Was I Over The Line - Insulting My Husband?

We were having a dispute over a family trip and I said we should pick up some of my sister's part because we're in a better financial situation than she is. She lives in an urban area and pays more in rent on a studio than we do on our 3 bedroom house - plus, I earn more than she does.

Now my husband, who is a pretty loyal Dem voter said that we shouldn't help her out because the financial problems she has are of her own choosing - that she's a smart woman who could get a better paying job or she should move to a less expensive area, but he shouldn't subsidize her poor choices.

At which point I said, "You sound like a Republican."

Did I go too far?

my STBX
said I sounded like a democrat.....



I said WTF?????????????????




lost

Although she is your family. In your situation I'd help her out once and only once. Also whatever you do give her, make sure to understand there is a very good chance you will not get it back. Never, never lend money you cannot live without.

1. what does she do for a living?
2. why does she choose to live there?
3. what are the choices he refers to?

he does sound like a Repuke from what you say

but I couldn't tell you with certainty whether I agree or disagree with him based on the limited data.

:hi:

Maybe he deserved hearing it, even if it isn't true!

what's next, the N-word?

:spank:

:D

but Republican...them's fightin' words. :nuke:

Family takes care of its own.
Perhaps your husband needs to be reminded of this.
She's not a meth head, not screwing up your family, she's not sucking money from you constantly (or maybe not ever).
If it's a family trip, your husband just was an ass.
Let him know that, as gently as possible, as she's your sister, and it's a family trip you will be helping her out.

(that's what I would do).

You did NOT go too far.
If he'd said that about one of my relatives, I would've throttled him.

and kick him in the groin.

There's a HUGE difference.

If the situation is that she lives in a more expensive area and makes less money than you, but is staying afloat and doing fine and not in any danger, then I would be hesitant to help her - that could be seen as condescending. In this case, what you could do is occasionally buy her dinner or something on the trip. Then it's not really charity or handouts, and isn't something to make her feel like a child.

If the issue is that she's in a position of not being able to go on the trip without some help because she has no concept of financial responsibility, then help her, especially if this trip is really important to have family along.

You also don't mention how many other family are going.



But, to answer specifically whether calling someone a Republican is an insult - yes, it is. Even to those who are Republicans.

Like so many Americans, she makes up the difference between her income and expenses by charging it. When I asked her about it, she said it wasn't as high as most Americans. To which I said, I don't care as much about them as I do you.

She's too proud to directly ask for help, and wants too much to be independent. But, she wouldn't turn down an offer to pick up an expense.

I don't think she really has a concept of financial responsibility. My Mom and Step-father have had some bad luck and maybe have not made the most sensible choices so they aren't in a position to help her. My husband and I are probably in the best shape - except for maybe my step-brother and his wife

I live in a studio apartment that costs as much as a small house outside of the city would. I also don't make a load of money, but a lot for having a job that I love. I don't expect people to pay my way - I've made all of my own choices, and I'm happy with what I've got. If someone asked me to go along on a trip and I couldn't afford it, I'd maybe ask if they could pay my way if they really wanted me to go (this has, in fact, happened before when I was dirt poor and shared a house with roommates). If I volunteer for an activity, I expect to pay my own way - it is just part of how I've chosen to make and spend money.

you mean thing;-)