I got called a "Heffer" today. (A sort of long, yet entertaining rant)

You'd think if someone was going to insult you, you'd think they'd at least spell it correctly. Here's the deal: There's this chick who works in our office, wait, did I say work? I meant she comes to work everyday and is a lazy slob who basically thinks we're all there to clean up after her and does very little work. She decided we HAVE to give our boss a present for Christmas. Four working days before Christmas. She sends out a mass email and basically asks for money. I hit reply to all to let everyone know that I didn't initiate this because after all the activities we've had the last few weeks, I'm broke and I haven't even bought my family presents yet. And figured the same for them. So she emails me back and tells me that she already knew that. I emailed her back and told her, "If you will notice, I hit reply to all. I hadn't told everyone yet." I'm a little matter of fact when I'm busy. And then instead of hitting forward, she hits reply. This is where she called me a "heffer", and whines about how I just go out of my way to be crappy to her. I do not go out of my way to be crappy. I go out of my way to ignore her existence, as she is self involved and I am tired of cleaning up after her. We email if we need something from the other one professionally, but other than that, I'm not friendly, I'm polite, and not rude. I just don't go out of my way to be friendly to her. Apparently she thinks I like to make her feel bad. Brackets are redacted names and my comments.

So I emailed her back and told her what I thought of her: "I think you just sent this to me by mistake, but I'm sort of glad you did.
If you understood how hurtful it is to other people when you do stuff like this on short notice. Not everyone has a rich husband and only work for S&Gs. Yes, deserves a Christmas gift, but it is especially crappy when we've been stretched so thin with the rest of the crap we have done this week.
I don't go out of my way to be crappy to you. I go out of my way to ignore your existence because while the rest of us are working our asses off, you seem to be doing absolutely nothing but walking around talking to people or on your cell phone. Even if that's not how it is, that is what it appears to be. It also makes look bad. I resent that myself, as he is probably the best supervisor any of us have ever worked for, and if that's the way he's repaid, it's completely crappy. That's why our attitudes have changed towards you in the last few months. I'm not one of those fake people who are nice to people only when it suits them. I try my best not to be a hypocrite. I don't resort to calling you names though. No matter who I am talking to. So, basically, that's how I feel."

The reply: "I did send it to you by mistake and I am sorry about that. I just blow at the mouth sometimes as well as everyone else has. You can have what ever opinion you want of me, luckily you are not my judge and jury or my supervisor. I should not have called anyone names but I do not appreciate you judging me either. You have no idea NONE how hard and I have both worked to put him through law school nor do you have any idea how much money we have or not have or why I work here. No one does here.

Never mind it does not matter at all...I should not have even gone there. I guess my stats on how much I work proves differently on your theory on how much I work or do not.

You did not deserve for me to be mean and for that I am sorry.
I learned my lesson about being childish and not paying attention. I don't know how you can be "glad" but I am glad you are not as emotional as I am. We both go out of our way to ignore each other it is fine with me.

Thanks for e-mailing me back!"

So, what do you think? I think it's a load of childish bullshit, and I wish she would go away. I do not have time for this melodramatic BS. Sorry this is so long. I'm just frustrated and needed to vent. Thanks!
Duckie

This is not going to die easily. :(

:hug:
I think you're right.

If it gets worse, I will complain to HR.
Thanks for the :hug:
Duckie

this part here in her reply to you:

The reply: "I did send it to you by mistake and I am sorry about that. I just blow at the mouth sometimes as well as everyone else has. You can have what ever opinion you want of me, luckily you are not my judge and jury or my supervisor. I should not have called anyone names but I do not appreciate you judging me either. You have no idea NONE how hard and I have both worked to put him through law school nor do you have any idea how much money we have or not have or why I work here. No one does here.

she seems a tad resentful about that---yes? Maybe that explains why she behaves the way she does, not excusing it mind you but it looks like she brings her home problems to work--yes?

Her husband hasn't been home in the two years I've know her, and he keeps telling her that the weather is too bad for her to come to Wyoming. Am I the only one who sees that he doesn't want her to come up?

at work. you shouldn't have to deal with her like that in a work envioment, no one should, she's unhappy and she needs to get some help/counseling/divorce lawyer.

Boy, is she dumb!

I agree, glue the phone.

Keep the emails, but bear in mind you'll have to show them yours, so be the "good guy" in all your correspondence. That way, if anyone were to have to read them to say... fire her or something, none of your actions would be questioned.

Were those real?

I hate to come down on you on this one, but hitting "reply to all" and saying that you didn't initiate anything and explaining your financial situation was the bad beginning to an ugly episode. Everyone already knew you didn't initiate it, and they don't all need to know your financial situation.

And I am totally confused with your comment "instead of hitting forward she hit reply". It probably doesn't matter in the overall story, but it sits there like an unexplained monkey in an operating room.

Of course, she seems childish and mean, but then you did say to her that you go out of your way to ignore her. Sounds to me like you are feeding the fire of melodrama. The best way to exit it is not to engage - not to write lengthy emails back to her.

But I felt as if it needed to be said.
Also I explained that she hit reply instead of forward because it explains that she didn't really mean to email it to me. :shrug:
I did feed into it, but I said my peace and it was done. She kept on, but I no longer engaged.
Thanks for being honest.
Duckie

Gotcha!

Sounds like the whole thing was pretty ugly.

I'm still not sure why you responded to everyone to tell them that you didn't write the original email.

Not that you need to explain yourself to me; I'm just curious what the motivations were.

Sounds like she really bugs the living shit out of you. She'd probably drive me insane, too. Especially if you quoted her verbatim - anyone who writes that poorly shouldn't be working in a professional office.

Also, a friend of mine emailed to let everyone know she was out, so I hit reply to all as well. I'm the cruise director of the office, and I plan the parties, buy the gifts, and make sure everything is fun when the time comes.
Duckie

It's making more sense now.

Cheers!

Ignore her. You did make a value judgment on her when it probably would've been better to innocently let her know that she'd replied instead of forwarded. But....

As an alternative, go shit on her porch. She deserves it.

And that shit needed to be said.
Duckie

I've never really been that good at sitting on my hands. It isn't wise to fling shit back, but sometimes it just feels good.

And you were very reserved in flinging shit back. :D

She is nuts!
Keep ignoring her, and she will make all that trouble come back to herself.

:hug:

And that is great advice. I will continue to ignore her. I was planning on it.
Duckie

:hug:

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