Please support me. Help. Tell me I'll live to fight another day.

Where to begin?

Sunday night, I witnessed two men kicking the door down of my next-door neighbor's apartment. They got most of his stuff. Worse, in my selfish opinion, is that they saw me watching. They know that the girl who lives alone in that apartment got a good look at them in the commission of a felony.

So, I freaked out when I saw them, ran inside and called the police. Forty-five minutes later, when they arrived, the felons were gone and I was scared out of my mind to the point of losing my breakfast, lunch, and dinner. :puke:

I know that it's mostly on TV that witnesses get snuffed out by the bad guys. Well, guess what? I'm an American girl who was raised by the TV. Latch-key kid, the whole thing. One of the reasons I gave TV up entirely (don't own one) is that I did the math, conservatively when I wasn't sure, and by the age of 20, I had spent 3.4 years watching TV.

But I digress. So, I'm scared to death. :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared:

I live in an apartment complex that's one step above the ghetto.

My freeper mother really dislikes me, my politics, my intelligence, my manner of speech and dress, etc., but I guess she doesn't want me to get murdered (if they'd kicked in my door instead of my neighbor's, who knows what would have happened? I wasn't at a Superbowl party. I was home working on my laptop, listening to my stereo, get my point?)

Anyway, so my mother and I got me another apartment today. At least, I think we did. They run a criminal background check on everyone. I know I'll pass it. If my mother has no dirty secrets, LOL, she'll pass, too, and I'll get to start moving on Wednesday. She won't be living there, but is a co-applicant. My parents have a great income, and she's the "guarantor" on the lease. It's a much better complex than this one. Much safer area. Much higher rent, but I guess I can always get another part-time job, at Wal*mart, maybe. Or Subway.

Anyway, I had already paid February's rent here. Despite the fact that I'll be out by Thursday night -- February 5th -- I will not be getting one cent of the rent back. Argued with the owner for a long time today. He laughed at me. Laughed in my face. (What did I expect out of a slumlord, huh?) What makes me want to SLIT MY FUCKING WRISTS is that the rent isn't "late" until the 6th. If I hadn't been doing the "right" thing -- paying it on the 1st -- I would have enough money to actually make this move not gut-wrenchingly difficult. My mother is paying the fees to get me into the apartment, but I have to pay transfer fees for my phone and utilities and all that bullshit now. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. (And although I'm not above asking, getting more money from her would be so expensive, in ways that have nothing to do with money, that I just don't know if it would be worth it to "go there.")

I have $3.11 in my checking account. That won't even buy a college kid for a couple of hours to help.

I have an extremely bad back and no health insurance to see the doctor if/when it goes out.

Most of my friends are in their 30's and 40's and 50's, and their backs are not any better than mine.

The new apartment is upstairs.

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

I just got home from the Wal*mart Supercenter. Hint: If you're moving, show up at the Supercenter at midnight. The stockers will be all to eager to give you all the boxes you can possibly handle.

I'm packing, popping muscle relaxers like there's no tomorrow, having back spasms, and crying. I'm glad to be getting out of a hellish neighborhood but scared to death as to how I'm going to pay for it.

On Sunday, I will go to church and ask God to forgive me for wishing my current landlord would die a slow, painful death.

I haven't slept since it happened. My adrenalin has not died down. I AM going to go lie down and at least rest, even though I'm sure I won't sleep.

To anyone who got to the end of this very long post, thank you for listening.

I had an interesting conversation with the Wal*mart lady who broke down the boxes for me, but that will have to wait for another post.

January 20th, 2005 can't get here soon enough for me (and if the conversations I had with Wal*mart workers -- most of them religious white males, believe it or not -- are any indication, * will be lucky to not get his ass beaten BADLY in November).

Goodnight, y'all.

SGW

stuff. I've done that twice this past year. All I can
do is send you good vibes and hugs. It will get better.
Hang in there and believe. You are not alone.

I am delighted you are in a better place.

I have this neat trick you can try, where I sort of Fed-Ex the pain to myself in the future. If you concentrate on it hard enough, you can will yourself to do things that might seem in retrospect to be almost superhuman. (There's really no mysticism involved here; it's all mind over matter.)

I'm sorry about your landlord. Unfortunately, if your landlord-tenant laws are anything like here, you're simply screwed. Another thing you can do is bone up on the relevant legislation so you don't get bitten again.

I don't suppose you have any large burly young friends you can get to help you move, do you? I'd loan you some of mine, but I think I'm too far away.

Take care, and good luck! You need it!

Hang in there. :)

check the law as there might be some provision for someone who has to get out to protect their own safety.

There's also the possibility of filing a suit against the landlord for not providing appropriate safeguards so that you didn't have to be in this situation in the first place. While he has the rent, you file the suit for 100 times that and he's more than happy to settle by giving you the rent for the month to get you to go away. While an average lawyer will charge you so much it's not worth it, if you know how to write and research, you can file on your own with the help of a consulting attorney.

I really feel for you, having to move all that stuff with a back problem going on. That will only aggravate it.


Cher

Trust God, forgive the landlord, forget him, move on.

edit: Really NJCher, I posted this in the wrong spot, I mean it it was not in response to you!!

The loss of the rent is a small price to pay for the better position you have found yourself in. Yes, it hurts, but in the grand scheme of things, you have done well. From the landlord's point of view, you are supposed to give at least 30 days that you will be vacating the premises. By leaving suddenly, the landlord cannot get another tenant in to move in, so he loses money if people just split. On the other hand, it was unusual circumstances, and as a matter of courtesy, he should have given you a break. Can you MAKE him give you a break? No. So stop thinking about the lost rent and focus on the tasks at hand. No use crying over spilled milk.

I'm absolutely certain though that you can survive without getting that rent money back. Count the many blessings that you have, and get ready to do your thing. :bounce:

I have lived all over the world in bad and good neighborhoods. They won't come back for you and be happy you are getting out of the horrible place.

If you go to College post a note up.
"Free beer and pizza in exchage for help on moving and packing".

I wouldn't want strangers going through my apartment helping me pack. This person is a witness to a burglary, not a victim. I think the best strategy is: Calm Down.

If I paid for the month I would move the larger things out and go to my new apt and live and come back during the day and pack and move the little things.

I have lived in large cities and the neighborhoods were not that great at times.

What she may not know is her neighbor could have owed the people money that ripped him off and he got his door kicked in because they were collecting.

It's life and you have to move on and I know this sounds bad. We can sit around and say that we can't manage but deep inside we can.

Contact the Department of Housing and Urban Development about your landlord. Explain the situation to a telephone counselor and ask for a complaint packet. Then, complete the complaint, show it to the said landlord and advise him that a return of overpaid rent is in order or the packet goes to the Feds. He'll be scared shitless because any audit they investigate goes back years and if there's a perceived pattern of abuse, he'll be in deep doo-doo for fines. Believe me, it worked for me last year and I got deposits back for an illegal eviction. Landlords don't want the Feds breathing down their neck or combing over their books. Hang in there and be proactive about fighting back. Another option is to contact your local legal aid for a pro bono attorney, it sounds like your financial situation supports it.

This was a property crime happening to someone else. There's no trauma here.

I think it the breeze blowing over that cold-hearted comment.

The cops should have cautioned the witnesses not to over-react. There's no reason for kick-the-door-down burglars to contact anybody who might have seen them. The very nature of the crime suggests they don't care who sees them.

The burglars got what they came for, and they've gotten away with it. There's no reason for them to harm or contact witnesses. That's what the cop should have told this person. There is zero danger here.

Won't people in your church help you move? What about standing up and asking, if your church has one of those sessions ("blessings") after the sermon?

are great. I wish you comfort with your back. Please let us know when you're safe and sound in your new place.

He could make you pay for March if he wanted. I feel bad for your situation but the money part is legal. Keep in mind it might take your landlord a while to find another tenant.

Did you talk to the police about your fears of retaliation because you're a witness to a crime? They might have some helpful advice. Or they could be insensitve pricks, but you never know till you ask.

the point here is that the landlord is in dereliction of his duty to provide safe living quarters. I'm a landlord, too, but if I had this situation I would feel some responsibility over the incident. If she's going to get any of the money back, she needs to leverage her situation.

So while you're technically correct, this isn't a black and white situation. It's a gray situation because she's taking the hit over a situation that she had nothing to do with.


Cher

p.s. I would also add that I like solinvictus' idea, too.

She saw a crime being committed and she's afraid that the criminals will come back and make trouble for her. Her fears may be understandable, but in fact they are baseless. The guys who kicked down the door have no reason to contact her.

There's no compelling reason for her to move. Her own apartment is still habitable. She went to the landlord for the return of her February rent and he refused. The law is on his side.

center near you and they will refer you.

The victim advocacy may offer to help you even if you are not technically a victim.

Don't delay in this; you deserve to feel safe.

Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry to hear about this. I'm afraid all I can do is give you lots of :hug::hug::hug::hug: and :loveya:

I'll be keeping up w/ the saga.

If you need someone to talk to, call me collect. Seriously. Check your PM.

I wish I could wave my hand and all of your problems would disappear.

God...all I can offer you is my prayers and thoughts and hopes that things will get better very, very soon. Small consolation, I know.

Terry

On the order of victus' suggestion--

Check and see if there is a Tenants' Council for your area. They may be able to provide good advice for your situation and provide some alternatives that maybe you weren't familiar with.

Where are you? Probably too far, but if I know anyone there I could call them.

FSC

Just know that you're moving in the right direction. We're not always "where" we need to be, but each step we take toward that point is a worthy effort.

I'll be trying to send you good vibes.

:grouphug: Thank you all so very much. I finally fell asleep for a couple of hours, and I am taking the suggestions here to try to get my money back. I'll keep you all posted.

I can't believe I didn't even think of getting moving help at church. The Youth Group is full of 16 and 17 year old boys with strong backs. I'm going to call the Youth Pastor and tell him he can preach Wednesday night on Service to the Poor and Afflicted, and then send them over to help me for a real-life object lesson. He'll do it, too. He's a great guy.

Thanks again, y'all.

So, so happy to be a Duer,

:loveya:

SGW

A burglary is not a serious crime, it happens too often. You would have something to worry about if you had witnessed a serious crime, one that's actually investigated. In the case of a burglary, the police take the report, that's all they do. The burglars know there's no chance you'll ever testify against them.

Victims of burglary think it's serious because it happened to them. But the cops and the burglars know it's not. You will never have to testify about what you saw, and the guys who broke the door down forgot all about an hour afterward. They are certainly not going back to your apartment building to make trouble for you.

See if you can get your new landlord to wait a month.

Don't let anyone downplay this for you--you may actually be in danger, and you know better than anyone else how afraid you feel. Years ago, I lived in an apartment that overlooked the parking lot. One night, I heard a loud car and looked out the window just in time to see a man shot and killed and a woman being thrown into a car that sped off.

I called 911 and then sat down to wait for the police to arrive. When they did show up, they all had to troop into my apartment and look out my windows to see the view. At one point, a couple of hours into the whole thing I ran out of cigarettes and told them I was running down the street to get another pack. They refused to let me leave claiming I might be in danger as a witness.

I explained to them that THEY might be in danger if I was forced to sit for long without smoking so one of the Detectives GAVE me his pack of cigarettes. They were very good to me that night and offered to have someone stay there with me...

I left town the next morning and stayed with a buddy of mine for a few days, but I never felt safe there again. I broke the lease a couple weeks later and moved out. EVERY time I walked in and out of that building I remembered what I'd seen.

It does fade with time--and you will find that once you are out of that place the healing comes much faster. It may be difficult now, but in the long run, I think you are correct to get out--no matter the cost.

Pax to you, and feel free to PM me if you want to just vent--OK?

Laura

She witnessed a burglary, not a homicide. Homicides are investigated; burglaries aren't. It maybe that this particular kick-the-door-down group of burglars is doing this so often that detectives actually are assigned to look for them. That still doesn't put witnesses in any danger, because the case doesn't depend on their statements. If the cops learn who did it, they'll make the case by locating the stolen property.

Think of this from various perspectives. Burglars who have broken in and gotten away with the loot are happy and settled about it. The cops who examined the crime scene and issued a police report are happy and settled about it. The landlord is insured for the damage to the door that was kicked down; he's happy and settled about it.

The event is over. Because nearly all the major players are happy and settled with the outcome, there's no longer any motion. The one remaining player, the victim, isn't happy but has no options to do anything. A witness to a property crime? Not part of it at all.

You don't know and I don't know what she witnessed, do we?
You've spent a lot of your initial posts here telling someone who asked for support from other DUers that she isn't in danger when she could be.
You must be quite young IMO.

She was frightened by seeing a door kicked in by criminals. That's an understandable reaction, and so is her wish to move out. However, her fear that the burglars are coming back to get her is not reasonable. Burglars don't go back and intimidate witnesses, it's not part of the profile. She just needs to calm down, there's no bogeyman here.

no one can do that, no system, no profile, no formula, no bio-metrics etc.
It can't be done outside of a controlled environment, right?

But the fact remains that when you see something like that happen it really DOES undermine your feeling of safety and security in your home. Most likely, in 99.99% of burglary cases it is no big deal--but hearing that and actually feeling safe in the night are two different things.

Many people are never exposed to crimes like seeing a door kicked in or seeing anyone killed. There is not any real way to prepare for it mentally, and it does leave you feeling brutalized. Many times taking action of some sort helps give a feeling of taking control back again.

Being TOLD "You are totally safe" does little good for most folks.


Pax to you.

Laura

It's possible that she won't feel comfortable in that apartment again, having seen criminals kick in the door down the hall. She admits that her panic may come from watching too much television, but her panic may also come from being constantly reminded, as we all are, that the world is full of bogeymen looking to harm us.

There is also an element here of being someplace where she doesn't belong. She speaks of her apartment being just above the ghetto, where such events happen routinely. That would explain why she mentioned her mother's political leanings.

There's no need to fear the burglars; they won't contact her again. If the cops didn't tell her that, they should have.

Desperate people do crazy things.

Also, you are completely wrong about burglaries not being investigated. My place was burglarized and within three minutes of my call there were eight police officers combing the mountain for clues. The followup on the burglary was also good. I know for a fact they brought people who had confessed to burglary back here to see if they had burglarized this particular house.


Cher

and you have!
All power to the people.

You WILL get through this. Hang in there and let us know how you're doing!

I've hesitated at times in the past when I was really broke and scared, but my parents and/or brothers have always come through.

Good luck. You will get through this.

was there a reason besides random crime behind the break-in...?
if so- you might not have as much to worry about- although it's probably best to get out anyway...
BTW- if your landlord isn't going to return your deposit or any rent, and you've paid thru feb...Don't turn in the keys until the end of the month, go down to a shelter, and find out if there are any homeless people that need a place to crash for a few weeks.

She doesn't have to worry but for her to feel safe she needs to move.

Great Idea about letting homeless people live in the apt. for a few weeks but the only problem is she signed a lease and she is responsible for the apt. if something gets damaged.