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What do you do when someone calls you a "bad name"?

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IdaBriggs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-26-08 08:16 PM
Original message
What do you do when someone calls you a "bad name"?
Someone who *knows* better, but is obviously having a bad day, just called me a "Stupid C*nt."

My head nearly exploded, and I asked the obvious question, "What did you just say?" in a very angry, you'd better NOT be saying that tone.

To which, the person in question began shouting and chanting "Stupid C*nt! Stupid C*nt! Stupid C*nt!"

I came very close to committing an act of physical violence, but opted to walk to the computer instead.

I am very angry. No, there was no provocation -- we were putting away groceries, and the person in question got snippy over some of the items I purchased.

He just tried to apologize, but I'm still angry.

:mad:
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CreekDog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-26-08 08:21 PM
Response to Original message
1. Wow, they were totally over the line
Since sorry isn't quite cutting it right now, if you are ultimately inclined to forgive, tell them, "Okay, how are you going to make it up to me?"

Then see what happens. But that's just wrong to say something so crude and hurtful. That said, people say things they don't mean all the time to win arguments and hurt feelings.
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hippywife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-26-08 08:21 PM
Response to Original message
2. Oh, man!
Edited on Sat Jan-26-08 08:21 PM by hippywife
I don't know what I'd do if my husband said that to me, because I know he never, ever would. I would be incredible crushed and start crying, I'm pretty sure.

To me that word is the ultimate in no respect at all. I'm so sorry that happened to you. :hug:
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Joey Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-26-08 08:22 PM
Response to Original message
3. Wow
You did the right thing by walking away. I have a great self defense instructor. He's taught me a lot about walking away, all while he teaches me how to fight good.
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Debi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-26-08 08:22 PM
Response to Original message
4. Stay angry for a while - THAT WORD does not belong in anyone's
vocabulary x(


:mad:

:grr:

:mad:

:grr:
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Fire Walk With Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-26-08 08:22 PM
Response to Original message
5. I get a ton of people pushing my buttons with everything from names to acerbic associations.
All I can conclude is that they are part of Bush's 29%.
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ismnotwasm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-26-08 08:32 PM
Response to Original message
6. I do about the same
Say something like "Who are you talking to, 'cause I KNOW you didn't just say that to me. Then I'd get really, really snotty, give the "look" and ignore the fuck out of them, laugh and walk away.

That's if I was being civilized. If not (and I'm not, really) I'd call them every name I know, starting with the one directed at me, and since I'm a very good and experienced cusser, It wouldn't end well.
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opiate69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-26-08 08:33 PM
Response to Original message
7. If I'm feeling particularly flippant I'll retort with:
"I've been called worse, by better" and leave it at that.
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LeftyFingerPop Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-26-08 08:34 PM
Response to Original message
8. Sharp elbow to the temple. n/t
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-26-08 08:38 PM
Response to Original message
9. If you were called the "C" word over some groceries...
..it's time to re-evaluate that relationship.

It's not like a slip-of-the-tongue, either, from the way you described it.

That's pretty bad. That's really bad.

:hug:
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pitohui Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-26-08 08:38 PM
Response to Original message
10. how old was this person? like 3? give him a time out
if it was an adult, then i don't know what to tell you, how immature can you get
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AlCzervik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-26-08 08:39 PM
Response to Original message
11. i would have to leave the room pronto and then i'd have to figure it out later.
thats going to be a very hard bell to unring.
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crispini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-26-08 08:44 PM
Response to Original message
12. zOMG!
Uhhhh. Wow. That's really bad. That's completely symptomatic of much worse. I don't know what I'd do about that. Dang.
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IdaBriggs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-26-08 08:54 PM
Response to Original message
13. We just had a LONG talk (in a very short time) and he committed an act of penance
by washing his mouth out with soap. Liquid soap. Eight squirts -- one for each time he said "it."

We can't even come up with a "male" equivalent word.

I don't think he'll do it again soon.

At least I hope not.

:grr:
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femmocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-26-08 09:55 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. And you were satisfied with that?
He was verbally abusive to you. Washing out his mouth like a child does not seem adequate "penance" IMO.
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WritingIsMyReligion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-26-08 09:46 PM
Response to Original message
14. "Oh, fuck you."
Edited on Sat Jan-26-08 09:47 PM by WritingIsMyReligion
"At least I'm not a fucking dirty prick."

What an asinine thing to say. I would not let the jackass get away with it, nosirree, even if he did wear my wedding ring. ESPECIALLY if he wore my wedding ring. No excuse for that blatant sexism.
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-26-08 09:52 PM
Response to Original message
15. I had a relationship go from incidents like that to violence pretty quickly.
Edited on Sat Jan-26-08 09:58 PM by LeftyMom
I'm not saying yours will, but somebody who could call you something like that (and then compound the problem by repeating it) can't have much respect for you.

Edit: Abusers fall all over themselves to apologize and swear it'll never happen again. They do the same damn routine when it happens again.
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zabet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-26-08 09:56 PM
Response to Original message
17. You are a better person than
I would have been about it.
I probably would have said
"you know, with no more dick
and no more brains than you
have, that could apply
to you too bucky."
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