What do you suppose this means about me?

I seem to go through boyfriends like Sherman through Georgia. I mean it's to the point where my kids actually tease me about having some sort of problem with commitment. The thing is I'm usually not the one to break things off and most of the men I've been involved with want to maintain a friendship (no, seriously, a friendship where they introduce me to their new girlfriends and invite me to parties and seek me out to talk to). I'm not what anyone would call beautiful but I do have a sharp wit and a great sense of humor. I'm very loyal to the people I care about. Many of my exes have told me that I am one of the sexiest women they've been with but yet they don't want me. They want my friendship (with no ulterior motives) but they never want to stay in a relationship with me. I'm really feeling sorry for myself, so many of the men I've dated have ended up marrying the next woman they date after me and I'm happy for them and generally speaking find their new loves to be lovely, intelligent women that I would like as friends, but nobody wants to stay with me. I'm scared because I feel so alone. Why am I good enough to be a friend (a real friend -- as I said, they introduce me to their new GFs and all that and there's not hanky panky) but I'm not good enough to fall in love with. Yeah I went and mixed that Jamesons with some Dr. Pepper and I'm a little bit drunk and self-pitying right now. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be embarrassed and regret posting this but right now, I'm feeling sad and wondering why I'm never enough.

I went through that phase until I met my wife when I was in my late 30s

Although I realize that sentiment will sound cliched and not particularly helpful right now

But in certain circles I used to run in, mixing Jamesons with ANYTHING including ice was cause for the death sentence!

Nil Disperandum. I would only say that perhaps you're looking too hard and looking at the wrong category of men. I used to know many females in my distant past who thought well of me but not quite well enough. In retrospect I would say that I am grateful none of them picked up on me: most of them would have been an unmitigated disaster in the long run.

Remember that intelligence and what is inside the head trumps anything outside it (in both you and what you're looking at); but it does take a special person to eventually say "Oh yeah, there's a REAL PERSON inside there. That'll work just fine."

Bon chance.

Forget about them

You need a man that knows who you are on the inside and out and will stand with you through Heaven and Hell.

You are sexy. Stay sexy and confident in yourself... Nothing is more sexier than that

That they respect and value you as a person and a friend.
It says a lot of wonderful things about you as a person.
You stated yourself you are sexy w/ a sharp wit and funny.
You just haven't met Mr right yet..
You will..
I hope you feel better.
And I hope your head doesn't hurt when you awaken.

Hang in there and it'll happen, probably when you least expect it. That's what has happened with me, met someone when I wasn't looking...:-)

Rhiannon:hug:

the men you date are not as intelligent as you. During your relationships, do you find yourself to be the more intelligent partner? Are you always giving them advice and never needing theirs? Maybe you end up teaching them all you know and then they simply move on to a woman who is closer to their level of intelligence (emotionally and/or mentally). This has happened to me several times. I'm not saying I am the smartest girl, but i dated some not so smart (though not completely stupid)men. The relationship would end and they would marry the next girl they met. I was bummed. Then I met a man who is sooooo intelligent that I find we learn from each other, rather than the one-sided relationships I had before. Don't worry. You just haven't met the right man yet. It will happen when you least expect it. I know everyone says that because they used to say it to me, and I didn't believe them, but IT'S TRUE!!!

BTW, I am still friends with most all of my exes and they still ask me for advice now and then.

I'm the last one to ask, as I haven't had or been an "ex" since 1974,
but I just have to think that you just have had bad luck spinning life's
roulette wheel, and have hit every number but your own up to now, much as
the odds are against that. It doesn't mean that your man isn't out there, it
means that your ships keep passing in the night, and will connect, as Alan Funt
put it, "sometime, somewhere, when you least expect it."

It happened to me taking a break while playing at a cabaret in West Berlin
in July 1974. If you had asked me the likelihood of THAT a year earlier, I would
have asked what kind of hallucinogen you were on. But here we are together,
thirty-three years later. No guarantees, but don't let anyone (including yourself!)
convince you it won't happen. Even Sherman came to a stop at some point.