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Dr. Strange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-05-08 07:20 PM
Original message
Need help with a technical journalism assignment.
I've got the first step figured out. But I need help with the rest. Anyway, here's how it starts:

Step 1. Grasp the kumquat firmly in the left hand.

Suggestions?
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rug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-05-08 07:21 PM
Response to Original message
1. Use your right hand.
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RushIsRot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-05-08 08:02 PM
Response to Original message
2. I didn't know kumquats HAD left hands! Do they have right hands as well?
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Dr. Strange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-05-08 08:14 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. This is why we're writing these journals!
For those who are unfamiliar with kumquatery.
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RushIsRot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-05-08 10:50 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. I have seen a kumquat. I have even eaten a kumquat. I prefer apples.
What exactly is the appeal of these tiny citrus fruits called kumquats, other than their unusual name? An orange has much better flavor and more volume. A tangerine is easier to peel.
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Dr. Strange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-05-08 11:35 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. With all due respect, I really think you're comparing apples and oranges.
And kumquats and tangerines.
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RushIsRot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-06-08 01:17 PM
Response to Reply #8
16. I was reasonably certain that I was comparing apples to KUMQUATS.
But then, we have yet to define one of those little rascals! (Kumquats, I mean.) My main goal was to mention something that was a bit more edible.

Do you actually consume kumquats or merely write about them?
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Dr. Strange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-06-08 06:10 PM
Response to Reply #16
20. This is a writing exercise...
no consumption allowed.
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struggle4progress Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-06-08 12:07 AM
Response to Reply #6
11. A kumquat was a friend of mine. And you, sir, are no kumquat
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RushIsRot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-06-08 12:59 PM
Response to Reply #11
14. You cannot begin to understand the relief I feel! Thanks for the
definitive confirmation.
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CatholicEdHead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-05-08 08:25 PM
Response to Original message
4. And you have a Democratic Primary form in your right
(for states that actually have those ;) )
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DarkTirade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-05-08 08:26 PM
Response to Original message
5. You need to pain the kumquats red.
Then convince George Washington that the kumquat tree is in fact a cherry tree so he will then proceed to chop the sucker down, thereby eliminating the kumquat tree in the future so that your time travelling friend who got sent into the future will no longer be stuck in said kumquat tree.
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Dr. Strange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-06-08 01:56 PM
Response to Reply #5
18. pain the kumquats red?
What's up with the veggie bondage? I can't use this!
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DarkTirade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-06-08 02:53 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. ... yes. Pain them.
That's exactly what I meant. :silly:
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quip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-05-08 11:13 PM
Response to Original message
7. hehe he said "kumquat"
Definitely top five funniest words in the English vocabulary. :hi:
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Dr. Strange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-05-08 11:36 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. I hesitate to ask what the other four are...
temeah, how you been?

Long time no read!

:hi:
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quip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-05-08 11:44 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. Yeah, holidays with family left little time for online families
:-(

And then I have been sick for the past week. But I'm on the mend jut in time for this FRIDAY the 11th.... ;-)
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zabet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-06-08 12:11 AM
Response to Original message
12. ...
Step 2. Transfer kumquat to the right hand.
Step 3. Watch the right crush the poor kumquat.
Step 4. Say to the pulverized pulp of the kumquat,
"It is ALWAYS better to stay on the left."
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Dr. Strange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-07-08 10:57 AM
Response to Reply #12
22. Nice!
Although I have one minor quibble:

It is ALWAYS better to stay on the left.


I don't think that applies to driving! (At least not in America.)
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Kutjara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-06-08 12:14 AM
Response to Original message
13. "WHAT ABOUT THE KUMQUATS!?!"
Any other W. C. Fields fans out there?
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lost-in-nj Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-06-08 01:06 PM
Response to Original message
15. This actually shows you
how to handle a kumquat

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go

go figure

lost




:hi:
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Dr. Strange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-06-08 01:21 PM
Response to Reply #15
17. Ah, yes, that reminds me of something I said to my kumquat just last week...
He was going on and on about something or other, and I finally said,

SILENCE! I PEEL YOU!

Oh he laughed his little kumquat ass off at that one, let me tell you!
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dembotoz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-06-08 07:25 PM
Response to Original message
21. i got kumquats for xmas
sort of a family joke about kumquats
and I got some.

One of many reasons why I don't like xmas.
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