The judge gave my God daughter to the Monsters.

My best friend went to trial before Thanksgiving to defend a full custody suit with her ex and his new wife. It's the new wife that really wants my god daughter for herself. I don't know what her issue is other than she's a psychotic Christo-fascist freeper. Well, my friend just found out this morning that the judge awarded custody to the ex. My friend is devastated, and is about to have her second baby any second. Now, the father of the baby, who originally didn't want the baby, is going to go after the new born since my friend lost her custody case. She has been through hell and back and all she wants it to be a mother to her children and left alone. She even moved to another state to be farther away from the psychos, but now they have her daughter, and she's farther away.

I'm just beside myself. I wish there was something I could do to make it right. I wish there was something I could do to convince the judge of what a horrible mistake he has made and how much danger he has put my god daughter into. I really fucking hate the system.

:cry:

decisions family court judges have made. Apparently they don't look stupid from the bench. :(

I don't even know what the judge was thinking.

Fingers crossed for the appeal process, I guess.

:(

:(

I'm so sorry. :hug:

Thanks for the hug.

:hug:

I'm sure your friend appreciates your love and support right now -- what a terrible thing for her to go through. How far will she be from her daughter?

And why does the new baby's dad suddenly want him/her because of this ruling??? That makes no sense... :grr: :wtf:


Wish i could help somehow... :(


:hug:

My first instinct is to wonder what is wrong with the mother that she would lose custody of her kid in a court system that greatly favors mothers over fathers. If she was held in such low regard by the court, he might feel concern for the kid she is about to bear.

Good for you for giving people the benefit of the doubt... now you have made me feel like a nasty cynic :)

Of course i don't know any details, so i can't say either way... just hope everything works out OK for the kids.

It could be the venue of jurisdiction where the case was heard.

It could also be that the mother has an ineffective or too distant attorney to make thigs work in a timely and favorable manner for the mother.

There are so many other reasons regarding the current outcome of this case that may have nothing to do with the mother's abitlity to care for and keep full or joint custody of her children.

are good or bad.

It's his mother who wants it.

The father has about 10 kids floating out there, but he only claims one. My friend has to put his name on the birth certificate in Colorado by law, so it opens the door for his mother because Colorado has grandparent laws.

:shrug:

It's completely overwhelming and complicated. Small town drama taken to a national scale kind of thing.

The system SERIOUSLY favors mothers over fathers.
So what happened that the judge chose to put the child in a home with the father & his new wife?

So, she really can't get a job yet.

Maybe that was a factor.

My friend is in Colorado and her daughter is in Oklahoma. So, it's a bit of a drive and the ex won't let my god daughter fly alone. :eyes:

And it's not really the daddy that wants the kid in so much as the daddy's mother that wants her grandchild.

WTF is it with all these women wanting to take away my friend's kids? :wtf:

I mean seriously...Go have your own kids and leave her alone! :grr::grr::grr:


Thanks for letting me vent.
:hug:

and being there is helping her out!

What a difficult situation -- it's so sad when custody can't be worked out amicably. The innocent kid always ends up in the middle of the mess. :(

:hug:

But this is as devastating for her as when her mom died.

I have the feeling a lot of this would not have happened if her mom hadn't died. But maybe that's just wishful thinking.

:shrug:

the ex is under obligation to return the child, even if it means he travels with her on a plane.

If the ruling is in effect immediately, and filed per court/county/state rules, then the ex has no obligation to return the child...and that is very sad for the child. However, if filing has not been done, the child must be returned to the mother until all documents are in place that state she no longer has custody.

Did the judge remove any visitation rights of the mother? If he did, then her attorney will have good recourse to help reverse that, as well as possibly making inroads to changing the decision as heard by another judge, possibly different venue, to make this a joint custody rather than full custody issue.
A mother cannot be denied her rights to her child unless proven in court by facts beyond circumstantial/hearsay evidence that she is unfit, and her parental rights are officially removed. And, to prove a mother unfit must occur in a separate case from the custody case.

Sorry for going on about this, and I know how complicated custody issues/cases can be. But, this whole thing stinks to high heaven, and am thinking that the appeal process has to be very strong in order to move this case in the mother's, and especially the child's, favor. I also think, but am not totally sure, that the judge who made this ruling cannot be the judge of venue for the appeal, or at least it can be presented as needing second look by a different judge to maintain impartiality of the legal/court system.

"that the judge who made this ruling cannot be the judge of venue for the appeal, or at least it can be presented as needing second look by a different judge to maintain impartiality of the legal/court system."

That is so very fucking true.

:(

This is a tough place for your friend to be in! Dammit!

What does her attorney say? Was the case being tried in the original venue as the divorce? Or, was it tried only where the ex currently resides because he initiated the proceedings?

Does she have appeal recourse? Are other agencies involved at this point, such as CPS, Welfare, Human Sevices, etc., that made this decision not come out in her favor?

Is she getting another attorney?

Was your friend granted visitation rights? Has she been documenting all that has happened, things siad by the ex, the new wife, the child?

Does she have anyone to stand with her/by her as she goes through this and the upcoming birth of her second child?


Am so sorry, Venus, that this has happened. I would be beside myself about this, too :hug:

Her attorney is completely confused by the ruling. He kept saying he doesn't understand this at all.

The proceedings were with the original judge from the divorce proceedings (which the ex never showed to).

She does have an appeal recourse and she will be talking to her attorney more about that.

There were no agencies involved just a bunch of liars taking the stand for her ex, including my friend's sociopathic brother.

I don't know anything about what she was granted, only that she lost. She couldn't stop crying long enough to talk. I only got "yes" or "no" from her.

She does have someone who is helping her out. She is living with a very good friend in Colorado, and she will be helping my friend through everything.

Thanks, Whoa_Nelly. This sucks for sure.

:hug:

:hug:

:hug:

:pals: :hug: :loveya: :hi:

by another man she isn't married to and her brother took the stand against her all added up.
Right or wrong, the judge probably thought he was placing the daughter in the most stable environment.

Stress can be very harmful - help her stay calm and relaxed as possible and worry about the custody after the child is born.

Me too.

:hug:

Who knows if the same is the case where your friend is? Plus, the "christian" thing may have worked in his favor, but I don't know the situation. It really sucks though. Thank god my STBE has no desire to take the kids from me. Your story reminds me how lucky I am.

I wouldn't wish this kind of heartache on any one.

:hug:

you first posted about this.....

I'm sorry it came to this conclusion....

I will keep my fingers crossed for a quick appeal....


:hug:

lost

I hope it goes better in the appeal.

:hug:

on a 50/50 basis?? Custody fights suck. Your friend needs to especially take care of herself right now, being pregnant.

This is all happening in Texas court.

I have no idea what her plan is other than have the baby she's carrying.

can your friend find out if the judge has a bias because of his religious beliefs? can she move back and arrange some sort of shared custody so that everyone "wins?" I cannot believe that a court would want to take a newborn baby from its mother. Surely not. The ex m-i-l is a fundie who wants to raise the kid?

Ask the judge to watch "jesus camp." :wtf:

I obviously don't know all the circumstances, but this is tragic, no matter what. so sorry.

This decision is about my 6 year old god daughter. The exes all run in a fundie circle together now. It's a very complicated tale and very tragic.

My friend is a flawed woman in the fact that she is nice to a fault and stretches out her neck for people to slice her throat. It kills me that she is like that, but I understand because I only know her to be that way.

My only advice for her after this ruling is to document, document, document anything and everything that happens from now on.

Does she even get any visitation rights?

:hug: :hug: for you!

There is even an assault caught on audio tape, but apparently, the judge doesn't care about that.

I don't a whole lot of details right now.

Thanks for the hugs.

:hug:

:hug: I am so sorry.

And Welcome to DU, btw!

:hi::hug:

"custody cases" are a fair percentage of my jobs. I will follow the custodian and gather evidence (drinking, late hours, other bad behavior...) and the people who want custody will use this in future hearings and petitions.

Getting a good PI can be a tad expensive (typically 60-80$ per hour surveillance) but it is a good investment.

Let me know if you have any questions about fixing this matter.

She thought she was doing enough by taping every encounter. Guess not. :shrug:

are they drinkers? that can really be used against them if the PI steals their garbage and finds beer bottles and such.

If they have trully bad habits that could harm the child, ask your attorney whether a PI could help you out

I know this situation well. Here are some surrounding circumstances, in case anyone would like these details.

1. Venus' friend is the nicest person you could ever meet...in fact, she is too nice, and attracts predators. Her two ex husbands are both predators. The first (the one that just got custody) has been committed for mental illness in his past. Now he is a psycho Christian employee of Halliburton. The second husband was a "high school sweetheart" who is clearly sociopathic...he will lie at the drop of a hat and feel absolutely no compunction for the evil that he does.

...and people may not like this as an issue in this case, but here it is. Another tidbit about the 2nd husband is that he is bisexual, and closeted about it. He partners are his friends....they publically are homophobic in the extreme, but aparently not so in private. Well...in the divorce proceeding, Venus' friends' attorney forced that issue out into the public. There is a strong desire for revenge amongst this group of friends...one of which is Venus' friend's brother.

2. The judge is well-known to be lazy, corrupt, and inept....welcome to Texas! Her 1st husband's new wife (the one who has obessed about getting the child) is a county commissioner in a neighboring county in Oklahoma. In the past the judge has held up proceedings for months because he refused to hear ANYONE's case because of some personal dispute with city hall over his office. In the past, he has ruled without reviewing evidence.

3. The 1st husband's new wife has been calling CPS constantly on Venus' friend, leading to numerous investigations. None of these investigations turned up any reason for Venus' friend to be deemed an unfit mother. There was, of course, no recourse for the false accuser except that after a while, CPS no longer took her calls seriously. Meanwhile, every time the child comes back from visiting her father, she is aggressive, defensive, etc., and gets into fights with other children. It has come out in therapy with the child many times that she exhibits the behavior of an abused child, and the child even says that her fathers yells constantly during role-playing.


There is so much more....enough to fill volumes. But in a nutshell, we have small town social bullshit mixed up with the welfare of an abused child. On one side, you have a single mother with no resources, and on the other side you have a group of friends with a bone to pick willing to lie upon the stand, a corrupt judge, and a paintiff who is a psycho Christian who happens to be the daughter of a prominent area politician.

Sure, there might not be something Venus' friend is telling us, but I do not think this is the case. What we have here is justice in America...bought and paid for.

Sometimes there just is no justice.:hug:'s to her.

It amazes me that the justice system can be so negligent when it comes to children.

I cant even imagine how she must feel

That's just awful for her. :(

Welcome to DU, classykaren!
:hi:

so sorry to hear this

the system sometimes sucks eggs or worse

:hug:

It's not the decision we wanted to hear by a long shot.

Hopefully, she will have a better chace during the appeal.

:hug: