Are you comfortable when your SO is friends with someone who is in love with your SO?

in love or in lust or has a crush on.

any of those variations.

If it were profound lust or love,it would likely bug me if they hung out alone very frequently.

with that....
it bit me in the ass


lost

That'd be rather dicey to deal with. Hasn't happened to me, at least not that I know of.

He never made it a problem and I supported them both.

Heck, her best friend constantly ragged about our relationship. She was jealous, and it didn't hurt us either.

If that is happening to you, I hope that it remains a non-issue. I don't know how I'd handle it if it had been a glaring issue that refused to be controlled.

i think lisas best friend is very much in love with her but i dont mind at all

My English is fading. I had meant to imply "if it's happening in your relationship", not to you specifically. You didn't sound as though it had been occuring to you.

I hope that she can find someone who is free to return the love she has to give.

And upon reflection, I imagine that my old girlfriend's worshipper resented the hell out of me. He never did anything outright, and I thank him from afar.

so I've learned to get by.

not that I have this issue, exactly...I don't think? relationships can be challenging.

We've all been friends since high school. Back then his feelings for me were well known to everyone, but these days he hides it. It comes out when he has had waaaay too much to drink, but my husband knows that he would never act on it and that I certainly wouldn't. But if the roles were reversed, I would probably mind. But we aren't willing to lose him as a friend because he means a lot to the both of us.

I'd be slightly uncomfortable regardless... but it wouldn't be a big deal unless I didn't trust the SO on some level.

I wouldn't be afraid that my SO would leave me for the other guy, but by keeping up the friendship she'd be keeping his dream alive, and that means he'd still be part of my life too. I don't need anything of the kind, especially if I weren't 100% sure that he might eventually lose it and try to force himself on her.

We have a few friends who have crushes on her, or on me, or both, and it's not an issue.

It can be an issue, but honestly depends on how my SO (or myself) handle it and more importantly, if the other person (the crusher, if you will) respects our relationship. In other words, if the other person actively tried to sabotage things or in some other way showed great contempt for our relationship, I'd have more of a problem with it and would want to have a word with him or her.

We make it a point to not be ruled by jealousy. Yes, it happens sometimes and is natural, but unchecked it can also ruin things quite easily.

People like that should just stay the f**k away!!

Of course, this was never a problem with my ex. I had to deal mostly with people wondering what I was doing with him.

of lusting after not only female friends, but male friends' girlfriends as well.

It's a sad life I lead, really.

I found out he boinked my best friend and didn't tell me about it for years.

And remember that it's the other person, in love with my SO who is not available, who's got a problem.

women have come on to him....IN FRONT OF ME.

When we were first dating/first married I use to be concerned because I was older/weighed more/had a kid from a previous marriage/etc. We were talking about it one day and he told me that yes, he has women that throw themselves at him but I was the only woman he felt like chasing after. And it is true-I gave him the brush off for a looong time.

I don't give it a second thought now. I like to watch him squirm a bit when they are throwing themselves at him after a performance. In fact, he is very relieved when I show up to rescue HIM. He makes sure to mention that I am his wife-the Prime Minister. We laugh about it now. In fact one of our funniest conversations was 'what would you do if a 20yo+ person came to our door or concert and said I was their father'. It got started when Nora Jones started on the music scene. There might be a Japanese-Indian somewhere out there that has questions about their heritage (all he remembers was being drunk on saki and waking up with out clothes in a womans apartment).

It boils down to trust and either you have it or you don't.

'cuz there are a lot of women (and some men) who are smitten with him. I don't blame them, he's a wonderful man, an incredible wit and a smokin' hottie.

I don't feel threatened in general because his heart knows where home is. The thing that runs between us is deep and substantial. But sure, it's possible. If he spent a lot of time alone with a woman who adored him, I might begin to feel insecure.