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The BlueIris Semi-Nightly Poetry Break, 1/22/08

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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-22-08 08:37 PM
Original message
The BlueIris Semi-Nightly Poetry Break, 1/22/08
"Time"

A soul of early fog
trespasses
across brittle and broken
yellow stems of winter grass.
The soul hitchhikes
on the highway
that eats its young,
with gaurdrail teeth
and asphalt tongue.

—Todd Hanks
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Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-22-08 08:48 PM
Response to Original message
1. perfect.
Edited on Tue Jan-22-08 08:50 PM by Tuesday Afternoon
not one extra unnecessary word anywhere.

Thank you BlueIris.
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-22-08 10:38 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Sure thing.
I was gonna post another poem today, but the events of this afternoon sorta rendered it inappropriate.
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-22-08 10:41 PM
Response to Original message
3. That is a very awesome, visual poem.
Thank you! :)

"A soul of early fog." That first line grabs you and really makes you think. There's so much you can do from there.

I can imagine that line being posted in the front of a class, and everyone using it as a staring point for so many radically different poems.
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-22-08 10:44 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. Yeah, this is one of the more unusual pieces I've found.
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-23-08 12:36 AM
Response to Original message
5. One last kick before sleepytime I think.
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