So from your own experience, how is sex like riding a bike?

yellowcanine

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:33 AM
Original message

So from your own experience, how is sex like riding a bike?

Edited on Fri Jan-25-08 11:34 AM by yellowcanine

I will start. Once you learn, you never forget!

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dpbrown

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:36 AM
Response to Original message

1. It's best to have a professional fitting done first

:rofl:

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Bake

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:37 AM
Response to Original message

2. You gotta do it a lot to stay in practice?

Unusual "riding" positions can be dangerous?

Don't ride with no hands?

Bake

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mainegreen

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:38 AM
Response to Original message

3. You have more control when alone, but it's more fun with two!

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Bake

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:39 AM
Response to Reply #3

7. But only if theone in back keeps pedaling.....

One person can't do all the work!

Bake

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yellowcanine

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:40 AM
Response to Reply #7

9. Oh my. How true.

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bikebloke

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Fri Jan-25-08 07:21 PM
Response to Reply #7

64. Boy, do I know that.

I've had the misfortune of of pairing up with women where I do all the work giving pleasure (I don't mind) But, crikey, how about some interaction. And then they wondered why I drifted away.

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yellowcanine

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:39 AM
Response to Reply #3

8. Now that one gets points for originality. Good one.

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Bake

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:38 AM
Response to Original message

4. I know! I know!

Always wear protective clothing?

Bake

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MissMillie

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:38 AM
Response to Original message

5. if you're not careful, you'll fall off

:shrug:

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montanto

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:41 AM
Response to Reply #5

10. Dammit!! That was mine!

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skygazer

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:39 AM
Response to Original message

6. It's not harmful to the environment

And it's a fun, zesty enterprise. :P

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yellowcanine

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:42 AM
Response to Reply #6

14. Can't argue with that. Might depend on how one disposes of waste material, though.

Err - as in used condoms?

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LeftyMom

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:41 AM
Response to Original message

11. It's a fun way to burn calories.

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Richardo

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:42 AM
Response to Original message

12. Stretchy shorts, plastic tassles and a thumb-bell

Edited on Fri Jan-25-08 11:43 AM by Richardo

Duh.

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IronLionZion

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:42 AM
Response to Original message

13. Do it often to build up your endurance. It's good for your health. nt

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Omphaloskepsis

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:42 AM
Response to Original message

15. Taking a shower after isn't a bad idea.

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yellowcanine

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:44 AM
Response to Original message

16. Expensive equipment doesn't necessarily enhance the experience.

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LanternWaste

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:48 AM
Response to Original message

17. Ummm, I do it a lot and I do it alone....?

Ummm, I do it a lot and I do it alone....? :blush:

There's just nothing in that statement to be proud of.

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JustABozoOnThisBus

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:50 AM
Response to Original message

18. Both "sports" have performance-enhancing drugs

but in biking, there are penalties ...

:rofl:

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FloridaJudy

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:50 AM
Response to Original message

19. Over do it and you'll be sore

In interesting locations.

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IndianaJones

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:50 AM
Response to Original message

20. wearing a helmet, while highly recommended, sucks. nt.

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racaulk

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Fri Jan-25-08 05:01 PM
Response to Reply #20

50. Perfect!

:rofl:

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Schema Thing

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:52 AM
Response to Original message

21. both make your crotch burn like fire

er, y'know... if you ride a bike that's not meant for you.

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Arugula Latte

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:54 AM
Response to Original message

22. Some like the fat tires and some like the skinny tires.

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bigwillq

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:55 AM
Response to Original message

23. If you ride it too much

it could hurt your butt. :evilgrin: :hide:

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DS1

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:57 AM
Response to Original message

24. Guys with one testicle can be very good at it

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billyskank

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Fri Jan-25-08 11:59 AM
Response to Original message

25. You do so forget!

In my experience, if you go for YEARS between fucks then the first fuck after all that time will be a bad one. In fact it will probably be so bad it would put you off sex forever, if it weren't for the overwhelming sense of relief you have at finally breaking your drought. It isn't just a case of getting naked and going in, out, in, out. You have to find out what feels nice, and you need practice.

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Orsino

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Fri Jan-25-08 12:02 PM
Response to Original message

26. If you don't wrap your pants legs, they can get snagged.

I hate it when that happens.

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lost-in-nj

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Fri Jan-25-08 12:03 PM
Response to Original message

27. If you fall off

the wrong way
you can scrape your knees.....

:evilgrin:

lost

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yellowcanine

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Fri Jan-25-08 12:06 PM
Response to Reply #27

28. If you fall off it is best to get right back on.

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blueknight

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Fri Jan-25-08 12:07 PM
Response to Reply #28

29. they are both hard to do,

if you had too much to drink

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yellowcanine

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Fri Jan-25-08 12:09 PM
Response to Original message

30. Doing it with someone you don't know is more exciting.

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Connonym

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Fri Jan-25-08 12:10 PM
Response to Original message

31. Duzy, get yer Duzy!

This is the kind of thread that Duzys were made for :thumbsup:

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yellowcanine

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Fri Jan-25-08 12:17 PM
Response to Reply #31

33. Thanks, It took me three tries - sex like physics, sex like eating a baked potato - then this one.

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unpossibles

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Fri Jan-25-08 12:16 PM
Response to Original message

32. it sucks when your bike gets stolen?

Toe clips aren't so bad once you get used to them?

I lose my breath more lately then I used to?

It's sometimes too easy to come with an excuse not to?

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yellowcanine

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Fri Jan-25-08 12:19 PM
Response to Original message

34. Going as fast as possible isn't always such a good strategy.

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SPKrazy

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Fri Jan-25-08 12:19 PM
Response to Original message

35. you can end up with sore

private parts if you ride a really long ways for a long time,... (aka testicles for guys anyway)

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Richard Steele

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Fri Jan-25-08 12:21 PM
Response to Original message

36. If you have a blowout and no spare, you're walking the rest of the way home.

If ya know what I mean.

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montanto

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Fri Jan-25-08 04:51 PM
Response to Reply #36

48. Bwaaahahahaha!

:rofl:

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DarkTirade

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Fri Jan-25-08 12:26 PM
Response to Original message

37. If you do it too long your legs will get tired and cramped.

Edited on Fri Jan-25-08 12:27 PM by DarkTirade

But if you do it often enough it'll help you get in shape.

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auburngrad82

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Fri Jan-25-08 02:45 PM
Response to Original message

38. Sixty seconds of either one and I need a nap? nt

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DS1

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Fri Jan-25-08 02:46 PM
Response to Original message

39. falling asleep while doing either can result in a head wound

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Giant Robot

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Fri Jan-25-08 03:27 PM
Response to Original message

40. It sucks when a chain breaks

:shrug:

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Magrittes Pipe

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Fri Jan-25-08 03:30 PM
Response to Original message

41. I get to wear a cute yellow jersey for finishing first?

:shrug:

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MilesColtrane

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Fri Jan-25-08 03:35 PM
Response to Original message

42. The use of more than ten speeds is unnecessary and amounts to just showing off.

Edited on Fri Jan-25-08 03:36 PM by MilesColtrane

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Oeditpus Rex

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Fri Jan-25-08 03:58 PM
Response to Original message

43. Enjoyment of both is enhanced by going 'VROOM, VROOM!'

...or is that just me? :shrug:

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IzaSparrow

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Fri Jan-25-08 07:03 PM
Response to Reply #43

61. this one made me laugh very hard

:rofl:

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TrogL

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Fri Jan-25-08 04:04 PM
Response to Original message

44. Blisters - big ones

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rug

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Fri Jan-25-08 04:08 PM
Response to Original message

45. Chains are used in both.

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Throd

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Fri Jan-25-08 04:45 PM
Response to Original message

46. It's more fun to ride with a partner.

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THUNDER HANDS

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Fri Jan-25-08 04:45 PM
Response to Original message

47. Rush Limbaugh has done neither

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racaulk

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Fri Jan-25-08 05:00 PM
Response to Original message

49. You have a black, hard thing on your ass and you're bouncing up and down.

If you're riding on an unpaved surface, that is.

:rofl:

This entire thread is a scream! Thank you! :hi:

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Phillycat

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Fri Jan-25-08 05:05 PM
Response to Original message

51. Do it long enough, you'll end up walkin' funny.

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texas1928

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Fri Jan-25-08 05:05 PM
Response to Original message

52. Put the seat back on.

SHEEESH

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AnneD

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Fri Jan-25-08 05:14 PM
Response to Original message

53. Some folks like to do sprints...

Edited on Fri Jan-25-08 05:17 PM by AnneD

but the long slow rides are more fun for everyone involved.;)

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AnneD

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Fri Jan-25-08 05:15 PM
Response to Original message

54. You don't need a map....

Edited on Fri Jan-25-08 05:16 PM by AnneD

just look where you're going.

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AnneD

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Fri Jan-25-08 05:19 PM
Response to Original message

55. It is a good idea to care a spare....

it can even be more fun.

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taterguy

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Fri Jan-25-08 05:28 PM
Response to Original message

56. Doing it when you're drunk can lead to all sorts of maladies and unsightly abrasions

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YDogg

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Fri Jan-25-08 06:47 PM
Response to Original message

57. Watch out for potholes.

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YDogg

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Fri Jan-25-08 06:52 PM
Response to Original message

58. Some rides are more scenic than others.

:shrug:

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GoddessOfGuinness

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Fri Jan-25-08 06:53 PM
Response to Original message

59. Lower gears are slower, but they make for a more pleasant ride.

:evilgrin:

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Bucky

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Fri Jan-25-08 06:54 PM
Response to Original message

60. I'm supposed to wear a helmet & it's painful when i get my penis caught in the gears

Of course I'm not very good at bike riding.

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IzaSparrow

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Fri Jan-25-08 07:05 PM
Response to Original message

62. doing it allows you to see more of nature's finest

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RadiationTherapy

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Fri Jan-25-08 07:11 PM
Response to Original message

63. SCRAPED UP KNEES AND KNUCKLES!!! n/t

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Blue-Jay

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Fri Jan-25-08 07:22 PM
Response to Original message

65. It makes your taint smell weird.

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triguy46

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Fri Jan-25-08 08:35 PM
Response to Original message

66. Greasy chains.

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sarge43

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Fri Jan-25-08 08:47 PM
Response to Original message

67. You can get your pant leg caught in the chain, be thrown to the ground,

get a bloody nose, split lip, scrapped palms and a dislocated knee cap, have people stand over you asking if you're ok and wind with a godawful med bill and a broken bike. Otherwise, sex is nothing like riding a bike.

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Prisoner_Number_Six

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Fri Jan-25-08 08:52 PM
Response to Original message

68. It all depends on what kind of pump you use to inflate your tires.

...and how much pressure the tires can handle.

Duh.

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Shine

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Fri Jan-25-08 08:54 PM
Response to Original message

69. It's always a good idea to have the right kind of lube.

:evilgrin: trust me on that one.

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CreekDog

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Fri Jan-25-08 09:04 PM
Response to Original message

70. Welp, I think because it helps if you have a helmet

:shrug:

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OPERATIONMINDCRIME

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Fri Jan-25-08 09:06 PM
Response to Original message

71. When You Do Either Too Close To The Road, Drivers Are Always Beepin?

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BlueIris

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Fri Jan-25-08 09:09 PM
Response to Original message

72. The maintenance and upkeep required for both is getting damn expensive.

And quit bitching about the helmet issue, dipshits.

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AwakeAtLast

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Fri Jan-25-08 09:10 PM
Response to Original message

73. It's not the size of the bike, but how well you pedal!

Edited on Fri Jan-25-08 09:11 PM by WakeMeUp

:D

Great thread!

:rofl:

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GigiMommy

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Fri Jan-25-08 09:13 PM
Response to Original message

74. You can do it standing up?

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FloridaJudy

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Fri Jan-25-08 09:23 PM
Response to Original message

75. People who boast about how long and often they do it

Are usually lying, and always annoying.

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no name no slogan

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Fri Jan-25-08 09:24 PM
Response to Original message

76. They're fun to ride unti your friends see you

I have no idea what I'm saying

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Withywindle

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Fri Jan-25-08 10:13 PM
Response to Original message

77. I'm really into and good at one of them...

and never learned how to do the other.

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GaYellowDawg

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Fri Jan-25-08 10:31 PM
Response to Original message

78. I haven't ridden a bike in waaaaaaaaay too long.

:argh:

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