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Holy Sh*t It's Christmas
By Red Peters
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKYfcOE1R4A&feature=related
Hamster #1: Did you hear that?
Hamster #2: Hey everybody, Santa's here!
Hamster #3: Aw, there ain't no Santa Claus.
Hamster #2: There is, too!
Hamsters: He's here!!!
Red: Ho, ho, ho...Merry Christmas!
Hamster #1: Aw shit, it's Red Peters!
Red: C'mon, you swinging hamsters, get over here. We're gonna sing us a happy Christmas song.
Hamster #3: Oh no, not another corny stupid song!
Hamster #2: Yeah no way.
Red: Get over here and sing or I'll wring your little necks.
Hamsters: Okay, okay
Red: Grab your nuts hamsters, gather round with me. Forget about all that teasin'. We're breaking out the holly and aluminum tree Cause it's that jolly season. I know you've been naughty, but have you been nice? That's only Santa's business He's making his list and he's checking it twice.
All: Holy shit, it's Christmas!
Hamsters: Santa comes just once a year Just like you, Red. That's what we hear. He's got a soft spot for reindeer. Especially Rudolph's derierre.
Red: Hey, knock it off fellas. It's a holiday. Go on, give Santa a big kiss. You can play "hide the hamster" on the one-horse sleigh.
All: Holy shit, it's Christmas!
Red: Hey what happened to my lyric sheet? Anyone seen my lyric sheet?
Hamster #1: Heck, we don't need no lyric sheets, Red. We know our parts by heart. Right, fellas?
Hamster #3: Yeah sure, I know my part
Hamster #2: Yeah me too
Red: Well that's great, guys. I love Christmas songs.
Godfried: Santa tried reaching up the neighbor's blouse After drinking all the egg nog Bruce: Camped out in the bathroom for an hour or two Squashing off a yule log Raleigh: He wandered in his undies all over the house But we minded our own business Hamsters: Til we caught him stuffing hamsters up a gift wrap tube.
All: Holy shit, it's Christmas
Red: Santa comes just once a year. Up the chimney he'll disappear.
Hamsters: Keep on the lookout for Mr. Gear Hamster deliveries in the rear
Red: Gimme those lyrics Roastnuts chestin' on an open fire Santa's tongue stuck to the doorknob His balls got fondled by a caroling choir While the parson gave him a hand...what? The sleigh came down and took him away. The whole damn crowd was dismissed.
All: It was a time to be jolly and a time to be gay. Holy shit, it's Christmas. Holy shit, it's Christmas. Holy Shit! It's Christmas!
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