I need help with my list of unreasonable demands for "LaraFest '07."

As of tomorrow, it is one. month. until my (30th) birthday.
I have warned my husband that if there are not festivities of a magnitude that would eclipse the celebration of the new millennium, my vengeance will rain down like toxic spittle from the mouth of an angry God.

So far, my demands for said festivities include:

Giant martini glass that I can swim in.
(I saw one on t.v. I *know* he could get one, if he tried.)

The invitation and attendance of every person I have ever even modestly liked.

Sculpture of my likeness in monterey jack cheese.

A giraffe

I want the lawn astroturfed.

Gigantic buffet including assorted cookie doughs.

I want the house to smell like cherries.

A luge run.


That's ALL I have. HELP!



:rofl:

CB

Once I stole a five gallon jar of queen-size olives from the cafeteria at my school.
And forty place-settings of silverware.
And a lot of granola.

I figured I wasn't using half my meal plan, so I might as well even the score.

Or is this a family celebration?

:rofl:

It's mostly a "friends" thing, but I don't exactly dig Chippendales!

I believe I've also seen them at Garden Ridge.

:rofl:

I know you have modestly liked me - even if just a little

Can you bring Midlo? You're on the same side of the country!

That's it - I'm gonna make sure the FBI rip off the front door and ransacks your house EVEN if you are standing out front holding the boy down so they can take him.

We'll sit in the back and drink and let TM drive the whole way!!!!

We can even watch a movie. :bounce:

And I normally give away nice bottles of wine

:nuke:

Good call!

Oh what the hell, it's your 30th ask for Oregon.

Is Oregon fairly temperate?

I'll buy you the 40oz Martini at the local martini place.

The lifesize cheese version of you, is up to you. It would be wise to have it crafted in a seated position, so you can sit next to it on the plane.

I haven't flown in over a decade. I don't know the airline policies.
What if cheese-me starts to flake?

and charge you an extra ticket.

just sayin'

Either him, or the Ramones! ;-) :hi:

ARE THE UNDEAD RAMONES GOING TO PLAY?!

:bounce:

:rofl:

A cloud of angels must sing your praise.
And don't forget the 31 flavors of ice cream to go with the cookie doughs.

I almost forgot to make demands about the weather!
Good catch!

All top-tier spirits and beverages...

I would also think that celebrities (of your choice) should be brought in for your entertainment...

He is dead, but I'm sure some sort of satanic pact could be worked out.

Perhaps some celebrity bartenders would be warranted, too....

I want all the chocolate coatings removed from the m&m's. By hand.

An eclipse or a comet, perhaps?

You guys RULE! I knew you'd have good ideas!

That is the only way you will know if people should 1)Grovel before you 2)Kowtow before you or 3)Prostrate themselves before you.

For example, if you find gravel in the Republican's gizzard, then 1)Grovel is correct. If the said Republican has four stomach chambers, as does a bovine, then clearly the answer is 2)Kowtow (see -- "Cow"tow"). If the Republican's prostate gland is enlarged, then obviously you'll know the appropriate behavior to expect is: 3)Prostrate.

Prostrate sounds really ideal!

and while you are at it, pony rides for the adults.

I want miniature, colostomized reindeer, anyway.

if you invite me, i will donate my 15 and 17 yo sons to babysit your children for a long weekend so that you and your husband can go away.

How can you possibly be part of an event featuring _you_ in a giant martini glass, if the crowd is under-dressed?



(Bookmarking so that I don't forget your birthday. :party: )

SophieMN already has a pair (or three,) even!

You're Mother of the Year, whether you like it or not. (Any little girl who already appreciates opera gloves has _got_ to have a great mom.) :hug: :hug:

I make a killing on holiday gifts for her at the after-Halloween clearance sales!

The original ones, not The New Monkees. They sucked.

Ya gotta have standards.

And you want Wink Martindale to be the MC for the affair.

and would probably necessitate the presence of a medical team and defibrillator on premises.
That involves money that could be better spent on vodka. and live miniature reindeer.

I need an albino one, though.

:scared:

No jello wrestling with me?!!!

:cry:












































Happy Birthday, anyway, darlin'!

:hug:

x(

You show, we go!

We just live a hundred states away from each other and I'm beyond poor right now.

:hide:


I do hope you have a wonderful birthday, Lara. No one deserves it more!

:loveya:

Ah, the good times we once shared...

:P

If an over-novocained Dolo could squat down in there, it would be a huge bonus!

What the hell are you guys doing, anyway? You are BOTH neglecting the Lounge. And me. Mostly me.
:mad:

:shrug:

You guys are soooo prudish.

sheesh.

:eyes:

So he's dead, so friggen what???

He was one badasssssss mothafucka

And the Thunderbirds.

The Blue Angels must create your likeness in the sky with the smoke trails they make, and the Thunderbirds must write "HAPPY THIRTIETH BIRTHDAY LARAMN MAY THE ROAD RISE TO MEET YOU AND THE WIND ALWAYS BE AT YOUR BACK"

And a twenty-one gun salute. Tell the Navy to get a battleship on Lake Superior for the event.

And a parade. We need a parade. Something with a lot a floats and bagpipes and marching bands and baton twirlers and a King and a Queen. And classic cars. And Shriners. Lots of Shriners. And a platoon of Elvis impersonators on 10-foot-tall stilts! Throwing out Tootsie Rolls!

And a World's Biggest Hotdish competition!

:bounce:

Same goes for the stiltwalking Elvises.

And Whiplash the Cowboy Monkey must be there as well!

It'll all go down in the history books as the "2007 LaraMN Impeachment".

To be used on them daily.

:rofl:

For the mottled effect.

:rofl:

and warmed baby oil massage...