My father has found jesus

Apparently, he was in Florida all this time. Who'd have thunk it?

Seriously, my cynical brain gets a kick out of my dad finding religion. His churchgoing in my youth was always quite obviously a means of networking and showing his conformity in society and ceased entirely when I was about 11 or 12.

He's never lived a remotely "christian" life and I'm assuming that his late-in-life conversion has more to do with the dawning realization that if there is an afterlife, he's probably going to be spending it in a hotter place than Florida.

So when he tells me he's praying for me, I have to bite my tongue to keep from suggesting that prayers from him will probably have the opposite effect than that intended and I'd really rather he cut it out.

:rofl:

:rofl:

"I didn't know he was lost."

Usually succeeds in shutting them up long enough for me to get the hell out of there. :P

he sometimes would add " WE Catholics never lose Jesus" but only if he was feeling combative. Although he was a devout Catholic my father never preached or forced us kids as teenagers to attend church, "that's your choice" he'd say.

I saw him on the George Lopez show once...........:rofl: :hi:

Maybe that's where he saw him. :hi:

he was looking for the dustpan and the door slammed on him.

O Lord, you can come out. We know all about you and Judas.

A drunk man is walking along a river shore and is suddenly grabbed and his head is dunked in the river.

A Baptisizing preacher asks him "if he's found Jesus"?

The man says "no"

So the preacher dips the drunk's head in the water again, then repeats the question.

The drunk again says "no"

The process is repeated a third time and the exasperated preacher yells, Now have you found Jesus?

The drunk replies, "no, are you sure this is where he fell in?"

:rofl:

For some reason I love that joke. ;)

Sorry no this is a bit off Topic of the original posters intent, and no offense is meant, but it just brought the joke back to mind.

Would quit misplacing their Messiah. Honestly! Talk about absent-minded.

I have a sneaking feeling that Jesus is deliberately running off when their backs are turned, though. Would you want to constantly hang out with some of His most vocal followers? Me neither, and I suspect J.C. shares some of my aversion. Parts of the New Testament made him sound like a really decent guy. I expect He winces when ever the names of Jerry Falwell and Pat Roberson come up in conversation (not to mention Fred Phelps).

If He's here in Florida, I imagine Him sharing a pitcher with Buddha, and kvetching "You've got the Burmese monks and the Dalai Lama, but have you seen some of my people? Most of them are okay, but I've got some real jerks who think they've got me on speed-dial".

his picture off of the milk carton.

Jesus never chooses good hiding places.

Driving a cab now and rooming with Elvis.
Elvis is a blackjack dealer at the Gold Nugget.

c'mon, spill it. it is ALWAYS one of the two :D

I'm going with pain in the ass brother that has a taste for younger women.
:D

That will solve the problem.

My father has yet to find Jesus though he's seventy. However over the last fifteen years or so he's begun to venture into church with my mother on occasional Sundays, and has been known to take communion on special occasions, like a funeral. Whatever I think of organized religion there is no doubt in my mind that it gives hope and comfort - and purpose - to many good people. I'm happy for your father.

She has a fish named Jesus and he lives in the bathroom.

:rofl:

Whenever I have to use the facilities at her house I hear her laugh when I say hi to Jesus and ask, "how ya doin'?" It's just a habit I have of conversing with people's pets.

They can finally call of that amber alert.

Would he mind returning him? I am offering a small cash reward. Thanks.