.net

Also, you may want to google "Children of Hoarders" if you think she might read that material. It'll really show her how children are affected by hoarding parents. This kind of thing can really do damage.

:P

I'm sorry, babe! It sounds like you've been a very good friend, and have done your best to help steer her in the right direction. Sometimes it takes a huge slap in the face for people to realize the magnitude of their own issues.

:hug:

Which is why I'm so freaked out. She means well, but she's really, really limited.

Not good. At all. No wonder you're worried.

:(

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If you get the STYLE channel "Clean House" is very on topic

IF you get BBC America "How Clean is your House" is good

In fact, it's the most difficult form of OCD to treat/control. I know you mean well, but telling someone with this form of mental illness to watch TV to learn how to clean house is like telling someone with depression to "cheer up."

Bad housekeeping isn't the same as hoarding - if this person simply doesn't know what to throw out and when to do it, she may be a bad housekeeper and not a hoarder!

The OP stated "there is now a file on her and her hoarding behavior"
which is more than bad housekeeping

watching others perform the same or similar actions may cause them to realize it IS a bad behavior / OCD

it's a first step not a cure

send me a pm. tell me where in chicago she is.

can make a bad situation much more complicated. I really hope this works out in the end.

:scared: