Can i whine a bit about heterosexual privileges and homophobia even in liberals?

so lisa is having her gig tonight at a bar in williamsburg

her drummer is a coworker of mine. he sent out an invite to the office.

we forgot to mention it was a gay bar. neither the drummer nor i actually thought it was a big deal. this is after all an office full of young people in nyc.

i just walked in to a conversation about why some of the boys cannot go to a gay bar.

"i have never been to one before" " i dont want no boys grabbing my ass" etc

ugh

:puke:

thanks for hearing me.

on edit: would i be able to get away saying that i dont go to straight bars? never. all our events are at straight bars/clubs etc.

Tell them that if a gay guy grabs their ass, to take it as a compliment. At least that's how I take it when my ass is grabbed (although I have to watch out more for horny 60+ women than gay men. I must not have a gay-caliber ass :cry: )

thanks :hug:

:hi: if you are not busy, please come to lisa's show!

Maybe next time.

If they want to do that, they'll have to go to some het meat market instead.

You COULD look at it as "fear of the new" or something, but i see where you are coming from. And I absolutely could imagine some lesbians I know feeling that way about a "straight" bar; most men just don't flirt in a subtle way, I guess.

I always took it as a compliment back in the day if a gay guy made a pass at me or something.

as if they will walk into the bar and gay men will just thrust themselves upon them because they are such hot stuff. Unless women do that when they walk into a straight bar, I don't see how this would be a problem for them...but who knows

where they forcibly convert straight men that walk into any gay bar!

Do they think that when they walk in, it's going to be a room full of sexual orgies going on? Do they think that they're the hottest guys on the face of the Earth, so therefore the gay guys in the bar are automatically going to be hot for them or something?

God...I don't know about some of those straight guys. :eyes:

Apparently you gay men get better ones than we get. You bastards!

They're bigger and tastier.

We are, indeed, more privileged with the pretzels than you heteros. :-)

One day we shall come when all of you are sleeping, and steal those pretzels! Yes, and we'll keep them right next to our pickled eggs!

Can it be?????

edit: Maybe it can. Remember Victor Ashe?

Like, duh. :sarcasm:

A friend of mine in college was straight, but went to the gay bars all the time to get free drinks.

A couple of years ago, we went to a bar here in Chicago, Big Chicks. We had...a nice time. Drinks, good friends and nice conversation. An enjoyable time was had by all. :-)

friends who always hung out with me at my hetero-stud boy bars until one of them said, "Hey, why do we always go to your places? Can you go to one of our hang outs, at least once?" I couldn't debate the logic of that and was a bit nervous about going, but decided that I owed it to my group to at least try. I remember being nervous, I don't know why, until I walked in and saw that it was pretty much the same as any other bar. Except the music choice was a bit different, no Lynrd Skynrd. One of my friends said as I walked in, they got straight beer here too! :-)

is not necessarily an indicator of liberalness in other areas. Thus can I be kinda hinky about the word "liberal." Y'gotta walk the walk, and there's a hell of a lotta LINOs out there.

I've wanted for years to go to a gay bar, just for the experience. I'd go only with a gay friend, though; I ain't that brave. :)

But I'd sure as hell go to see Lisa Hahn and the Dot Com. :headbang:

:hug:

This is where I once again mourn the death of exclusively goth clubs, because no one ever gave a shit about that kind of thing. Of course, hetero goths are probably in the minority anyway. :P

But when I did going to a gay bar was the same as going to any bar. If people were not so discriminatory to gays in the first place there wouldn't even be a need for "gay bars" but people get all squirmy if they see a gay couple out enjoying themselves, dancing and showing affection to each other.

:hug:

to EVERYONE of the same gender?

:crazy:

Sorry you work with such turds.

turd

:hug:

Although I will never understand why straight people are under the impression that all homosexuals are attacted to them. :wtf: Cuz all heterosexuals are? It makes no sense to me.

I love overhearing some meathead say that they're afraid some guy will grab their ass: I usually walk by, roll my eyes dramatically, and say, "please, you don't have nothin' anyone wants honey."

Yes, I know it's immature and probably doesn't really help the situation, but I've kind of given up on trying to be rational to this sort of behavior.

On a side note, I wasn't aware Lisa was in a band! Awesome. Do you/they/she have any links?

that women will grab their asses when they go to a straight bar....

that the people you describe are exactly the kind you DON'T want at the gig.

No need to surround oneself with ignorant idiots.

Hope the gig goes great!

I'm not sure if they think the people in gay bars are so desperate that they'll jump on anything that walks through the door or if they think they're so sexually deviant, they won't care. Or if they think they're trying to "convert."

Whatever it is, whenever I hear someone say something like that, I tell them, "Well, YOU probably don't have anything to worry about." When delivered properly, the person can't tell if it's an insult or a reassurance. :rofl:

Back when I used to go to bars, I went to a bunch of different types. I enjoyed them all. The one gay bar in my little town had some great jazz bands, it was cozy and had a nice atmosphere and I had a lot of friends there. And no one ever grabbed my ass. :grr:

How inventive of him... :eyes:


Hope the gig goes well- I'd come, if it wasn't literally 1000+ miles away...

You should say something witty like, "No, I think they have much better taste then that."

Kidding. Don't say it... but you can think that if it makes you feel better.

I hate it when ignorant straight dudes treat everything like it's a threat to their "manliness". Give me a break. So what if a gay guy hits on you?

I'm so sorry to hear you have to put up with that BS.

I like gay bars myself. Used to play softball for a bar that had a varied clientele but belonged to the gay league. The only team we beat was the leather bar.

Especially when it's justified... like in this situation.

*edit* the complaining about the homophobia is justified, I mean. The homophobia isn't justified. :)

I've noticed a tendency in certain straight people to think they are desirable to gays simple because there are the same sex. I don't understand that type of thinking, it's beyond stupid.

Anyway, one of the many endearing things about my husband is his lack of homophobia. He used to get a bit of flirtation from gay men, and even now in middle age, still occasionally does.

My daughter and I never could figure it out. (he's a biker looking type) I guess it's that "bear" look.

But I like to think it's because that man's soul shines through his eyes. Lots of love and compassion for people.

I'd give you a hug but ...oh my gosh what if you take it the wrong way...as it is I am so hot....I have to scare women off w/ penis shaped sticks
:sarcasm: - just in case you didn't know


:hug: :hug: :hug:

please whine and vent away...

but let me make sure I understand this:
There is a homosexual "agenda" in which "lesbian gangs"(- per Bill O, have not heard of gay male gangs yet) and gay males try to "convert" egotistical, obnoxious, self-absorbed, and idiotic heterosexuals to the gay lifestyle. By using their uber-secret gay-dar, the homosexuals can sense the presence of these unsuspecting heteros, and using a complex code consisting of body language and dance music, communicate to other gays in a 1 mile radius "fresh meat" and after hearing the call, the gays pounce and begin viscously grabbing the asses and other body parts of the heteros.

ugh...

In all seriousness -

The sad thing is, as you have stated in your post - this is a common belief and fear (granted I did go a little overboard) and it makes me sick and sincerely hon, I am sorry that you have to deal w/ it.

You mention in your subject line "heterosexual privilege" and you are so right. Back in my single days I didn't give a thought about who I flirted with or what bar I went to - if someone wasn't interested I was just embarassed. However, as some of my gay friends have pointed out - embarrassment from flirting w/ the wrong person for them is nothing compared to the tragic and violent consequences some have experienced. And yet straight men and women are the ones afraid....

:hug: :hug: :hug:

on edit: needed more hugs

Why are people so threatening by the sexuality of other people? It's always something that's been hard for me to grasp. We all have our preferences, but if someone you aren't into hits on you, all you have to do is a polite "no thank you" whether gay strait, or bi. I just don't understand the fear.

Not just the gays.

please tell me you are beng sarcastic

Astounding, isn't it?

:P

fear takes over and creates crap in their heads. I say screw 'em if they dont want to go for whatever reason.

:hug:

Alas, there is ample evidence of rampant homophobia even here at the mighty DU.

Don't even get me started on l'affaire Obama-McClurkin...

What's the worst that could happen to me? I might get hit on once or twice? Well, that's more than what happens to me in straight bars :D.

If you guys lived a little closer, I'd see Lisa play anywhere.

it would change their minds if their minds were open at all.

Sorry that there is such homophobia even in NYC

I'd expect it in Arkansas

:eyes:

:hug:

Can't keep their hands off women's asses out at the bar, they assume the same lame-ass behavior from other men, towards them? :banghead:

I'm sorry that your coworkers put fear and ignorance before learning and acceptance, Lioness. :hug: I hope that Lisa has a great gig!

It's because I can't dance worth a shit. And that stands out bad enough in a straight bar.

As for guys hitting on me, it's happened on a few occasions. I take it as a compliment, but I politely refuse the offer. What's so complicated about that? :shrug:

Let me summarize every straight bar I've ever been to:

Sit.
Drink way-overpriced alcohol (not in my case).
Mill past tons of either a) frat boys or b) Jersey-mook-looking beer guts with cheap cologne, Hogan headrags, gold and Harley shirts to take a piss.
Listen to really bad modern rap, really bad modern country, John Mellen CougarCamp, AC/DC or post Smell the Glove-Metallica.
Sit.
Look around at a bunch of people you don't know, because the ones you're with aren't involving you in their conversation.
All of your conversations border on yelling, if you have one at all, because music listed above is blaring to the point of agony.
Drink more way-overpriced alcohol (again, not in my case).
Watch people on TV you can't hear (or even read, because they don't even bother to put the CC on), music videos you can't hear or sports you don't like.
Repeat for four to six HOURS.

I've been to two gay bars on four different occasions and I gotta tell ya -

WAY more fun.
WAY better music.
WAY more positive vibe.
WAY less bad midwestern mulletude.
Everyone's unique rather than just a big dumbass blend of A&F, neckless football players or fight-starting dickheads. Incidentally, why is it that people who start fights usually CAN'T fight?

One of those occasions was Halloween. That was the best damned Halloween I had anywhere. I met so many great people and the costumes were unbelievable. One guy came with s functioning clock tower atop his frightwig.

I cannot believe in this day and age that straight guys actually worry that a gay guy is going to hit on them. That's just fucking laughable.

if I'm going to go to a bar - meaning, a place with music and loud people.

Of course, my highest preference is a place that's quiet, reserved, and in which one can sit with friends and hold a conversation.

But, if I want a more party atmoshpere, gay bars are the only place to go - they tend to be cleaner, they're filled with better people (that is, better educated, less asshole redneck macho behavior, the women aren't just big-haired platinum-highlighted vacuous idiot sluts looking for mullet-wearing Bud-swilling jackasses to take home for the night, and better dressed), and have WAAAAAY better music.